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I’m gonna get one thing out of the way really quick: My respect for the American newsmedia is at an all time low, specifically cable news. It’s trash. Absolute garbage. A cesspool of reactionaries and eight person panels trying to fix America’s problems in an eight-minute segment. It’s a travesty. Stop getting your news from them, or at least use the trust-but-verify system. Their goal is simple: keep you watching. They’ll say anything to make that happen. Tell me I’m wrong.
Alright, I got that off my chest. Regardless of your opinion on the current state of political affairs in the USA (which is still the best country in the world, I don’t care what you say), there has been a toxic villain at work behind the scenes. Something so mundane, so inconspicuous, that you probably don’t even notice it in the moment. It wears on you without you even knowing it. Slowly peeling away the layers of your humanity in the background of your life during your most stressful hours.
I’m talking about CNN being the default channel at every airport terminal in the United States.
Airports are stressful enough as it is. I don’t need Van Jones and Chris Cuomo screaming at me while I’m hauling my ass across an entire terminal during a 30 minute layover at Hartsfield. Traveling is exhausting enough, I don’t need the extra stress of a “TRUMP DOES OTHER DUMB THING” story echoing out in the background. Call me when you find the piss tape. Then we can talk.
Everything is so divisive in this country. Cable news has capitalized on that and it’s destroying us. I refuse to believe otherwise. We need a unifier. A common good. Something that everyone loves. Something pure.
We need to replace cable news airport feeds with HGTV and Food Network.
Everyone loves these networks. Everyone. You may have your preferred shows. Maybe you’re a Iron Chef person more than you are a Guy’s Grocery Games person. Perhaps you fancy Property Brothers over Fixer Upper. But guess what? An hour of House Hunters International marathon during your layover beats the hell out of an hour long segment about Jeff Sessions being kicked out of another restaurant. The stress of a never-ending weather delay would be easily lightened by the more enjoyable secondhand stress of a Chopped contestant trying to blanch spinach with less than two minutes left on the clock. The stakes are much lower there, but I care so much more than I do about a reality star trying to denuclearize a third world country.
We don’t need the news at the airport. I can get the news whenever I want. I don’t need it shoved down my throat while I’m throwing back a few Pacificos at Chili’s Too. Just give me something that’s easy to watch. Cable news is a constant barrage of all the things wrong with the country. It’s too much. I am willing to accept that there are things wrong, but in all honesty, I really don’t care that much. I shouldn’t care that much. No one should, no matter what that idiot Brian Stelter says.
I just can’t take it anymore. There’s only one brand of mindless television that I want to consume while I’m flying. Don’t even need the volume. Instead of having “GOP LEADERSHIP MAKES IMMIGRATION ILLEGAL” headlines thrown in my face, I want nice and easy information like “Purchase Price: $175,000, Renovations: $50,000, All-In Cost: $225,000, Instant Equity: $35,000.” That’s the kind of information I’m seeking.
This is the America I want to see, the America that we should all want to see. I don’t want that negativity. No, the kind of negativity I want is Scott Conant absolutely destroying a food truck owner for overcooking pasta. That’s the stuff. It’s not all that difficult.
Cable news is dying a slow death. It’s time to bring down the ax and rid our airports of this toxic drivel that does absolutely zero for the good of the public.
Jim Acosta, I’m sorry. But you’ve been chopped..
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