Employed Adults Are Riding Razor Scooters, And I Want In

Employed Adults Are Riding Razor Scooters, and I Want In

Let me set the scene: I’m taking a leisurely stroll down swanky danky Park Avenue in NYC. It’s both sexy and pretentious, open but unattainable. This place is lined with exclusive penthouse apartments, where business executives chill on ancient scotch and women wear couture. I was contemplating my life, and what I would have to do with my soul and my body to be able to afford a life like that. Sell them both, presumably.

And then it happened. A wave of cool air brushed past me, disrupting my disheveled day dream. A full grown man, rocking the living hell out of a three-piece suit and a killer leather briefcase glided past me. On a Razor Scooter.

So many questions flooded my mind. Why? Where are you going? Did you lose a bet? Did you win a bet? Are you running so life-threateningly late for a meeting that you not only didn’t have time to rent a Citi bike but instead had to knock over a small child and steal his scooter for the greater good? Is there a community of employed adults who ride scooters? Can I join?

And I’ll be damned, that man changed my life. I think about it every day. What if I just bit the bullet? What if I lit my metrocard on fire, deleted my Uber app, and flipped off all the cab drivers in New York? What if I went out, took my hard-earned cash, and spent it on a shiny new Razor Scooter instead of 14 pitchers of Bud Light? Is this who I am? Is this who I have always wanted to be?

It’s not like I’ve never seen anyone in New York do something unconventional before. (If I had a nickel for the amount of times I’ve been mooned on my way to work…I could probably afford to live on Park Ave.) And it’s not like I’ve never seen anyone ride a Razor scooter, either. But they’ve always been either A.) An actual child, for whom scooters are intended, or B.) Someone who’s a straight-up nerd. There’s nothing wrong with being either of those things, of course. It’s just that this new man changed my perspective. He took my self-constructed limitations on riding a Razor scooter and just dropped a bomb.

What I’m saying is, this guy was a boss on all levels, and I, a freshman in the real world, admire his thirst for life, superior transportation skills, and disruption of my naivety. Scooter man, keep on scooting.

Image via Shutterstock

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Better at offering a sarcastic comment than advice.

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