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I’d say my spring break is going pretty well. I did some day drinking on Monday, spent most of Tuesday miserably hungover, and got a cavity filled this morning. It’s been pretty well rounded, a few ups and downs, but I would take a massive hangover and novocaine any day of the week compared to dealing with the children in school last week. Anyway, after my appointment this morning with the dental version of Doogie Howser, I decided to treat myself to a cold brew at Starbucks. As I was waiting in line, I suddenly wished that both of my eardrums were numb, instead of one side of my face, because I was treated to a conversation that went something like this behind me:
“Bae, what are you going to get?”
“I don’t know, babe, I think something iced.”
“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking too, babe.”
When I turned around, I have to admit I was a little shocked. I expected to turn and see a high school couple behind me, full of angst and hormones and whatever else these kids are on these days, but instead, I saw two adults somewhere in their twenties studying the menu. I immediately rolled my eyes back to the front of my head and tried to block them out, but I could hear their pet names echoing through the store.
I don’t think those cute little nicknames – sweetie, babe, pumpkin, honey, etcetera – are endearing, adorable, or cute at all. I actually think they’re gross, and they can even be a little demeaning. I can’t stand it when people, whether I know them well or not at all, call me nicknames, from co-workers to a new waitress at my favorite restaurant. And I especially hate when couples use pet names. Some girls don’t like flowers – I don’t like pet names.
Am I less of a loving and affectionate person because I loathe pet names and baby talk? Maybe, or maybe I’m just practical. Your parents give you a name for a reason, and it’s my opinion that it should be used. I don’t think I’ve heard my one set of friends who are married call each other by their real names in almost a year, since the time one of them stepped in their dog’s shit. They have about ten nicknames for each other, each one more obnoxious than the last. It drives me fucking nuts. And I get it, it’s their thing. Maybe it was even something that started just between the two of them, and eventually, it slipped out in public. But these dumb nicknames and baby talk is freaking weird, and anyone who does it, I’m sorry, but it makes you sound like you suffer from some type of regression disorder. I won’t ever forget one of my college roommates’ ex-boyfriends turning and asking her, “Does Webecca want ice cweam, Wobby’s gonna get some ice cweam.” He must have forgotten that they weren’t alone, and quickly caught on that he sounded like a real ass because Wobby weft in a huwwy.
Call me crazy, call me a bitch, just don’t call me baby. I loathe pet names. I think it’s one of the most disgusting things that a couple can do. I would rather you shit with the door open then call me “babe, baby, boo, bae” or any version of the aforementioned. I have an actual name, and I would prefer that you use it. .
Respond
@_mmmk8
Bad take. You must have spent most of your life painfully single. I know pet names sound weird on the surface, and I admit hearing other people say them to their significant other in public makes me a little unconfortable. But I have spoken to my current girlfriend and exs in ways that I wouldn’t be caught dead talking in front of my best friends. A majority of people are guilty of it. When you get so comfortable with a person after a certain point, those pet names just kind of happen. Saying ‘Bae’ though is kind of weird. Babe is fine.
Agreed. This article screams bitter single lady. Babe is just fine. Bae is weird, but babe is totally ok.
She used clearly obnoxious examples here to make her point. Don’t think it’s fair to label her a “bitter single lady” over that
Bet she’s a cat person too.
Haha i know at least one of my down votes is coming from @sassyred1216
Keep the pet names to yourselves. People that call each other “babe” all the fucking time like that shitty football couple in Daria are awful. Accusing someone of being single based on their disdain for pet names is a bit of a stretch.
A+ Daria reference
Agreed, but it’s different in public. Save it for when you’re alone, no one wants to listen to that in Starbucks
I agree with her actually..
Unrelated, but A+ username
Thanks babe.
I think there is a difference between sickening pet names (baby, honey, etc) and cute/personal pet names. I have something I call my fiancé but I’d rather take dating advice from Duda before I call her babe or something similar
Unrelated, but What was that movie from ’95 with the cute little pig called?
Babe? Are you guys talking about Babe?
Thatll do Thatll do
Gordy
Newsflash: We’re all just out here looking for someone to call “babe”.
Hey babe, I mean, Ice.
Did you get that take from Duda’s article?
Feel like there’s a HUGE difference between baby talk and calling your SO “babe.” Babe is just a quick thing my boyfriend adds onto sentences to make them sound a little sweeter (i.e. I asked him where I should park at a restaurant the other day, he replied “wherever you want, babe” which I think sounds a little sweeter/nicer than “wherever you want”) Baby talk, on the other hand, is something completely different. I agree that when couples, as the one you mentioned, swap their R’s for W’s, it’s a bit obnoxious, but there’s nothing wrong with a little nickname.
Came here to say this
Come on, Toots. Live a little!
Are you sure it’s the nicknames that you hate and not just being in proximity of happy couples?
Sorry you’re single, babe
Be honest: you’re just really bitter about being single.
If you had a boyfriend to call you “babe,” you’d have no problem with it.
It’s also bothersome that you’re a teacher and yet you don’t know how to properly use (or in this case, not use) an apostrophe.
I’m sure she does however, this is just an article for a comedy/ lifestyle website. This isn’t her weekly newsletter home or an email to a parent. Why does everyone dissect teachers so hard? I’ve found multiple mistakes in many of the writers articles on here with limited criticism.
A) it’s the title, so it should be the most grammatically correct part of the whole column.
B) it’s not just a simple typo. You kind of have to put a little effort in to adding an unnecessary apostrophe.
Pretty sure the in house guys at PGP edit the titles. Will or Dave could have made the mistake.
I see your point and I’m not saying that that it’s not a big mistake. It is but the whole “but you’re a teacher” gets very old. The last guy I dated would grammatically correct my text messages. Due to the fact, “I’m a teacher.” All I’m saying is it gets very old being on the receiving end.
Jeez it was a facetious comment. Didn’t mean to strike a nerve.
I could care less about your grammar so sup?
Chill and help me with my taxes??
Get TurboTax or H&R Block. Unless you itemize, and I assume you don’t, they’re free to use and super simple.
I actually already did my taxes seeing as they are due tomorrow…
PSO: They’re actually due Tuesday, April 18th this year
*PSA
Busy season is rough guys…
Couldn’t* care less
I have married friends who have kids and still baby talk each other in public. It’a pretty vomit-inducing.
They “babe” pseudonym is a wonderful tool if you’re that bag of shit who dares multiple people at the same time because you don’t have to worry about mixing up names with the wrong people. Everyone’s a babe to someone and that notion actually scares me a little because I’ve met some pretty terrible human beings
Done this before. In my opinion it’s your subconscious telling you something, calling another girl by another girls name that is. Just a little bit.