How about “looking for a girl to sex with for about 30 years before one of us gets cancer and dies or something. I’ll buy you stupid shiny objects that were cultivated out of the ground via slave labor under harsh conditions and are essentially worthless and you can make me lunch as I go to my dead end job everyday, slowly dying of heart disease because you keep forgetting to buy low fat American cheese and come back a little more dead inside each day until I refuse treatment for some retarded terminal illness that obviously already has a cure yet is withheld from the public because they make more money treating thin gas as opposed to curing them….love traveling in my own mind since I can’t afford to actually travel, and I love being happy :)”
Nothing beats a spoonful of peanut butter out of the jar and a bag of exhaled air that you previously breathed in as a side. Maybe some air popped popcorn and some water. Depends how full I get. I’m trying the new aushwitz diet because 2017 is looking bleak as fuck and I want to be ready for the illuminati conspiracy to manifest
I hate when you get in the box with a business client and all they want to talk about is business and I’m over here like dude literally none of this shit matters in the grand scheme of life, I don’t even like talking about work when I’m at work, do you really think I wanna talk about it while the game is on and I’m 3rd knuckle deep in a pile of buffalo chicken wings? GTFO with your analytics jargon. Last time I checked the numbers, we’re all gonna die and most of our time is spent doing shit we don’t want to to at all so I’m gonna enjoy this free game in a luxury box I can’t afford on the company time and get as drunk as humanly possible and eat as much free food as I can because my company doesn’t pay me enough to shop at whole foods and this box isn’t high enough to jump out of it and kill myself
I’m at #1 and getting paid below the median. Looks like I’ll be printing this article out and throwing it on my boss’s desk and demanding more money/asking for a 2 day work week because adult life is seriously fucking retarded.
I usually just talk to her as I do a fuck ton of pull ups and then kindly remind her that I could beat the fuck out of her boyfriend then I ask her on a date and then sex happens
“Hi, my name is Devin. I like stuff, I do stuff, dogs are cool, I’m good at using chop sticks, chicken pad Thai is my spirit animal. I’ve been told that I look like Brad Pitt’s character from the movie Snatch and I make passionate love to women (only)” – if I had Bumble
Oh, I ignore work emails even when I’m at work never mind when I’m not at work and I’m doing just fine in my career. People are missing the point, the older generation will soon die off so either way, there’s gonna be space that needs filling at the top and as long as you keep showing up and doing productive things, you’re gonna move up on a company. There’s a lot of dumb people in positions of power, just wait out the storm and then become an absolute Forrest fire when it’s your turn and burn corporate America to fucking hell!
I thought that’s like a common thing since HR are just castrating ppl left and right and offering a life of submission and oligarchical structure. If they used their imagination, it could be a box of sausages or hot dogs from Omaha Steaks. (Shameless plug)
That’s why you wear a metal mesh suit with a rubber lining under your clothes so that the taser current gets redirected back to the source, instantly incapacitating the small, frail, human before their instinctual karate skills can take over. Folks, that isn’t ignorant or racist. Everyone knows that every single Asian everywhere knows some form of karate. They are very very sneaky. Mr. Miagi proves this notion.
That’s right Mr. Garrison, most of what we’ve been told throughout our lives were lies. You know who else tried to abolish the Fed? JFK and we all know what happened to him. It all started with Abraham Lincoln who was against the consolidation of wealth and having a central bank control all currency and look what happened to him too. See a common theme?
Should have slept with a Navy SEAL except you’d probably never know because they’re so stealthy like ninjas in the night….or because your vagina is like huge from all the peni that have burrowed their way in there. I’m just kidding, I don’t know your life or your vagina dilation, I just had to say that because that’s what the people want on here. I’m a man of the people -_(“/)_/-
He’s probably stealing the Rothschild’s idea when the Titanic sank because every major player that was trying to blockade the establishment of the Federal Reserve was on that ship and then shortly after, the Fed was born. This boss might be planning to have the ship sink in order to protect the company bottom line. You can’t put anything past Corporate America anymore. Lol
Deal. Wait…did Jesus just join the Dark Side. Come Jesus, come to Satan we have really good music and lots of camp fires that you can stare into for hours with psychedelic thoughts running wild in your mind like wolves
I usually tell them that I discovered Vampire Weekend before they ever did and that I burned all their records because they are trash. That usually works because then then go home and shave their mustaches, take off the non-prescription glasses, put down the Ernest Hemingway book they actually don’t read and then they quit the coffee shop and go find a soulless corporate job because that’s what real adults do now
You could set up a Pagan ritual with a pentagram and have the question “will you marry me” written in the blood of the first newborn calf sacrifice of the full moon winter solstice as George Michael’s music softly billows in the background. But wait until that smooth jazzy sax solo kicks in and then she’ll be so fucking damp and willing to subject herself to a life of sameness and formulaic nightly dinner questions in no time.
Advertise
To the real Robin S: I like honey turkey…baby girl :)….I can say this because I’m me so no one can say shit, alright!
