I pregame with a bunch of my friend’s coworkers at a random house somewhere close to downtown. We got a Lyft to downtown and on the way out of the house, I slipped on the front steps and landed on my side and bruised my ribs and got a pretty bad bump on the back of my head. I was drunk so I just kept going. At the bar a girl looking to latch on to someone approached me and after talking to her for a minute it was makeout city. Later in the night I was talking to someone else. This new girl was just as sloppy as I was. After midnight she said we should find a place to bang. We tried the bathroom, but it was packed. So she told me to follow her, and we went to a parking garage and had sex in a corner. Somewhere along the way my wallet disappeared. On new years day, I had no money and no ID. I regressed back to my college days for a little while. PGP
My friend’s ex-wife told him her ring better cost more than 5k. It was 2k. She married him just to have a pissing contest with her sorority sisters over whose wedding would be cuter. They were divorced a year later.
My HOA requires everyone to have their Christmas lights put up by a private company to ensure the neighborhood is uniform. The HOA president happens to own the company and charges $200 for set up and tear down.
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I pregame with a bunch of my friend’s coworkers at a random house somewhere close to downtown. We got a Lyft to downtown and on the way out of the house, I slipped on the front steps and landed on my side and bruised my ribs and got a pretty bad bump on the back of my head. I was drunk so I just kept going. At the bar a girl looking to latch on to someone approached me and after talking to her for a minute it was makeout city. Later in the night I was talking to someone else. This new girl was just as sloppy as I was. After midnight she said we should find a place to bang. We tried the bathroom, but it was packed. So she told me to follow her, and we went to a parking garage and had sex in a corner. Somewhere along the way my wallet disappeared. On new years day, I had no money and no ID. I regressed back to my college days for a little while. PGP
Don’t sweat it. As long as you offer the best deal they really dont don’t care. If you dont then your life probably sucks right about now.
As a boss, if anyone does call out I immediately think it’s for an interview.
I’m a bank branch manager and I’m 26. I get asked all the time if I’m part-time and working my way through school.
My in-laws said we shouldn’t see my parents because they live so far away. Mine parents live 3 hours away and my in-laws live 2 and a half hours away.
My friend’s ex-wife told him her ring better cost more than 5k. It was 2k. She married him just to have a pissing contest with her sorority sisters over whose wedding would be cuter. They were divorced a year later.
Finding a pubic hair on the toilet seat. PGP
Make them into a tshirt quilt so you never have to let go.
My boss rode my ass and threatened early termination my last two weeks at my previous job. Pray you don’t have to deal with that.
Hey are you interested in (insert boring career that doesn’t pay well and makes you want to play frogger on a busy highway)?
Cue the oil change.
My best employee told me she was being sought out for twice the pay. I thought it was a joke. It wasn’t. PGP
No you’re not.
Well that escalated quickly.
I talked to a dude at a work conference a few days ago that just got promoted and is relocating about that far to Atlanta. Was that you?
Are you going to tell your kids that your met on a hookup site?
A group of weirdos in college rode those scooters and called themselves the Scootopian Society.
My HOA requires everyone to have their Christmas lights put up by a private company to ensure the neighborhood is uniform. The HOA president happens to own the company and charges $200 for set up and tear down.
A year after I started, the new hires started making what I made after 2 raises.
The paper trail stops here….