The Pre-Grad Problems blog can be found at Toys-R-Us.com. Also, don’t do drugs just yet, wait until life has completely numbed you out of feeling alive. Don’t worry, soon enough you’ll be completely dead inside like most other adults. Oh, and I will take you to the fucking cleaners in lacrosse, dude. I’ll behind the back split dodge the shit out of you and break your ankles then get top side and score BTB just because I can. Once my Achilles attached itself to itself fully, you’re done. And being your dad with you so my dad can kick the shit out of him too
An even better method of finding love is to create a really elaborate and mystical story and then spread it everywhere you go until enough ppl catch on to the point where you can buy a house looking building for everyone to hang out in and then you all dress in funny clothes and don’t forget about the even funnier hat and for some weird reason more and more people who love you show up and then you don’t have to pay taxes and to hold everyone over you just give them some shitty cracker thing and some juice or wine and then when you die ppl will love you forever as opposed to going to your funeral for like 10 minutes then forgetting about you completely
I tore my entire Achilles’ tendon the day after Valentine’s Day, it retracted up my leg and then they had to cut me open, fish around for it and then pull it down and re attach it to itself and now I’m walking around with no crutches or boot…I’m also fucking super human and stuff but come on, you can do better
Our lucky children? I hate to be the bearer of bad news here but our generation is pretty much the last one that will successfully reproduce. Our children will have the very very bright future of a nuclear explosion/war that will not only decimate the global population but it will change the climate patterns due to all the smoke, debris, and radiation that gets pushed up into the atmosphere and then gets distributed around the planet from the jet stream. Instead of worry about a couple of action figures such as professional basketball players or the POTUS, you should probably start thinking about how you’re going to survive and how you’re going to feed yourself. Keep in mind that if you resort to cannabalism, the caloric intake of one grown ass human is only enough meat to last you 2 weeks. If you do the math, you’ll have to kill about 26 grown ass humans per year in order to keep yourself alive (think of your hi-weekly pay check in terms of time scale), let alone your children. Maybe use your internet time more wisely and start searching for a solution or maybe a way out. Don’t listen to Alex Jones though, that guy is a bit bag piece of shit. Aaron Hernandez found a way out this morning but you can’t talk to him because he’s fucking dead…-_(“/)_/-
You sort of look like these dudes, Duda. Maybe you should go for your Master’s at Harvard. Since I’m already in the area and in the mobile app space, we could potentially join forces and become titans of industry. Then we can hire Employed and Depressed and make a reality show about your interactions with each other in real life
Might have to call the Texas Law Hawk since my company hasn’t paid me in a month. Might just Venmo request the VP for what I’m owed and write a cystic message with a bunch of middle finger emojis and upside down smiley faces because we all know that’s the new form of communication and expression. Gonna go get a nitro brew and then probably leave because this is America and you can literally do whatever the fuck you want.
That baby looks older than I do. He probably filed his taxes, took his elderly wife out to dinner and finished writing his will before plopping himself out of that vagina.
The entire state of Nebraska. It’s very flat so your line of sight along the rail is almost infinite if you take the correalous effect into effect, plus it will be helping out a defeated state’s economy
I’m trying to get funding for my artisanal concept eatery called Third World Country where everybody has food and water on their tables when they walk in and then the staff takes it and locks the doors. The everyone begins to starve. Meanwhile, everything is videotaped and linked to local police stations in case anyone tries to do something crazy then the staff throw in little morsels amongst the chaotic crowd to hold people over and also start divisional/secular tribal wars that combat with each other over resources. It’s really hard to get funding right now…
To the guy who moved in with his gf: You can always commit murder. I mean, technically it’s only murder if you get caught. Find yourself a solid alibi that puts you away from the situation. (Look at OJ fucking Simpson). Since you make dumb decisions to begin with, it doesn’t look like you’d hire an assassin so at least you have that going for you since there would be no paper trail of communication. Next, you’ll need a suspect for your crime. I’m sure if you look through her phone there would be plenty of other dudes that’s she’s been secretly talking to that could take the heat for you. All you have to do is create a situation where jealousy becomes the motive. All of this can be seen on the Investigation Discovery Channel. Then you move to Guam or something and hang out for awhile…..Jesus that was darkkkkk. But seriously though, just talk it out with her you pussy.
Like the hipsters who put on for PBR, Duda is doing the same for the Lobe Ultras except he is in a class all his own. An army of 1, if you will but he’s starting a movement. I also believe he meticulously reads through the comment section of every article and down votes my sermons because I’m gaining ground within the underground like the Satanic Occult lol
Back in the day all these things were called “life”. Now everything is given a dumb label just to become a segmented datapoint for an analytics report. We’ve guinea-pig’d ourselves and the scientists are each other. Also, hell yeah I’m gonna dump my money on experiences now because what type of world do you think you’re going to retire into? Most of us straight up won’t retire so live for now and like die at 55 so you don’t have to worry about all the shitty things on the back end. You’ve already crapped yourself when you were a baby, no use in repeating that cycle at 85 in an overpriced, college-dorm like place where people are learning that they missed out on a lot of good things while growing up because they believed bullshit for so long
I myself am looking to buy a weapon. Thinking about buying one of those construction pipes made to look like a SAM launcher that them North Koreans have. There’s a Korean kid at my work, he seems sneaky and probably knows how to get one
Advertise
The Pre-Grad Problems blog can be found at Toys-R-Us.com. Also, don’t do drugs just yet, wait until life has completely numbed you out of feeling alive. Don’t worry, soon enough you’ll be completely dead inside like most other adults. Oh, and I will take you to the fucking cleaners in lacrosse, dude. I’ll behind the back split dodge the shit out of you and break your ankles then get top side and score BTB just because I can. Once my Achilles attached itself to itself fully, you’re done. And being your dad with you so my dad can kick the shit out of him too
An even better method of finding love is to create a really elaborate and mystical story and then spread it everywhere you go until enough ppl catch on to the point where you can buy a house looking building for everyone to hang out in and then you all dress in funny clothes and don’t forget about the even funnier hat and for some weird reason more and more people who love you show up and then you don’t have to pay taxes and to hold everyone over you just give them some shitty cracker thing and some juice or wine and then when you die ppl will love you forever as opposed to going to your funeral for like 10 minutes then forgetting about you completely
This….lol
I tore my entire Achilles’ tendon the day after Valentine’s Day, it retracted up my leg and then they had to cut me open, fish around for it and then pull it down and re attach it to itself and now I’m walking around with no crutches or boot…I’m also fucking super human and stuff but come on, you can do better
That is a really good valuation in my book.
