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Yesterday was Avril Lavigne’s 33rd birthday. Actually, let me rephrase that: yesterday is what would’ve been Avril Lavigne’s 33rd birthday had she not tragically died in 2003 after releasing her debut album, “Let Go” featuring such songs as “Sk8r Boi” and “Complicated.” I know, I know, this may come as a shock to you all, but it’s the hard truth the mainstream media has been trying to keep from you for over a decade.
I’m not a big conspiracy guy myself. I leave that to Twitter. But I’ll say this: Avril Lavigne is dead and has been replaced with a clone who is nothing like the girl we came to know and love.
Before you hear me out, just know that I’ve been trying to explain this to the general public for longer than I’d like to admit. It first began in December of 2016.
It’s quite possibly the most woke I have ever been on Twitter. But no one really seemed to care. I then tried to reignite the fire in May.
But it was only yesterday that the movement started to pick up.
I began by asking an FBI Intern if she could confirm whether or not Avril Lavigne was replaced after her death. I intentionally did not include the “or deny” verbiage because I’m tired of giving these people an out.
I then took my final stand by using the new 280-character limit on Twitter to my advantage. Because as I’ve said before: if I can educate just one person, I’ve done my job. This is me doing my job.
I can only assume that this tweet got so much play because of the superb job Marty Crane did acting out the exact reaction I had. This makes sense as Marty Crane is a phenomenal father and actor. Frasier is also the undisputed best television show in the history of television, so this all adds up to a great case for why Avril died.
“But Will,” you ask as I drone on and embed my tweets, “Give us some hard proof; some facts.” You want facts? I got your facts right here.
Exhibit A: Her Voice
Please watch this 10-minute video by noted YouTube account “Vid Ex.” The title of the video is simply, “REAL AVRIL LAVIGNE VS FAKE AVRIL LAVIGNE (AVRIL IS NOT DEAD ! read description 4info),” but please ignore that. Vid Ex knows that they’ll come for him too if he doesn’t claim that she’s not actually dead. The evidence in the content of the video speaks volumes.
I’m sure you paused this numerous times to digest this news as it is quite jarring. The voice and pitch difference between 2003 Avril (the actual Avril) versus 2005 Avril (“Melissa,” as we’ll call her – more on that in a bit) is undeniable. It simply makes no sense that Avril would just completely change the pitch of both her conversational and singing voices when she had so much success in 2003.
Exhibit B: Her Appearance
Obviously, this entire charade would end if Avril and Melissa looked nothing alike. It only makes sense that they could continue this ruse with two seemingly identical twins, or in this case, complete and utter doppelgangers.
Again, a video from Vid Ex who has become the authority on all things Avril versus Melissa. If you’re at work, I urge you to watch this video on mute rather than glancing over it, much like the entire world has glanced over her death in the first place.
You can simply make the case that she had surgery. It’s standard protocol that celebrities get plastic surgery to remain youthful in a desperate attempt to appear “perfect.” But there’s more.
Again, please do not glance over this because you can’t listen to this video. There is no audio and contains damning evidence without needing to listen to anything.
You can change your nose and brow line, but you can’t change the shape of your head and your height in such a short span of time. As Vid Ex notes, “The double look way more younger than the real avril.” He’s not wrong. But again, the concerns are not in her features but in the structure of Avril and Melissa’s bodies. She’s not only greatly shorter, but less voluptuous in her features with a much rounder head and smaller torso – all mindblowing revelations.
The fact that they’ve strung Sum 41’s Deryck along for the ride? Downright disgusting. Unrelated, but possibly related, Deryck was hospitalized for alcoholism on May 17, 2014, something not to take lightly when you consider the type of information he’s been forced to suppress.
This video ends with Vid Ex claiming the following:
I believe that it is normal for celebrity to stand in / doubles in Hollywood.
but i disagree with the melissa vandella theory
Avril is not dead , the double exist and they are working together since the third album till now .
what do you think ?
Which brings us to our next piece of evidence.
Exhibit C: The Melissa Vandella Theory
Hold onto your butts.
128,000 retweets. That’s the stuff viral tweets are made of. But don’t let the numbers convince you. Let the proof.
This is important, especially given the following information from Noisey, a website owned by Vice:
Let Go is a difficult album to follow-up. But try this: Shortly after writing sessions began on Avril Ramona Lavigne’s follow-up record, her Grandfather passed away. During this time, submerged under the pressure of releasing a new record, the toil of fame, and this new loss, Avril Lavigne entered a deep and dark depression. She would later be found dead at her home and her family, record label, and anyone else in the know kept quiet.
The rumors are all over the map, but it’s generally accepted that she took this news hard. Real hard. It was alleged that she would often break down crying while recording and in interviews, and eventually hung herself.
This is when her friend, Melissa Vandella, stepped in and replaced Avril forever. But despite Melissa recording albums, performing live, gallavanting around with Sum 41 Derryck, and generally just being Avril, some things were amiss.
Once this tweet went certified viral, that’s when more began to flood the internet.
Ball is in your court, America. Which side of history do you want to be on? Avril’s, or Melissa’s? .
Featured Image via YouTube
At first I was convinced this was a lazy, low-effort way to try to shamelessly promote your Twitter account. Then I read it, and I now believe this was the most work anyone has ever put into shamelessly promoting their Twitter account.
You beat me to it. I was going to say “That was a lot of work just to let us know you have extra Twitter characters.”
Took 1,400 words to get my point across – that I have the ability to tweet 280 characters at a time.
You absolutely nailed it (Also, I’m a firm believer now)
why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?
“I’m sorry, the old Avril can’t come to the phone right now”
“Why?”
“Oh, ’cause she’s dead!”
Will, look what you made her do.
The CIA does this a lot. Teens in angst needed to be kept docile and apathetic via relatable punk rock….Could also be a Reptilian shapeshifter who is connected with the Illuminati in order to brainwash the masses and get them while they are young. It’s a psy-ops tactic just like everything else in this augmented reality
à la Alex Jones
Your comments are annoying…. just saying what everyone is thinking
Thanks for taking the time to tell me that. Literally no one else is thinking that but good effort
Does this mean Conspiracy Thursday has been revived? I welcome its glorious return if it has.
Can I have your drugs?
Honestly I’d rather use Nived’s drugs.
I think conspiracy theory Will is my favorite Will
Well, I’m convinced. I’ll tell you what, new Avril (Melissa) is certainly more attractive so I’m all in on old Avril being dead. Thank you for your service, Will.
Can resident Conspiracy theorist Brian McGannon aka BriGuy confirm this one?
Everyone knows that Avril Lavigne heaters can’t melt steel beams tho