Just received a negative evaluation for watching too much golf while in the office. PGP.

My fiancée scheduled a wedding venue tour during the Packers game on Sunday. PGP.

Always telling my co-workers my weekend was “low key” PGP.

8:30am power shit. PGP.

Work wife tells me when its her time of the month.

The daily morning battle of when I see if I can hold out my poop long enough to make to work so I can be paid to take one.PGP.

My day doesn’t really begin until coffee and I destroy a toilet. PGP

I respond “tentative” to every calendar invite to give the appearance that I am busier than I really am. PGP.

The supplies in my office aren’t worth stealing. PGP

The length of my hangover has officially exceeded the length of my weekend. PGP.