Our lucky children? I hate to be the bearer of bad news here but our generation is pretty much the last one that will successfully reproduce. Our children will have the very very bright future of a nuclear explosion/war that will not only decimate the global population but it will change the climate patterns due to all the smoke, debris, and radiation that gets pushed up into the atmosphere and then gets distributed around the planet from the jet stream. Instead of worry about a couple of action figures such as professional basketball players or the POTUS, you should probably start thinking about how you’re going to survive and how you’re going to feed yourself. Keep in mind that if you resort to cannabalism, the caloric intake of one grown ass human is only enough meat to last you 2 weeks. If you do the math, you’ll have to kill about 26 grown ass humans per year in order to keep yourself alive (think of your hi-weekly pay check in terms of time scale), let alone your children. Maybe use your internet time more wisely and start searching for a solution or maybe a way out. Don’t listen to Alex Jones though, that guy is a bit bag piece of shit. Aaron Hernandez found a way out this morning but you can’t talk to him because he’s fucking dead…-_(“/)_/-
You sort of look like these dudes, Duda. Maybe you should go for your Master’s at Harvard. Since I’m already in the area and in the mobile app space, we could potentially join forces and become titans of industry. Then we can hire Employed and Depressed and make a reality show about your interactions with each other in real life
Cryptic*
Might have to call the Texas Law Hawk since my company hasn’t paid me in a month. Might just Venmo request the VP for what I’m owed and write a cystic message with a bunch of middle finger emojis and upside down smiley faces because we all know that’s the new form of communication and expression. Gonna go get a nitro brew and then probably leave because this is America and you can literally do whatever the fuck you want.
That baby looks older than I do. He probably filed his taxes, took his elderly wife out to dinner and finished writing his will before plopping himself out of that vagina.
The entire state of Nebraska. It’s very flat so your line of sight along the rail is almost infinite if you take the correalous effect into effect, plus it will be helping out a defeated state’s economy
I’m trying to get funding for my artisanal concept eatery called Third World Country where everybody has food and water on their tables when they walk in and then the staff takes it and locks the doors. The everyone begins to starve. Meanwhile, everything is videotaped and linked to local police stations in case anyone tries to do something crazy then the staff throw in little morsels amongst the chaotic crowd to hold people over and also start divisional/secular tribal wars that combat with each other over resources. It’s really hard to get funding right now…
It’s a primal instinct. If there’s anything that humans are good at, it’s killing things….especially vibes and such
To the guy who moved in with his gf: You can always commit murder. I mean, technically it’s only murder if you get caught. Find yourself a solid alibi that puts you away from the situation. (Look at OJ fucking Simpson). Since you make dumb decisions to begin with, it doesn’t look like you’d hire an assassin so at least you have that going for you since there would be no paper trail of communication. Next, you’ll need a suspect for your crime. I’m sure if you look through her phone there would be plenty of other dudes that’s she’s been secretly talking to that could take the heat for you. All you have to do is create a situation where jealousy becomes the motive. All of this can be seen on the Investigation Discovery Channel. Then you move to Guam or something and hang out for awhile…..Jesus that was darkkkkk. But seriously though, just talk it out with her you pussy.
Maybe you have to look deep within yourself and not blame other people for your problems/short comings?
Like the hipsters who put on for PBR, Duda is doing the same for the Lobe Ultras except he is in a class all his own. An army of 1, if you will but he’s starting a movement. I also believe he meticulously reads through the comment section of every article and down votes my sermons because I’m gaining ground within the underground like the Satanic Occult lol
Back in the day all these things were called “life”. Now everything is given a dumb label just to become a segmented datapoint for an analytics report. We’ve guinea-pig’d ourselves and the scientists are each other. Also, hell yeah I’m gonna dump my money on experiences now because what type of world do you think you’re going to retire into? Most of us straight up won’t retire so live for now and like die at 55 so you don’t have to worry about all the shitty things on the back end. You’ve already crapped yourself when you were a baby, no use in repeating that cycle at 85 in an overpriced, college-dorm like place where people are learning that they missed out on a lot of good things while growing up because they believed bullshit for so long
I myself am looking to buy a weapon. Thinking about buying one of those construction pipes made to look like a SAM launcher that them North Koreans have. There’s a Korean kid at my work, he seems sneaky and probably knows how to get one
He’s choosing me for sure. He’d be stupid not to.
Fuck yeah dude. Happy birthday from the future!