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I know what you’re thinking. “Long distance sucks. Why would I ever want to date someone who lives hundreds of miles away?” Sure, it might get annoying when you actually have to make a significant amount of effort to see the human you’re in lust with. Sometimes it’s a bummer if you’re constantly spending cold hard cash on plane tickets. However, it’s not all bad! I promise there are not only ways to make it work, but also ways to make it better than a “normal” relationship.
1. You constantly get to take mini vacations.
Who wouldn’t want to take a vacay every now and then? You get to escape your little bubble of a city you live in, leave your weird roommates and forget completely about work because you’re not even in close proximity to it. Oh, you didn’t have time to do the dishes before you left? Out of sight, out of mind. Didn’t feel like doing laundry? Don’t worry about it. You’re on vacation now. Also, Rapid Rewards.
2. You can watch whatever you want on TV. All. The. Time.
I literally mean “all the time.” Let me explain. When you’re not with your significant other, of course you can watch whatever you want. Sports, rom-coms, trashy reality shows, anything you want. When you’re actually with your boyfriend/girlfriend/fuck buddy, chances are you will be spending so much time in the bedroom that watching your favorite show will be the last thing on your mind. If you happen to turn on the boob tube while you’re with them, neither of you will care what you watch because you’ll both be so insanely stoked to actually be around each other.
3. You get to explore a new/different city.
If you’re smart, you paid attention to how cool of a city your significant other lives in and chose to continue dating because their city is SICK. But if you couldn’t escape the power of love and dated them even though they live in the middle of nowhere, it’ll be okay. Every city has something cool to offer and before you know it, you might be just as excited to be in a different place as you are to see your better half. Unless they truly live in a horrible meth town… then you should maybe rethink your decision.
4. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
This often-uttered statement could not be more of a fact. It sounds sad to be away from your partner in crime, but when you do get to see each other, it is literally fireworks. Not to get too cheesy, but your cheeks will hurt from smiling, hand holding becomes amazing again, puppies and kittens flock to you, rainbows pop up all over the sky, your Dad calls and tells you he and mom are getting back together… magic happens.
5. You will morph into the most organized person on the planet.
If you want to have a successful long distance relationship, you’re going to need to plan. A lot. If you don’t have trips to look forward to or a set schedule of when you see each other, things will be pretty difficult. But considering you love this person, you’ll make time for them. You are now the king/queen of scheduling. You become a calendar artist, with the ability to artfully plan around friend’s birthdays, work events, family gatherings or any other plans you have. This newly acquired organization skill can help you in other aspects of life too. Slap that shit on your resume!
6. You rarely have to groom yourself.
Too lazy to shower for a few days? Fine. Don’t feel like shaving your legs? It seriously doesn’t matter. You can even make it into a game and see how long you can go without shaving your entire body! After all, you’re not getting laid.
7. You learn how to use technology in ways you never knew possible.
Skype, Snapchat, texting, Facetime, Instagram Direct (do people really use that over Snapchat?). What do all of these have in common? Sexting. When you’re doin’ long distance, you will turn into the sneakiest and most creative sexter in the world. Sexting at work, sexting under your desk at work, sexting in the bathroom at work, in the janitor’s closet, in the office kitchen. The possibilities are endless and you get to learn so many new, fun things about technology!
8. You can basically do whatever you want.
The truth is, you’ll most likely be spending more time with yourself than with your bf/gf. Take advantage of it! Do all the shit you have ever wanted to do in life. Go to a workout class every night because you’re not cooking dinner for two. Get the pet you’ve always wanted because you need a little extra lovin’ when you’re alone. Spend a ton of time with your single friends because you’re still kind of halfway in the single club. Just don’t cheat. Do whatever you want… except cheat.
Respond
KPrince
A recent grad and contributing writer for PGP, Kelsey spends her days in an office cubicle, and her nights either snookin' for love at the local watering hole or watching TV with her cat in her downtown apartment. She still has no idea what she's doing with her life.
@KPrinceeee
Absence makes the heart grow fonder…of blowjobs from those who are nearer.
All of these things are just thinly veiled cons rather than solid pros.
Shhhh no one has to know.
… Acknowledging that this is poorly thought out is less “endearing” and more “annoying.”
“Sarcasm”
This could be easily read as why being single is fun, too.
The only way distance works is if A.) there was a solid relationship prior to the distance and B.) There is an end to the distance. At some point it has to end. Otherwise, just avoid it.
As long as the zip code rule is legit.
long distance is the wrong distance
Kudos to those who can make a long distance relationship work. But I will never partake in one, ever.
No. Just No.
What she really meant…
1. You constantly spend a shit ton on gas.
2. You can watch waste all the time you want not going out!
3. You get to explore your old college town!
4. Absence makes you finish faster
5. Your apartment will morph into a college dorm, no need to clean you aint bringing anyone new home
6. You’re hygiene and attire can match your apartment
7. You learn new pornsites with all your spare time
8. You can basically do whatever you want so long as she doesn’t get a crazy idea…good thing you’re staying in to watch porn!
I strive to make my life less stressful. No thank you ma’am