Nobody saw me leave for lunch; looks like I just bought myself 15 extra minutes.

Using a box of tissues as a napkin dispenser when eating at my desk.

Using “per my last email” twice before 9:30 a.m. on a Friday to create some momentum before the weekend.

Every time I hear the receptionist say “one moment, I’ll transfer you” I have a panic attack that my phone might be the one that’s about to ring.

“That’s not part of my job description.”