Here is my guide to dealing with hangovers.
Before bed look around your room to find your half full water bottle you left out. Now drink exactly 50% of the contents. Hopefully this was water and not vodka. Now make sure you change your alarm to something less abrasive (I set my weekend alarm to the theme song from M*A*S*H) and hit the sheets.
Okay in about 2 hours you should wake up and grab your trashcan, just bring it over near you for the peace of mind. Now you can go back to sleep.
Next, once you wake up for real, look to your right to find the hoodie and sunglasses you left out for this scenario. Equip those. Now go find that water bottle and crush whatever is left, remember not to trip over your trashcan.
Then head out to your kitchen (or wherever your keurig is). Get a nice cup coffee going and while you are waiting for the bean juice to finish, crush some emergen-c. Now that you are all juiced up its time to hit the couch. Find a blanket and fire up the PGP app to check out some fresh Duda articles!
I wouldn’t sweat it,
“Many popular customs associated with Christmas developed independently of the commemoration of Jesus’ birth, with certain elements having origins in pre-Christian festivals that were celebrated around the winter solstice by pagan populations who were later converted to Christianity” (Wikipedia, 2017, p. 1).
I think that facebook, tinder, etc have served to dehumanize everyone around us. Instead of thinking, we are shown the lives of others (not their real lives though), which leads to dissonance between the observed and reality. People have absurd expectations of what dating SHOULD be and get caught up in trying to find an experience they can blog about instead of a person to share their time with, which feeds back into itself as people are presented with (read the blog) and participate in “the game”.
Additionally, the ways people are finding each other seem very surface level. For example, how much do people think before they swipe? I’ll offer this. It’s been stuck in my head since I read it. Sonder: n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
Who knows maybe my constant existential crisis of a life has just made me a cynical and jaded old grouch who just wants to drink wine and watch peaky blinders.
*!~ I M O ~!*
Either way either this dude is gonna be hurt because your kissing dudes, or you are gonna be hurt because he’s cool with it. Maybe I just don’t “get” dating, but why not just stick with the good thing for a while and see how it pans out?
Then again its all just like, my opinion, man. I’m not trying to be overly critical here either, I just read stuff like this and get genuinely disheartened that people are so fast to move on to the next thing/throw a cool thing in the gutter.
Advertise
Help,
or alternatively, Help!
Project Controller would be a cool movie title
I wish it was socially acceptable to bring a deck of cards and play rummy or some shit.
Here is my guide to dealing with hangovers.
Before bed look around your room to find your half full water bottle you left out. Now drink exactly 50% of the contents. Hopefully this was water and not vodka. Now make sure you change your alarm to something less abrasive (I set my weekend alarm to the theme song from M*A*S*H) and hit the sheets.
Okay in about 2 hours you should wake up and grab your trashcan, just bring it over near you for the peace of mind. Now you can go back to sleep.
Next, once you wake up for real, look to your right to find the hoodie and sunglasses you left out for this scenario. Equip those. Now go find that water bottle and crush whatever is left, remember not to trip over your trashcan.
Then head out to your kitchen (or wherever your keurig is). Get a nice cup coffee going and while you are waiting for the bean juice to finish, crush some emergen-c. Now that you are all juiced up its time to hit the couch. Find a blanket and fire up the PGP app to check out some fresh Duda articles!
Seems like it would be a good story
I wouldn’t sweat it,
“Many popular customs associated with Christmas developed independently of the commemoration of Jesus’ birth, with certain elements having origins in pre-Christian festivals that were celebrated around the winter solstice by pagan populations who were later converted to Christianity” (Wikipedia, 2017, p. 1).
The Steamy Shower could apply to everything I do with a few words changed here and there.
Wait, really? I thought I did my research on this one.
Ok so if i have this right, Girl is friends with Jennie who is engaged to Ryan. And Girl, Bethany, and Jennie are all friends?
I want to be “Has a dog guy” and “Walks his dog guy”.
Good luck on achieving your guys this year!
Mad respect to Jennie for not wasting time. Made me completely forget my blind rage towards Bethany.
“what major are you”
Thanks Nick, now I have coffee all over my keyboard.
Flood – Earth Juice Spill.
Demand to know the current price of bitcoin. This will ensure a quick and educational conversation or preferably, no future interaction.
“Hi, how are you to-”
“WHAT IS BITCOIN AT RIGHT NOW!?!”
“I don’t, I… what? I’m-”
“THEN LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE AND LET ME GET MY PUMP ON!”
Problem solved!
Euthanasia is legal in California. If people want to die from those diseases that’s their right, right?
I don’t get it, how does one have “too much room” on a queen sized mattress?
Dating a Grandpa: The Introduction.
But seriously, this one warmed my cold dead heart. Thank you CMV!
I think that facebook, tinder, etc have served to dehumanize everyone around us. Instead of thinking, we are shown the lives of others (not their real lives though), which leads to dissonance between the observed and reality. People have absurd expectations of what dating SHOULD be and get caught up in trying to find an experience they can blog about instead of a person to share their time with, which feeds back into itself as people are presented with (read the blog) and participate in “the game”.
Additionally, the ways people are finding each other seem very surface level. For example, how much do people think before they swipe? I’ll offer this. It’s been stuck in my head since I read it. Sonder: n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
Who knows maybe my constant existential crisis of a life has just made me a cynical and jaded old grouch who just wants to drink wine and watch peaky blinders.
Would prefer, “(Topic Goes Here), lol.”
i feel like its more on brand
*!~ I M O ~!*
Either way either this dude is gonna be hurt because your kissing dudes, or you are gonna be hurt because he’s cool with it. Maybe I just don’t “get” dating, but why not just stick with the good thing for a while and see how it pans out?
Then again its all just like, my opinion, man. I’m not trying to be overly critical here either, I just read stuff like this and get genuinely disheartened that people are so fast to move on to the next thing/throw a cool thing in the gutter.
Good luck.
I think you missed a great opportunity to mention Die Hard which would score a perfect 11/11. Yippee ki yay.