20 Signs You Need To Cut Back On Your Drinking

You’re getting older. It’s just a fact of life. With age comes responsibility. Employment, accountability, bills and all that other crap. You can’t drink like you used to, not that your body won’t allow it, it’s just not socially acceptable to drink like you did in college. Hopefully you’ve figured that out by now. If you haven’t, here are the 20 signs you need to cut down on the sauce.

  1.  People have told you that you need to cut back on your drinking.
  2.  People at work have started asking if you are alright.
  3.  You reek of last night’s alcohol at the gym.
  4.  You’re still blacking out before midnight, forcing your friends to take care of you before any of them are even sufficiently drunk.
  5.  You’ve gotten kicked out of multiple happy hours.
  6.  You have more numbers for cab drivers than family members stored in your phone.
  7.  Happy hour usually ends with someone stuffing you into a cab.
  8.  You’ve lost your car. Doesn’t matter how many times. You lost your fucking car at least one time.
  9.  You’re spending more money on bar tabs than rent.
  10.  You’ve ordered Rumplemintz shots at lunch…on Tuesday.
  11.  You’re thinking about using your vacation days to go on spring break. Grow up, Peter Pan.
  12.  Your parents have called you to tell you they’re worried about you.
  13.  You’re still drunk dialing people.
  14.  Friday night comes around and no one has called you yet.
  15.  Someone at work invited you to an AA meeting.
  16.  You’ve woken up in a stranger’s house after not having intercourse with said stranger.
  17.  Older co-workers have learned to stop asking you what you did last weekend out of sheer horror.
  18.  You ruined the company Christmas party.
  19.  People around the office have started using your college nickname in conversation (ie: Smashley).
  20.  You’ve listed Hunter S. Thompson as a personal influence on a company survey.

Maybe take it easy for a few weeks. Stay safe out there, kids. Don’t drink and drive.

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TheChampionsTour (@ChampsTourTFM) is a contributing writer for Post Grad Problems, Rowdy Gentleman, and Total Frat Move .

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