I feel this is relevant, but I apologize if it’s condescending in this context.
I think you’ve unwittingly identified an actual issue with Gen Y, unlike most of our supposed shortcomings (which are actually the fault of the Baby Boomers): the dichotomy between casual sex and being tied down. Too many people love their romantic freedom, but don’t actually use it. The problem is the lack of guts to break off a relationship that isn’t terrible, but isn’t going anywhere, either.
#2 is a rough one for me. I have a long record of intentionally acting less confident than I should specifically because assholes are overly confident and I don’t want to come across as an asshole. Chicken and egg.
#3: In my experience, women are generally bad at discerning genuine ambition from pretentious self-aggrandizement. Thanks for touching on this.
About #4…there would be so much less to fear from rejection if it was handled both directly and gently. Instead, we get either passive-aggressive city until your friend kicks us in the nuts because it’s impossible to tell if you’re playing “hard to get” or want us to fuck off, or we get treated to an off-the-wall bitchfest because we’re not good enough for some reason.
This could be because I’m at two in four years and the spells were much longer. I’m not well acquainted with anyone who considers anything short of six months to be a “dry spell.”
Or maybe my experience with college is that sex 3-5 times a month with various partners isn’t typical…and sex with a girlfriend at any rate approaching every night is kind of ridiculous.
All damn day. I respect the mental fortitude to do a marathon much more than the physical ability. Lifting and playing sports that require sprinting may require a day to recover. Performing an activity that requires you to take around a week off exercising should tell you something about how that affects your body.
I got the “follow up with a phone call” advice from my parents. This might work approximately for approximately 1% of jobs. For the rest, following up on an application knowing full well that perhaps hundreds of prospects also applied merely confirms to the company that you are indeed the shallow douche portrayed in your cover letter.
I didn’t write this article, and I’m sorry if that’s the impression I got across. I also apologize to the real author.
I despise trust fund babies as much as the next person, but when I said “our parents,” I’m really referring to the generation ahead of us. They kind of fucked things up and then pretended as if everything was fine when we were about to graduate. Even the counselors at my school were totally confident we’d all get hired immediately.
I also realize that you have a point with STEM majors, but it’s doubletalk to go on a Liberal Arts tirade right after encouraging people to find something they love and stick with it. An awful lot of my friends are musicians and social workers.
I’m an engineer as well, but it took me a year after grad school to find anything. The brain drain isn’t happening in every industry quite yet, and even where it is, there are hiring freezes galore due to reduced government contracts and sequestration. I’m an aerospace engineer, so unfortunately my industry is almost entirely military-driven. Now I’m working a thousand miles from home in a backwater town doing things tangentially related to my education. Futhermore, without getting into detail, I accomplished FAR more in terms of real shit at the lab job I had during grad school and the year after at the university than I probably ever will working at my current company.
It’s pure fantasy to think that companies automatically value the heavy contributors. I probably won’t be recognized for anything I do for years, and that’s if I’m lucky. I work for a subsidiary of one of the largest corporations on the planet, so maybe it’s a problem with large numbers. The truth is that getting noticed is much more about luck and the person who actually notices you rather than anything you personally contribute. Letters like this get written because we’d rather not spend our 20s hating ourselves only for life to get marginally better. And we’re not cynically resigned to this “that’s just the way the world works” worldview. The main point is that millennials take a shitload of flak for being “lazy” and “entitled” when all we really want is to get as much out of our careers as we put in rather than do the equivalent of pour money down a well and hope it tosses something back.
As millennials, we have this idea that we’ll be gainfully employed right out of college because that’s what our parents assured us would happen from the time we started kindergarten.
I truly hate the idea of “paying dues.” I already did that in college. Companies and universities now use interns and student workers as cheap and/or free labor and feel no remorse when they demand that we flay ourselves alive for the elusive Holy Grail of “valuable experience.” Most of the time, it means jack shit because companies are getting so much more specialized and internally unique that hiring total outsiders is in decline. Have you seen a job description lately? Most of them describe skill sets possessed by people who don’t exist.
Making yourself invaluable helps, but oftentimes the higher-ups are so incompetent that they either don’t realize who’s worth a damn and who’s dead weight or they’re too lazy to do anything about it. Then when a project inevitably falls apart because one person leaves or retires and those in charge didn’t bother to ensure that body of knowledge was immortalized in document form or spread to younger workers (TRUE STORY, btw), the company takes a hit and employees are subjected to the cheerleading seminar where everyone except the culpable parties are passive-aggressively blamed.
In the present time, jobs are scarce, middle management is full of yes-men with little skill and upward mobility is laughably poor. My personal bitterness isn’t just about “paying dues,” because that implies a brighter future. An awful lot of us are just stuck in a rut where there is no happy tomorrow. That’s why imaginary letters like this get written.
I absolutely loathe the notion of “loyalty” to a company. This isn’t marrying into a family. You give me money and in return I do work that makes you more money than you give me. I did not take this job because I’m tearfully passionate about your product. I took this job so that I could climb on top of it and reach for that which I am passionate about.
I owe you nothing, chunk of corporate America, and fuck all you who would shame me for taking a less soul-sucking job in the future.
That may be your thing, but in my experience, there are far more women who will (read: have) treat me like a creep just for saying two words to them. So it’s best to play the odds and not feel like a chump unless interaction is entirely organic.
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That last one is just begging for a BORT joke.
“Horror?” I recommend removing the fifty layers of bubble wrap surrounding your bodies.
Also, am I the only one who finds sexual euphemisms inane and irritating?
More like new people will meet you.
https://pgparchive.wpengine.com/6-ways-to-actually-get-and-keep-a-boyfriend/
I feel this is relevant, but I apologize if it’s condescending in this context.
