I would always clean up my apartment, then ‘apologize for the mess’, when they got there. Makes them think you have it together and keep the place spotless, when in reality I’m total slob.
I actually agree with this take. I just turned 29 and am in a committed relationship. It would be a pain, sure, but nobody is going to judge us at this age (girlfriend is 27) and people that make WAY less than we do have kids all the time. Plus I know that even if we didn’t get married or something we would both have a hand in raising the kid.
Don’t get me wrong, I would still have some freak outs, but hell, I think no matter what age or stage of life Im in Im going to have freak outs over having a baby. It would be far from a “life ruiner” though.
The fact that the Boardy Barn girl had to call her dad for Father’s day after getting tag teamed by two nameless Long Island bros is the most terrifying thing I’ve heard in a while. Please God let me have sons…
I cant imagine the water bills these two are going to rack up from all the laundry they’ll have to do to keep the bedsheets free of bronzer and makeup stains…
Also, there’s a 100% chance a dude named Guido Wolff, from Amsterdam has Chlamydia. These two belong together.
They’ll get divorced after having two kids in the next three years. Guido Jr. will go to Hofstra for two years before being kicked out for selling molly. Their daughter, Regina (goes by Gina, they all go by Gina), will go to University of Maryland where she wont be accepted into any Sorority because nobody wants to keep hearing about how she can’t find a good bagel or slice outside of “The City”.
My Mom just added my girlfriend to our family group chat. The GF thinks it’s a major win for her in our relationship… now she’s stuck and has no clue what hell she’s in for.
Find someone who just got dumped. Might sound weird, but I got dumped a year ago and right afterwards what you described would’ve been my perfect scenario for a while. Get laid, have someone I CAN talk to, but not actually be tied down again right after getting out of a relationship.
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Yup. My dad was 40 when they had me, Im late 20’s now and he just had a heart attack. That’ll wake you up REAL quick. Kids earlier for sure.
Profile picture checks out on thinking that health insurance is free.
Gonna need you to let me in on the pillow recommendation. Im in the market.
I suffer from really bad sleep paralysis. Definitely sounds like it.
Need some cheese and meat in that bad boy.
I would always clean up my apartment, then ‘apologize for the mess’, when they got there. Makes them think you have it together and keep the place spotless, when in reality I’m total slob.
I actually agree with this take. I just turned 29 and am in a committed relationship. It would be a pain, sure, but nobody is going to judge us at this age (girlfriend is 27) and people that make WAY less than we do have kids all the time. Plus I know that even if we didn’t get married or something we would both have a hand in raising the kid.
Don’t get me wrong, I would still have some freak outs, but hell, I think no matter what age or stage of life Im in Im going to have freak outs over having a baby. It would be far from a “life ruiner” though.
That being said, still playing it safe…
If you’ve slept with three people at your place of employment, I think you’re already thought of as the office slut.
The fact that the Boardy Barn girl had to call her dad for Father’s day after getting tag teamed by two nameless Long Island bros is the most terrifying thing I’ve heard in a while. Please God let me have sons…
I cant imagine the water bills these two are going to rack up from all the laundry they’ll have to do to keep the bedsheets free of bronzer and makeup stains…
Also, there’s a 100% chance a dude named Guido Wolff, from Amsterdam has Chlamydia. These two belong together.
They’ll get divorced after having two kids in the next three years. Guido Jr. will go to Hofstra for two years before being kicked out for selling molly. Their daughter, Regina (goes by Gina, they all go by Gina), will go to University of Maryland where she wont be accepted into any Sorority because nobody wants to keep hearing about how she can’t find a good bagel or slice outside of “The City”.
I’m sure as shit not going to be the one telling my Mom and her they can’t. That’s just suicide.
My Mom just added my girlfriend to our family group chat. The GF thinks it’s a major win for her in our relationship… now she’s stuck and has no clue what hell she’s in for.
Ok, just dont judge the morning wood
Im going to need to find someone willing to be Patti Mayonnaise
Used to go with 30 rock until it got taken off Netflix
Find someone who just got dumped. Might sound weird, but I got dumped a year ago and right afterwards what you described would’ve been my perfect scenario for a while. Get laid, have someone I CAN talk to, but not actually be tied down again right after getting out of a relationship.
If for some reason you ever find yourself in Salina, KS, do your self a favor and stop in at the Cozy Inn for some Cozy Burgers
Had a wedding on fourth of July weekend last year. I think they belong on a terrorist watch list for it.
Name does not check out. No way in hell the GOAT ate turkey bacon.
I do something similar, but put some chorizo in.