My job frequently touts “Work/Life Balance” but regularly denies PTO… PGP.

Too tired to drink. PGP.

Opting to listen to radio commercials over taking my headphones off to hear my coworkers talk. PGP.

Responding to sales emails with a clip of Chevy Chase saying “Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass, Kiss His Ass, Kiss Your Ass.” PGP.

My boss got passed over for a promotion. I guess he feels like I need to work harder. PGP.

If matching with single moms on Bumble makes me a pimp, consider me Dan Bilzerian. PGP.