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Most people don’t think about the deeper meaning of the Frasier theme song. A psychiatrist by trade, Frasier himself sings, “I don’t know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs, they’re callin’ again.” Yes, on the surface you’d think that Frasier is probably eating tossed salad and scrambled eggs at a brunch where a bunch of socialites rave about the night before’s opera. But “tossed salads” and “scrambled eggs” are actually a metaphor for the people Frasier deals with on a daily basis – his troubled callers, his eccentric family, or the women he courts throughout the series.
In today’s dating landscape, it’s not uncommon for someone to ask about your “number,” i.e. how many people you’ve slept with. Whether your number is big, small, or somewhere in between, your answer could hold significant weight when someone is determining whether or not they could see themselves settling down with you. Conservatively, Dr. Frasier Crane dated and/or slept with around 57 women through the 11 seasons the program ran on NBC. Additionally, it’s estimated that Jerry Seinfeld (you know, the other most popular sitcom star of the 90s) dated and/or slept with 73 different partners throughout the show’s tenure. Those numbers are preposterous if not downright gaudy.
Can you imagine telling someone on a third date at an Italian restaurant over a plate of bolognese that you’ve been intimate with anywhere between 57 and 73 different women? You’d be blacklisted from her, her friends, and anyone in her entire social network. Most people would be scared to reveal a number in the double-digits let alone the number of a graduating class of a D-Class High School.
Upon having the realization that these two treated Seattle and New York (respectively) as their personal stomping grounds for the better part of a decade, I simply had to think it out further and come up with an answer as to how these two made such a killing.
I. The Proximity
Frasier (based in Seattle after leaving Boston) lives in a top-20 city based on population while Jerry lived in the number one city in the United States, New York City. Obviously, these two didn’t have any dating apps to rely on so they had to get their work done in the old-fashioned way: talking to women in real life. Shocking, I know.
While Frasier just sat at Cafe Nervosa pounding cappuccinos, Jerry seemed to be scouting with his head on a swivel from Tom’s Restaurant. Obviously, their extended network of friends in two of the busiest cities in the nation lent them to meeting many more women than if they were living in your Des Moines or your Wichitas. People that lived in Des Moines and Wichita in the 90s probably only had sex with, like, ten people rather than five dozen. Losers.
II. Their Careers
This is where these two began to set themselves apart from the pack. Their careers put them in the public eye – Frasier through his popular radio show and Jerry through his on-stage appearances as a stand-up comic. Money aside (we’ll get to that later), these two likely became somewhat well-known in the small pockets of their cities. Having a career where you’re the cock of the walk is going to elevate you in an unconnected 90s society. It gives you the advantage one needs while everyone else is simply slaving away at desk jobs (or, you know, sleeping under their desk like George).
III. Their Looks
Sure, on the surface, these two aren’t exactly lookers. Frasier, out of shape and bald, still gives off a very imposing and important feel when you watch him speak with his dominant voice. And despite Jerry Seinfeld’s scraggly body and ridiculous hair, he sure as hell knew how to dress. Faded jeans and an oversized shirt? Game over. He’s pretty much the sole reason norm core became a fad and would still make a killing if he lived in New York to this day (albeit in Brooklyn).
What they lacked in structural handsomeness they made up for in dope threads like squash uniforms, top coats, and puffy shirts. You know, bringing more to the table than the overplayed jeans and button down look that plagues our country to this day.
How’d they afford these duds? Well.
IV. Their Money
It always comes down to money, doesn’t it? Conservative estimates put Frasier’s condominium between $2.5 and $2.65 million while Jerry’s apartment on The Upper West Side would have had a monthly rent hovering around $2,700 for a one-bedroom. And please keep in mind that these prices are in the mid-to-late 90s and early 2000s, so yeah, they definitely made more money than you do. When you start factoring in Frasier’s trips to Aspen and tickets to every gala Seattle had to offer, it soon becomes evident that you just can’t expect to roll around in the same crowd as him.
