Seeing grad day photos of the kids that were freshmen when you were a 5th year senior. PGP.

I’ve never had to actually prove I went to college. PGP.

I lost my favorite pen. In worse news, I have a favorite pen. PGP

Lying about having seen a YouTube video so you don’t have to stand there and watch it.

Fruit is fucking expensive. PGP.

Started upper-middle class now I’m poor. PGP.

Just swiped right because I saw granite counters and stainless steel. PGP.

All my friends are assholes, but I have no idea where you find new ones. PGP.

Too old to have roommates. Too poor to live alone. PGP.

Yesterday was my boss’s birthday and we ate at a Brazilian steakhouse on the company card. Today was my birthday and I ate a Wendy’s baconator alone in my car. PGP.