Blatantly streaming The Open during useless, company-mandated “training.” PGP.

My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

I’m not even pretending to work today. PGP.

Tore my left ACL in 2012. Tore my right one Sunday night playing indoor soccer. I’ll have two knee surgeries before I’m 25. I’m giving up on sports for good. PGP.

Got cutoff at the hotel bar again. PGP.

My boss just bought a car that’s worth more than twice my salary. PGP.

The funniest group text I’m currently in is with myself, my mom and my sister. PGP.

Calling “dibs” on the Master bedroom of the condo when traveling with your manager. PGPM.