Interviewed a guy who reminded me of myself. I did not hire him because I know how much of a piece of shit I am. PGP.

Frantically pressing the close door button in the elevator at the sound of approaching footsteps. PGP.

I threw my back out after going too hard at Mini-Golf. PGP.

I moved to the city to have a better social life. My exorbitant rent now makes that impossible. PGP.

Putting the toilet seat cover on while talking on the phone was by far the most productive thing I’ve done this month. PGP.

Someone asking “What did you get?” every single time you come back from lunch. PGP.

Ugh. PGP.

Feeling that you directly contributed to the 2.9% decrease in 2014’s first quarter GDP. PGP.

“Any plans for the 4th?” PGP.

I’m not driving the struggle bus. I’m not even riding the struggle bus. I just got run the fuck over by the struggle bus. PGP.