The guy next to me quit so I switched my monitor for his bigger one. PGPM.

1: “Did you see my email?”2: “Yeah… Looking at it right now…” PGP

“You were such a loyal supporter of the fraternity as an undergrad, would you consider making a recurring donation now that you’re an alumni?”

My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

It’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I just don’t care….

Morning commute fender-benders. PGP.

Vacationing in your college town. #PGP

Telling yourself it’s almost the weekend on Wednesday. PGP.

My new office is about 90% women and 99% of them have boyfriends or husbands. PGP

The high I get when going rogue with my to-do list. PGP.