The last two girls I have been with have gotten engaged to the guy after me. PGP.

Tindering while cold calling. PGP.

Senior Associate brings her two kids to the office cause her nanny backed out. Meanwhile, I get sent to HR because I forgot to shave this morning. PGP.

Gmail automatically marks the newsletter from my liquor store as “important.” PGP.

I started drinking at lunch for fun. Now I do it out of necessity. PGP.

My alarm is set for 6:47AM because I NEED those extra two minutes of sleep. PGP.