Aspiring to be casually rich and office hot, while plugging away at an entry level job that promises a pension and good benefits because #compromise and idk maybe I’ll make enough to buy a fancy Japanese toilet.
I have a tendency to run away and/or move to foreign countries when life gets "too real" or I'm feeling restless. This has resulted in me being both single af and struggling to buy a studio apartment where my bed folds into a wall.
Champagne taste, sparkling water budget; so my 5 year plan is to marry money -and then ride out the alimony payments once he realizes what a nightmare I am.
1) Monday’s are hard enough, please wait till later in the week to throw this at me
2) Pam did support Jim. Jim had some communication issues (buying the house without telling her, taking the job without telling her) and made the transition harder. They both weren’t perfect, but Pam isn’t this terrible wet blanket everyone makes her out to be, she was stressed out.
3) Pam and Jim are #couplegoals. But I’ll give you Holly and Michael, they were great.
4) The real relationship goals I took from The Office is Mindy Kaling and BJ Novak.
My friend is hooking up with a boy significantly younger than us and apparently this is what the youth of today do. Kinda pisses me off, previous generations had no expectations of grooming let alone ass eating, and here we are in 2018 with our iPhones, avocado toast and the expectation of licking an actual asshole. Literally.
Personally I’d like to save that little move for when I’m married, everyone’s fresh outta the shower, AND in the dark (now matter how hot you are but-holes and arm pits will never be attractive) but I’m old fashioned I guess.
I cannot wait to be done with Craigslist roommates. I legit fantasize daily about kicking their asses out or significantly downgrading my space into tiny studio.
You had me sold till you mentioned the windows. If someone’s gonna see me being antisocial and not let me laze around like the piece of shit I am I’m saving my $30 and just putting in headphones.
I find a comfort in debating emojis and other stupid shit rather than confront the facts that my homeownership will likely be limited to a studio apartment, my car will be a fuel efficient kia that impresses no one and that I’ll die alone in an entry level-ish job that has decent hours and good benefits and promises to keep me just enough above the poverty line that I can afford dumbass millennial luxuries and the occasional trip abroad but not much else.
I’m team emoji. But you gotta use them correctly. My two best friends names are followed with: shark, spider, and girl facepalming because she let a tarantula loose in our place for a month, announced when I met her she has a fear of sharks and will dedicate her life to being a “shark slayer”. The other best friend has a graduate (she’s finished up her 3rd degree) a scotch glass (borderline alcoholic) chemist (see multiple degrees) and horse (she’s a crazy horse girl). I also put a potato beside my Irish roommates name.
Legit question: is it cruel to keep a dog in a crate? We only used ours like once when she was a puppy to go to the vet, otherwise it was just kept in the garage. Like I know people do this but I’ve always thought it was cruel. And also ugly looking. But I’ve never called out a friend and been like “why the fuck is your dog in jail?”. Seemed like bad etiquette.
I feel like I’ve spent a solid amount of time with a bit of a Freudian penis envy m mostly for the convenience of shorter lines, less frequent trips, and easier public urination while on road trips, but after this I’m now 100% satisfied with my lady parts and lack of urine mist in my life.
Yes, but I also have a feeling that you and your friends wouldn’t be friends with someone like girl. Co-MOH will be an absolute shit show with her group and I cannot wait for all the passive aggressive plays these girls make.
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living. the. dream.
1) Monday’s are hard enough, please wait till later in the week to throw this at me
2) Pam did support Jim. Jim had some communication issues (buying the house without telling her, taking the job without telling her) and made the transition harder. They both weren’t perfect, but Pam isn’t this terrible wet blanket everyone makes her out to be, she was stressed out.
3) Pam and Jim are #couplegoals. But I’ll give you Holly and Michael, they were great.
4) The real relationship goals I took from The Office is Mindy Kaling and BJ Novak.
Congrats on the sex #humblebrag
My friend is hooking up with a boy significantly younger than us and apparently this is what the youth of today do. Kinda pisses me off, previous generations had no expectations of grooming let alone ass eating, and here we are in 2018 with our iPhones, avocado toast and the expectation of licking an actual asshole. Literally.
Personally I’d like to save that little move for when I’m married, everyone’s fresh outta the shower, AND in the dark (now matter how hot you are but-holes and arm pits will never be attractive) but I’m old fashioned I guess.
Photo is a huge douche move but also throwing a “Sup?” at you Boston Max
I cannot wait to be done with Craigslist roommates. I legit fantasize daily about kicking their asses out or significantly downgrading my space into tiny studio.
Mindy Kaling is the GOAT congratulations on that like.
As a Canadian: ouch
You had me sold till you mentioned the windows. If someone’s gonna see me being antisocial and not let me laze around like the piece of shit I am I’m saving my $30 and just putting in headphones.
Oh scraping the bottom for sure. But those are the hills I choose to die on.
I remember being in dorms and relying on my landline extension. Cause texts were like 20 cents and on T9. Fuuuuuuck
I find a comfort in debating emojis and other stupid shit rather than confront the facts that my homeownership will likely be limited to a studio apartment, my car will be a fuel efficient kia that impresses no one and that I’ll die alone in an entry level-ish job that has decent hours and good benefits and promises to keep me just enough above the poverty line that I can afford dumbass millennial luxuries and the occasional trip abroad but not much else.
I’m team emoji. But you gotta use them correctly. My two best friends names are followed with: shark, spider, and girl facepalming because she let a tarantula loose in our place for a month, announced when I met her she has a fear of sharks and will dedicate her life to being a “shark slayer”. The other best friend has a graduate (she’s finished up her 3rd degree) a scotch glass (borderline alcoholic) chemist (see multiple degrees) and horse (she’s a crazy horse girl). I also put a potato beside my Irish roommates name.
Yea I thought this was MOH related but I pray to god she’s knocked up. With twins.
Legit question: is it cruel to keep a dog in a crate? We only used ours like once when she was a puppy to go to the vet, otherwise it was just kept in the garage. Like I know people do this but I’ve always thought it was cruel. And also ugly looking. But I’ve never called out a friend and been like “why the fuck is your dog in jail?”. Seemed like bad etiquette.
This is my favourite comment. Or at least top 5.
I feel like I’ve spent a solid amount of time with a bit of a Freudian penis envy m mostly for the convenience of shorter lines, less frequent trips, and easier public urination while on road trips, but after this I’m now 100% satisfied with my lady parts and lack of urine mist in my life.
Sup?
Yes, but I also have a feeling that you and your friends wouldn’t be friends with someone like girl. Co-MOH will be an absolute shit show with her group and I cannot wait for all the passive aggressive plays these girls make.
Girl’s move here made my blood boil. I would’ve crashed the god damn car into a pole.