You think he actually writes these? Some marketing smoke show he’s probably banging definitely writes the crap on his twitter feed and texts him for a thumbs up.
I’ll also pack a fly rod and grab a fishing license at the border of some states. Nothing beats jumping out at several spots along the way for a beer/camping and drifting some line.
Nah man, depends how you approach it. Leave an extra day or two in there and camp off some backroads in the middle of nowhere. No cell reception so you’re just left with a cooler of beer, some cigars, and an unbeatable view.
Let me guess, your mom tells you to pound sand the next day because it’s time for you to grow up and take care of your own shit. She just low key blew you off at first to see if your desire to get a working phone outweighed jumping through parental permission hoops as a grown man to save a couple dollars.
1) Not in Texas, or anywhere else I’ve ever lived.
2) Either not lazy or trusting enough to research a service for some high school student to pick out cuts of meat and fish.
Old house a guy lived across the street, pretty redneck, heavily tattood and used to ride Harleys. We decided he was in witsec because he never worked or went anywhere and told us his name was “Crow.” The benefit of him working on some piece of shit truck outside 24/7 was that he was basically our “redneck security system.” A couple times a month he would stop by and say something like, “There was this feller in a hood lookin’ in your window, so I grabbed my tire iron and got his attention. Hope he shit himself. Have a good night.” Unfortunately he moved recently, now shit gets stolen that the neighbors are yuppies.
Or if you do have a mutual friend and it’s another single guy… “Hey, Tim, you know this Ashley Smith girl?” Yeah man, went on a first date with her last week, puts out. “Fuck you Tim, don’t talk about my future wife that way.” Typing to Ashley: 7pm Friday for drinks?
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Nothing against single girls with cats, but know this: the cat is going in the ground before we move in together.
Nah, girls should only date 6’2″ and taller.
My sister is a Blackhawk pilot. Daily snapchats without being able to go for a ride is probably the #1 reason I hate everything.
“Swipe right for a once in a lifetime opportunity to be disappointed by yours truly, success usually realized by the end of our first date.”
$10? iTunes? You’re asking a lot of me, buddy.
If Todd OJ’d her, I couldn’t put him away if I was on that jury.
You think he actually writes these? Some marketing smoke show he’s probably banging definitely writes the crap on his twitter feed and texts him for a thumbs up.
I’ll also pack a fly rod and grab a fishing license at the border of some states. Nothing beats jumping out at several spots along the way for a beer/camping and drifting some line.
Nah man, depends how you approach it. Leave an extra day or two in there and camp off some backroads in the middle of nowhere. No cell reception so you’re just left with a cooler of beer, some cigars, and an unbeatable view.
Let me guess, your mom tells you to pound sand the next day because it’s time for you to grow up and take care of your own shit. She just low key blew you off at first to see if your desire to get a working phone outweighed jumping through parental permission hoops as a grown man to save a couple dollars.
1) Not in Texas, or anywhere else I’ve ever lived.
2) Either not lazy or trusting enough to research a service for some high school student to pick out cuts of meat and fish.
Had to review it.
Not sure, I have a cooler but no hat. Couldn’t afford both.
What the fuck is Peapod?
Eh, If I grill a steak I press in pepper and salt then put a few drops of hot sauce on each side for kick. Eat as is after grilling though.
I’m in Austin, I’ll take her out to sushi and put in a good word for UnproductiveBehavior. Trickle down economics.
Old house a guy lived across the street, pretty redneck, heavily tattood and used to ride Harleys. We decided he was in witsec because he never worked or went anywhere and told us his name was “Crow.” The benefit of him working on some piece of shit truck outside 24/7 was that he was basically our “redneck security system.” A couple times a month he would stop by and say something like, “There was this feller in a hood lookin’ in your window, so I grabbed my tire iron and got his attention. Hope he shit himself. Have a good night.” Unfortunately he moved recently, now shit gets stolen that the neighbors are yuppies.
Mom worked for Enron. R.I.P. 401k.
Or if you do have a mutual friend and it’s another single guy… “Hey, Tim, you know this Ashley Smith girl?” Yeah man, went on a first date with her last week, puts out. “Fuck you Tim, don’t talk about my future wife that way.” Typing to Ashley: 7pm Friday for drinks?
“Hinge is where you can call all of your mutual buddies with your potential match… (Everyone does this… don’t lie.)” Absolutely not you psychopath.