I think you’ve unwittingly identified an actual issue with Gen Y, unlike most of our supposed shortcomings (which are actually the fault of the Baby Boomers): the dichotomy between casual sex and being tied down. Too many people love their romantic freedom, but don’t actually use it. The problem is the lack of guts to break off a relationship that isn’t terrible, but isn’t going anywhere, either.
#2 is a rough one for me. I have a long record of intentionally acting less confident than I should specifically because assholes are overly confident and I don’t want to come across as an asshole. Chicken and egg.
#3: In my experience, women are generally bad at discerning genuine ambition from pretentious self-aggrandizement. Thanks for touching on this.
About #4…there would be so much less to fear from rejection if it was handled both directly and gently. Instead, we get either passive-aggressive city until your friend kicks us in the nuts because it’s impossible to tell if you’re playing “hard to get” or want us to fuck off, or we get treated to an off-the-wall bitchfest because we’re not good enough for some reason.
This could be because I’m at two in four years and the spells were much longer. I’m not well acquainted with anyone who considers anything short of six months to be a “dry spell.”
Or maybe my experience with college is that sex 3-5 times a month with various partners isn’t typical…and sex with a girlfriend at any rate approaching every night is kind of ridiculous.
Yeah, you and your self-pity can eat a bag of dicks. Humblebragging isn’t funny.
http://www.synergy-athletics.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/marathon-runner-vs-sprinter.jpg
All damn day. I respect the mental fortitude to do a marathon much more than the physical ability. Lifting and playing sports that require sprinting may require a day to recover. Performing an activity that requires you to take around a week off exercising should tell you something about how that affects your body.
It’s “across” hamburger-style. Not hot dog. And factor in simultaneous Canadian and Mexican invasions such that the borders recede.
I got the “follow up with a phone call” advice from my parents. This might work approximately for approximately 1% of jobs. For the rest, following up on an application knowing full well that perhaps hundreds of prospects also applied merely confirms to the company that you are indeed the shallow douche portrayed in your cover letter.
I didn’t write this article, and I’m sorry if that’s the impression I got across. I also apologize to the real author.
I despise trust fund babies as much as the next person, but when I said “our parents,” I’m really referring to the generation ahead of us. They kind of fucked things up and then pretended as if everything was fine when we were about to graduate. Even the counselors at my school were totally confident we’d all get hired immediately.
I also realize that you have a point with STEM majors, but it’s doubletalk to go on a Liberal Arts tirade right after encouraging people to find something they love and stick with it. An awful lot of my friends are musicians and social workers.
I’m an engineer as well, but it took me a year after grad school to find anything. The brain drain isn’t happening in every industry quite yet, and even where it is, there are hiring freezes galore due to reduced government contracts and sequestration. I’m an aerospace engineer, so unfortunately my industry is almost entirely military-driven. Now I’m working a thousand miles from home in a backwater town doing things tangentially related to my education. Futhermore, without getting into detail, I accomplished FAR more in terms of real shit at the lab job I had during grad school and the year after at the university than I probably ever will working at my current company.
It’s pure fantasy to think that companies automatically value the heavy contributors. I probably won’t be recognized for anything I do for years, and that’s if I’m lucky. I work for a subsidiary of one of the largest corporations on the planet, so maybe it’s a problem with large numbers. The truth is that getting noticed is much more about luck and the person who actually notices you rather than anything you personally contribute. Letters like this get written because we’d rather not spend our 20s hating ourselves only for life to get marginally better. And we’re not cynically resigned to this “that’s just the way the world works” worldview. The main point is that millennials take a shitload of flak for being “lazy” and “entitled” when all we really want is to get as much out of our careers as we put in rather than do the equivalent of pour money down a well and hope it tosses something back.
As millennials, we have this idea that we’ll be gainfully employed right out of college because that’s what our parents assured us would happen from the time we started kindergarten.
I truly hate the idea of “paying dues.” I already did that in college. Companies and universities now use interns and student workers as cheap and/or free labor and feel no remorse when they demand that we flay ourselves alive for the elusive Holy Grail of “valuable experience.” Most of the time, it means jack shit because companies are getting so much more specialized and internally unique that hiring total outsiders is in decline. Have you seen a job description lately? Most of them describe skill sets possessed by people who don’t exist.
Making yourself invaluable helps, but oftentimes the higher-ups are so incompetent that they either don’t realize who’s worth a damn and who’s dead weight or they’re too lazy to do anything about it. Then when a project inevitably falls apart because one person leaves or retires and those in charge didn’t bother to ensure that body of knowledge was immortalized in document form or spread to younger workers (TRUE STORY, btw), the company takes a hit and employees are subjected to the cheerleading seminar where everyone except the culpable parties are passive-aggressively blamed.
In the present time, jobs are scarce, middle management is full of yes-men with little skill and upward mobility is laughably poor. My personal bitterness isn’t just about “paying dues,” because that implies a brighter future. An awful lot of us are just stuck in a rut where there is no happy tomorrow. That’s why imaginary letters like this get written.
I’m a much bigger fan of the anti-heathen sentiment in the real world.
I absolutely loathe the notion of “loyalty” to a company. This isn’t marrying into a family. You give me money and in return I do work that makes you more money than you give me. I did not take this job because I’m tearfully passionate about your product. I took this job so that I could climb on top of it and reach for that which I am passionate about.
I owe you nothing, chunk of corporate America, and fuck all you who would shame me for taking a less soul-sucking job in the future.
That may be your thing, but in my experience, there are far more women who will (read: have) treat me like a creep just for saying two words to them. So it’s best to play the odds and not feel like a chump unless interaction is entirely organic.