Inside sales at a small company you've never heard of. When I'm not on PGP, you can usually find me having a panic attack during a cold call or spilling coffee on my Tommy Bahama linen shirt. Sometimes I'm funny, but most of the time I'm just a dick.
So you hate America. Good job, you continue to alienate Grandex’s customer base in either a sad attempt at satire or, more likely, just plain ignorance.
Reading this brought a tear to my eye. A homeless man who doesn’t want a hot shower, a warm bed, or a Subway sandwich that wasn’t fished out of the dumpster. All he wants is for you to fire a mediocre writer. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? Where is your compassion, PGP?
Even the most quiet or self conscious people will shout the “BUM BUM BUMMMMMM” in Sweet Carolina. Great list, the only thing I would say is missing is “Build Me Up Buttercup.” Everyone hates themselves for singing along but they can’t help it.
When they said “help yourself,” I doubt they meant “help yourself to 6 vodka tonics and a 16 ounce t-bone every night we’re gone.” I can’t imagine they’re ever going to let you house sit again after this.
Cows were brought to Mexico by Europeans. Ground beef was invented by white people. There’s nothing fucking traditional about ground beef in a burrito.
The public bathrooms in France are pretty bad (and they might charge you for using them), but French people are by far the worst part of France.
So you hate America. Good job, you continue to alienate Grandex’s customer base in either a sad attempt at satire or, more likely, just plain ignorance.
Reading this brought a tear to my eye. A homeless man who doesn’t want a hot shower, a warm bed, or a Subway sandwich that wasn’t fished out of the dumpster. All he wants is for you to fire a mediocre writer. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? Where is your compassion, PGP?
Take the offer for Xanax, then ask for some codeine for that cough. Thank me later.
ZZZ Zones already exist. They’re called motels and they’re usually disgusting.
Even the most quiet or self conscious people will shout the “BUM BUM BUMMMMMM” in Sweet Carolina. Great list, the only thing I would say is missing is “Build Me Up Buttercup.” Everyone hates themselves for singing along but they can’t help it.
Tech Guy, you’ve been preparing for this moment your entire life. You know what to do.
Sit the next few out and think about what you just said.
When they said “help yourself,” I doubt they meant “help yourself to 6 vodka tonics and a 16 ounce t-bone every night we’re gone.” I can’t imagine they’re ever going to let you house sit again after this.
Amen. Why send emails when we could hear and judge everyone’s stories ourselves.
You really knocked this one out of the fucking park, Knox. But I never have to drink alone because I always have Johnnie Walker to hang out with.
The anticipation is killing me.
This guy should write for PGP.
Cows were brought to Mexico by Europeans. Ground beef was invented by white people. There’s nothing fucking traditional about ground beef in a burrito.
I want to try it but I always end up getting a Chicken & Steak Quesarito with guac. Nothing will ever beat that combo.
Why don’t you blow #12 a little harder? I am so sick of hearing about Tom Brady. When he and Peyton retire I’m going to dance in the fucking streets.
I hate Boston. If there is a God, the Colts will beat the Patriots on Sunday.
That’s just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.
“I can last for all of about 2 minutes with college girls.”
I think there’s a pill you can take for that.
You must be pretty new to this whole “alcoholic” thing, huh?