I missed the boat on Tinder, but I can still live vicariously through the young misfits I work with that keep me in the loop. I’m no expert, but I feel comfortable making the statement that there are a ton of verified lunatics out there in the dating app game. This gold via Reddit just proved my theory.
My buddy isn’t the smartest man. He picked a chick up and drove to a motel. They were walking into the room and she says, “oh shit, I forgot my purse in the car do you mind if I go grab it?” He says, “yeah that’s fine,” and tosses her the keys. 5 minutes later he walks outside wondering where she is and his car is gone.
Oh, man. You can’t even be mad at that because you’ve got to respect the hustle. Keep your guard up.
Got a Tinder notification on my phone…realized I don’t have Tinder and was holding my girlfriends phone.
That’s on her for flying fast and loose. Leaving the notifications on was just reckless. She probably wanted to get caught.
The only Tinder date I went on, the woman told me her goal was to get pregnant in the next few months. I noped right out of there.
She’s a straight shooter, and for that, she should be commended.
Showed up to the restaurant, waited about 30 minutes. Ordered myself some food and was about to leave when he texted me: “there’s a liquor store across the street from the restaurant, can you pick me up 2 six packs?”
I told him I wouldn’t. He says he’s decided to play frisbee with his dog instead. Deleted app, went to liquor store, picked up wine and went home.
He texted me for a month or so after to tell me he’s just bought tickets to see me dance (I’m a retired ballerina, haven’t been in anything for a few years). Then he texts me an hour after and tells me how great I was on stage. I never responded.
Dating is too confusing. I’m all done.
This dude actually sounds pretty awesome. “Grab us each a sixer. I’m tossing the friz with my rescue.” That’s how I imagine the conversation went. He has his priorities straight.
I started talking to this really sweet guy for about two weeks and things were going well. Then I started getting calls from this girl, who he claimed was his crazy roommate that was in love with him and kept trying to get him fired from jobs. Turns out, she wasn’t the one lying, she was actually his live-in girlfriend, and they had moved here together from a different state. Apparently he wasn’t actually a citizen, and was trying to obtain papers. Thanks, Tinder.
Did he technically lie about anything though? Sounds like he told the truth. What a cock block.
tinder date with a “famous” chef where I was taken to a dive bar, where he promptly starting talking about how famous he was. We drank and watched sports, he proceeded to tell me “You’re cute” and this eventually went to “I am going to make you bleed.” He then invited one of his friends to come along. I went outside and he came up to kiss me. I was drunk, so I kissed back. Eventually he proceeded to tell me how he was “being charged with battering his ex-girlfriend, but he totally didn’t do it.”
Eventually when it came time to pay the bill, “he lost his wallet.” Of course, I get stuck with it. “I’ll pay you back.”. (Needless to say I never got a payment).
Then he leaned up against me. I thought he was trying to kiss me again, but I looked down, and he was peeing on me. In the street. Peeing. On. Me.
I swiftly, being too inebriated to drive, went and got myself a hotel room and a hot shower.
I’ve known some bedwetters, but I have to admit the standup leg wet is completely new to me. Probably should have rolled out after the criminal charges thing. You live and you learn.
Matched a guy and did the usual add on snapchat to make sure he’s real. We hit it off but every time I invite him over he has an excuse. Almost a month into this naughty snaps and no hangs I’m like ok bye, and he says he’ll come over the next day. We meet, drink, drink, drink. Hook up…he’s too drunk to stay hard. I kind of throw up going down on him. We’re both embarrassing. We try again the next day. Great success. Start hanging out every 2-3 days. We’re talking constantly when we aren’t together and starting to like each other. Every time we’re together we’re laughing and happy. He plays guitar and sings and I totally love it. We play jeopardy and shots and ladders. He’s not from my state and its known he has to go home in a couple weeks to see family, go on vacation, and then he’ll move back permanently. We’re in tears as weeks pass and its his last week. I give him a sappy card, he gives me a card and flowers and his tshirt and guitar pik. He sings me a song about me and my cat. He’s still texting me at the airport and when he’s home. We’re still sending “adult snapchats.” Daily. More or less the vibe was that he was going to be my boyfriend when he got back. 2 weeks gone and he’s on his vacation in Hawaii. Showing me the hotel and volcanos and selfies and dick pics. Keep talking about how we miss each other. Red flag-he’s ending his vacation early because his dad had a stroke Red flag-he’s been at the hospital and has bad phone service I get suspicious after this and Google his family. I find his brothers Instagram and the second picture is of his brother and my tinder boy in suits captioned “happy 2 weeks of marriage to this guy” He got married and went on his honey moon Golf clap
Golf clap indeed. At that point, are you even mad? Feel like you just tip your cap to the guy and go on about your business.
Went on a date with a girl who had already told her whole family about me, before we even met. And she wanted me to meet them in person on the first date.
Pull the cord. Deploy the parachute. Jump out of the window with one of those human flying squirrel suits. Base jump. Just go.
Met a girl at her work at like, a moment’s notice (She was a waitress and there was literally nobody else in the entire place). We talked for a few hours, then another dude shows up… To meet her. From tinder.
She would later blog about the experience and describe me as “dull and unattractive”.
Did she write for us? Name names..
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