My birthday treat was adding guac to my burrito that I’m eating alone at my desk. PGP.

The traditional Monday morning removal of the croakies. PGP.

“Hey Dad, I’m coming home today” “Why?” PGP.

She changed the Netflix password after we broke up. PGP.

Got drunk and hooked up with a chick in HR. What have I done? PGP.

The Google homepage wished me a happy birthday before any human did. PGP.

Brooks Brothers taste on a JoS. A. Bank budget. PGP.

The simple joy of taking your shoes off at your desk. PGP.

My parents bought a bar. They still charge me for drinks. PGP.

Going to the bathroom out of sheer boredom. PGP.