So the reason you’re not sleeping with as many women as these two 1990s casanovas? Well, you’re simply not famous (or rich) enough to play at that level. And you’re not a character on a fictional television show, either. That always helps. .
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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This was outstanding. I’m being completely serious when I say you deserve a raise for this one, de Fries.
Agreed. One of the better pieces up in some time. Good shit DeFries
Please now explain how that pussy Ted Mosby goes to the same bar every night and happens to bang close to 100 of NY’s finest on an architect’s salary.
Easy, chicks dig an architect. How do you think Mr. Brady got a babe like Carol?
How about Costanza? Dude was an architect that built the new addition to the Guggenheim. On top of being a marine biologist, import/exporter, and working for the Yankees, he was the best hand model to ever live. No wonder he pulled.
You forget the single mom factor.
Solid point. She did have hair of gold.
Can confirm
His apartment was right above the bar=easy end-of-night access. Plus he was adorable in earlier seasons before the desperation set in.
Profile pic checks out.
Doing research his number is no where near that high. His dating/ slept with number apparently hovers around mid to low 30’s, still pretty high. Stinson on the other hand was banging 100’s of girls.
Giggety…
Also, love ol Schmosby, but apart from a few bad puns and self deprecating jokes, weak personality .
I think Barney banged number 200 in season 7
Todd is a fictional character. He also has to be rich to support girl. He SHOULD be playing at the Frasier/Seinfeld levels.
The saddest thing in life is wasted talent.
So much wasted potential.
Anybody else think it’s a major power move Jerry kept his real name in the series but made everyone else have character names? You just don’t see that sort of alpha dominance coming from these later guys like Steve Carell.
A la Will Smith in Fresh Prince
Yeah, but Jerry is the only character who played himself on the show so it makes sense to use his own name. It also would have given the other actors a chance to further their careers after the show by using character names, however the unforeseen success of the show basically prevented that from happening.
Julia Louis Dreyfus has had a respectable post-Seinfeld career. And might I add, still a babe.
I really don’t think those numbers are ridiculous. Frazier is at 57 women over 11 years which is about one new girl every two and a half months. Am I loko?
While that’s fair, it’s still ridiculous considering that for this to be the case:
1. Neither EVER settled down for longer than 2.5 months (very short period of time).
2. Neither went through huge cold streaks.
3. They essentially had decade-long careers as successful bachelors.
It’s all very possible, but still pretty crazy nonetheless.
Frasier did when he was unemployed aka he wore sweats to Cafe Nervosa
I think it is very possible they went through cold streaks AND
I think it is very possible they went through cold streaks and hot streaks. Get a little hot, meet 3 nice ladies in a month, then you’re good for the next 6 months, right?
I don’t know what happened to only have half my reply get posted. Computer my have had a stroke, will keep you updated.
Know a guy who slept with 100 girls over 6 years in college. Basically one girl every 3 weeks. After that I realized my count was pretty much 1 girl every 2 months. Kinda sad.
Well done, Will. I’ve always wondered how George did so well for himself, personally — opening with “My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents” doesn’t normally bode well, but the guy made it work.
George fucked
You mean Art Vanderlay fucks.
George is the real mystery. Jerry and Frasier had starpower (and Frasier seemed to date age-appropriate women most of the time, so I have an easier time believing that they wouldn’t prioritize his looks as much), but George was basically a horse out to stud.
You know what else is weird about George? He always seems fat, but he’s not. I guess he’s “TV fat”, but I always expect him to be way more paunchy than he is. But then there’s an episode where he’s shirtless and it’s just a regular dadbod.
The real question: how did Kramer not work, and afford the same apartment complex as Jerry? Don’t forget, he was the Kevorka.
Two words: rent control.
Great article, Jerry definitely was able to pull women out of his league because he’s hilarious. Women love funny guys
Costanza racked up quite a number during Seinfeld as well, in between the Susan years. Considering that George was basically a born loser, that’s even more surprising/impressive.
This is what I come to this website for. Damn fine work.