I’m not at the parade today. PGP

The elevator stopping on the 2nd floor every. single. morning. PGP.

Explaining memes to the office dinosaur…

Being peer pressured to take performance enhancing drugs by co-workers and management. I’m an accountant. PGP.

Discussing the weather forecast for the day. PGP.

No idea what happened to FIFA, but I’ve had three separate conversations about it.

“You were such a loyal supporter of the fraternity as an undergrad, would you consider making a recurring donation now that you’re an alumni?”

My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

Get me the fuck out of here. PGP.

The intern just got caught looking at ESPN, and now all sports websites are blocked. PGP