Definitely see what you’re saying, but then wouldn’t just watching the strippers be more like porn? Otherwise we’re talking some pretty interactive stuff. I’m fascinated that this girl’s worried about coming off uncool just because it’s accepted that all guys do it. Doesn’t it seem perfectly reasonable that when someone signs up to be monogamous, they’d feel uncomfortable with their partner essentially cheating because it’s a “special occasion”, or because it most likely won’t lead to sex?
It seems like ladies get the short end of the stick here because the justification is weak, but if they don’t roll with it then they’re considered uptight.
I’ve always been genuinely curious. How come dudes don’t consider it cheating if you pay a woman to give you a naked lap dance, but if you don’t pay her and it’s not at a strip club, they would consider it cheating? What’s the honest rationale there?
I’m from the hated NJ but work/commute to NYC. Here’s my view:
1. It has everything you could ever want at all hours you could imagine. When you’re drunk at 4am there’s pizza and halal carts galore.
2. Roommates. Even in a studio apartment.
3. If you’re from any of the boroughs you’re good. Rent’s so crazy expensive that the “New Yorker” definition expanded along with the market.
4. Subway/Uber/walking. Super easy to get pretty much anywhere at all hours.
5. Dating is notoriously horrible in NYC – you need to leave NYC to have any luck.
6. It’s twofold – NY’ers believe they are better than everyone, and NJ’ers are incredibly annoying.
This is what most people believe they want when they’re single (myself too when I was single). Even when you first start dating a person – you don’t need to talk all the time and don’t need to see each other often. The “relationship”-y stuff only comes about when you start having deeper feelings. You begin wondering what the other person is doing. You wanna see them more. You wanna talk more. Nothing wrong with that. Like everyone said, what you’re looking for is essentially the beginnings of a healthy relationship. Your feelings will likely change once you find someone you fall hard for.
I agree that some of what basic chicks do is eyeroll-inducing. But do you really think the self awareness is there on the bro side of things? Also, I’m not convinced that the stuff bros do is necessarily much better (i.e posting shirtless pics flexing, complaining girls refuse to date nice guys, rating women’s body parts with their friends, etc).
Honestly as a woman, this is primarily the reason I was rarely interested in one night stands when I was single. There’s less incentive for us – men have a 90% chance of orgasm, for us it’s far lower than that. The argument that we shouldn’t base it off past men or that we can teach the guy is valid. However, it’s difficult to teach someone successfully in one go, and how much effort is the guy really gonna put forth if he’s not planning to actually date the girl?
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Definitely see what you’re saying, but then wouldn’t just watching the strippers be more like porn? Otherwise we’re talking some pretty interactive stuff. I’m fascinated that this girl’s worried about coming off uncool just because it’s accepted that all guys do it. Doesn’t it seem perfectly reasonable that when someone signs up to be monogamous, they’d feel uncomfortable with their partner essentially cheating because it’s a “special occasion”, or because it most likely won’t lead to sex?
It seems like ladies get the short end of the stick here because the justification is weak, but if they don’t roll with it then they’re considered uptight.
I’ve always been genuinely curious. How come dudes don’t consider it cheating if you pay a woman to give you a naked lap dance, but if you don’t pay her and it’s not at a strip club, they would consider it cheating? What’s the honest rationale there?
I’m from the hated NJ but work/commute to NYC. Here’s my view:
1. It has everything you could ever want at all hours you could imagine. When you’re drunk at 4am there’s pizza and halal carts galore.
2. Roommates. Even in a studio apartment.
3. If you’re from any of the boroughs you’re good. Rent’s so crazy expensive that the “New Yorker” definition expanded along with the market.
4. Subway/Uber/walking. Super easy to get pretty much anywhere at all hours.
5. Dating is notoriously horrible in NYC – you need to leave NYC to have any luck.
6. It’s twofold – NY’ers believe they are better than everyone, and NJ’ers are incredibly annoying.
This is what most people believe they want when they’re single (myself too when I was single). Even when you first start dating a person – you don’t need to talk all the time and don’t need to see each other often. The “relationship”-y stuff only comes about when you start having deeper feelings. You begin wondering what the other person is doing. You wanna see them more. You wanna talk more. Nothing wrong with that. Like everyone said, what you’re looking for is essentially the beginnings of a healthy relationship. Your feelings will likely change once you find someone you fall hard for.
The fact that I got downvotes for playing devil’s advocate kinda answered that question.
I agree that some of what basic chicks do is eyeroll-inducing. But do you really think the self awareness is there on the bro side of things? Also, I’m not convinced that the stuff bros do is necessarily much better (i.e posting shirtless pics flexing, complaining girls refuse to date nice guys, rating women’s body parts with their friends, etc).
Honestly as a woman, this is primarily the reason I was rarely interested in one night stands when I was single. There’s less incentive for us – men have a 90% chance of orgasm, for us it’s far lower than that. The argument that we shouldn’t base it off past men or that we can teach the guy is valid. However, it’s difficult to teach someone successfully in one go, and how much effort is the guy really gonna put forth if he’s not planning to actually date the girl?