Honey turkey all the way baby girl
How about “looking for a girl to sex with for about 30 years before one of us gets cancer and dies or something. I’ll buy you stupid shiny objects that were cultivated out of the ground via slave labor under harsh conditions and are essentially worthless and you can make me lunch as I go to my dead end job everyday, slowly dying of heart disease because you keep forgetting to buy low fat American cheese and come back a little more dead inside each day until I refuse treatment for some retarded terminal illness that obviously already has a cure yet is withheld from the public because they make more money treating thin gas as opposed to curing them….love traveling in my own mind since I can’t afford to actually travel, and I love being happy :)”
Nothing beats a spoonful of peanut butter out of the jar and a bag of exhaled air that you previously breathed in as a side. Maybe some air popped popcorn and some water. Depends how full I get. I’m trying the new aushwitz diet because 2017 is looking bleak as fuck and I want to be ready for the illuminati conspiracy to manifest
I hate when you get in the box with a business client and all they want to talk about is business and I’m over here like dude literally none of this shit matters in the grand scheme of life, I don’t even like talking about work when I’m at work, do you really think I wanna talk about it while the game is on and I’m 3rd knuckle deep in a pile of buffalo chicken wings? GTFO with your analytics jargon. Last time I checked the numbers, we’re all gonna die and most of our time is spent doing shit we don’t want to to at all so I’m gonna enjoy this free game in a luxury box I can’t afford on the company time and get as drunk as humanly possible and eat as much free food as I can because my company doesn’t pay me enough to shop at whole foods and this box isn’t high enough to jump out of it and kill myself
I’m at #1 and getting paid below the median. Looks like I’ll be printing this article out and throwing it on my boss’s desk and demanding more money/asking for a 2 day work week because adult life is seriously fucking retarded.
I usually just talk to her as I do a fuck ton of pull ups and then kindly remind her that I could beat the fuck out of her boyfriend then I ask her on a date and then sex happens
“Hi, my name is Devin. I like stuff, I do stuff, dogs are cool, I’m good at using chop sticks, chicken pad Thai is my spirit animal. I’ve been told that I look like Brad Pitt’s character from the movie Snatch and I make passionate love to women (only)” – if I had Bumble
Oh, I ignore work emails even when I’m at work never mind when I’m not at work and I’m doing just fine in my career. People are missing the point, the older generation will soon die off so either way, there’s gonna be space that needs filling at the top and as long as you keep showing up and doing productive things, you’re gonna move up on a company. There’s a lot of dumb people in positions of power, just wait out the storm and then become an absolute Forrest fire when it’s your turn and burn corporate America to fucking hell!
I thought that’s like a common thing since HR are just castrating ppl left and right and offering a life of submission and oligarchical structure. If they used their imagination, it could be a box of sausages or hot dogs from Omaha Steaks. (Shameless plug)
That’s why you wear a metal mesh suit with a rubber lining under your clothes so that the taser current gets redirected back to the source, instantly incapacitating the small, frail, human before their instinctual karate skills can take over. Folks, that isn’t ignorant or racist. Everyone knows that every single Asian everywhere knows some form of karate. They are very very sneaky. Mr. Miagi proves this notion.
He did it. Men are pigs and so are women. Everybody sucks. Good morning!
That’s right Mr. Garrison, most of what we’ve been told throughout our lives were lies. You know who else tried to abolish the Fed? JFK and we all know what happened to him. It all started with Abraham Lincoln who was against the consolidation of wealth and having a central bank control all currency and look what happened to him too. See a common theme?
Should have slept with a Navy SEAL except you’d probably never know because they’re so stealthy like ninjas in the night….or because your vagina is like huge from all the peni that have burrowed their way in there. I’m just kidding, I don’t know your life or your vagina dilation, I just had to say that because that’s what the people want on here. I’m a man of the people -_(“/)_/-
He’s probably stealing the Rothschild’s idea when the Titanic sank because every major player that was trying to blockade the establishment of the Federal Reserve was on that ship and then shortly after, the Fed was born. This boss might be planning to have the ship sink in order to protect the company bottom line. You can’t put anything past Corporate America anymore. Lol
Deal. Wait…did Jesus just join the Dark Side. Come Jesus, come to Satan we have really good music and lots of camp fires that you can stare into for hours with psychedelic thoughts running wild in your mind like wolves
I usually tell them that I discovered Vampire Weekend before they ever did and that I burned all their records because they are trash. That usually works because then then go home and shave their mustaches, take off the non-prescription glasses, put down the Ernest Hemingway book they actually don’t read and then they quit the coffee shop and go find a soulless corporate job because that’s what real adults do now
You could set up a Pagan ritual with a pentagram and have the question “will you marry me” written in the blood of the first newborn calf sacrifice of the full moon winter solstice as George Michael’s music softly billows in the background. But wait until that smooth jazzy sax solo kicks in and then she’ll be so fucking damp and willing to subject herself to a life of sameness and formulaic nightly dinner questions in no time.
Left overs are bomb
Hey, thanks Jesus!