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My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and it’s a solid relationship. We’re just getting to the point where our friends are getting engaged and with that obviously comes the bachelor/bachelorette parties. Here’s my question- am I annoying for being uncomfortable with him going to strip clubs during the bachelor parties? I haven’t said anything to him about it- I don’t want to be the “uncool” girlfriend, but the thought of him getting a lap dance from a basically naked girl makes me a little uneasy.
I wanted to get your thoughts on this seeing as you’ve been on your fair share of bachelor parties. We both trust each other no doubt- and it’s not like I would say he’s not allowed to go (that would be weird), so should I bring it up with him or just let it go?
You know what — you have every right to feel uneasy about a naked chick possibly grinding her parts and rubbing all over your boyfriend. Bachelor parties have always sort of been grounds for a strip club hall pass with the girlfriend or wife, but some weird shit can go on in those places. It’s reasonable for you to be uncomfortable about it.
I’ve always thought of strip clubs as novelties. Any time I’ve ever gone to one, it’s been with a group of people who aren’t going there to get their rocks off. We have always gone as a novelty, and usually it’s during a bachelor party. Like “oh look, we’re in a strip club. That’s so unlike us lol. This is new and different and we’re not creepy at all for being here.” With a group. Always with a group of people you know well.
It’s fine if you talk to him about it, and maybe it’s your opportunity to find out if he’s the novelty type or if he’s excited to be in there to get weird with strippers. There are lots of those types, too.
First of all love the name. As a fellow Dillyn myself I feel like you’ll be able to give me the best response.
Okay so the issue: kinda complicated but basically it all has to do with guys and sex. This is a three part process.
I’m a girl who’s had sex with a fair share of people but still have not been able to orgasm. I know you’re not a doctor or qualified in females but any advice on this?
Again, back to the frequent sex thing I’ve been told that I’m pretty good yet most guys don’t cum and then I get too exhausted. Usually we’re both drunk though so do you think this is the main issue?
Pretty much every guy I meet is a random hookup that leads nowhere but there’s been a few where I could see possibly perusing something but they always end up basically ghosting. What’s up with that?
(Honestly not trying to brag about sex but these are very pressing issues as I’m sure you know)
Huge fan we Dills gotta stick together
In all my days on this planet as a Dillon, I’ve never seen my name spelled your way. Wild stuff.
I’m not a doctor or even a female, but I can tell you that you’re not the only one who can’t orgasm during sex. It’s probably more common than you think, actually. I also know that some girls are more stimulated via penetration and some more so with clitoral action. Side note: I felt weird typing that sentence. Some experimenting is probably in order.
I’d venture a guess that your main issue here is that most of your sex is during “random hookups.” You don’t have time to get comfortable with anyone if you’re the one and done type. I’m hoping, for you, that once you find someone who’s worthy of dating for an extended period of time, you’ll become more comfortable with him and you two can communicate about sex and experiment and all that fun shit.
“I’ve been told that I’m pretty good yet most guys don’t cum and then I get too exhausted.”
This sentence has me really confused. Unless all your hookups are at the tail end of 10-hour alcohol and drug benders, I don’t understand how the guys aren’t getting off, either. Something isn’t right here.
P.S. Congrats on the sex, Dill.
Hoping I can squeeze this last minute mailbag in. I’ve got a conundrum, so like any good millenial, I figure that only the internet can solve it. After my last long term relationship ended, I made the choice to stay single and out of the dating game for a while. Well, it’s been a while and I’ve never been happier. While I can honestly say that I love being single, I am in my mid to late 20s, so I feel like I’ve gotta get back out there at some point. I’ve been asked on plenty of dates (#humblebrag), but for some reason, I never go. The majority of guys who ask are attractive, and it’s not like I’m nervous; I just have zero interest. At first I thought it was normal to be selective, but after a few lectures from my friends about being, “too closed off,” or an “ice queen,” I feel like maybe there’s something wrong with me.
So what do I do? Do I wait for someone that genuinely interests me, or do I just get back out there for the sake of the game?
I think you just do what makes you happy. If that’s being single and not accepting any dates, so be it. Age doesn’t matter, either. You have your whole life to settle down with someone if and when the right opportunity comes along, or maybe it doesn’t happen at all. And that’s okay, too. Be selfish when it comes to your own happiness.
So I have been dating this guy for 5-6 months. We spoke very quickly about sleeping with other people and made it exclusive at around a month but after that we never really talked about what we were more. He mentioned jokingly we never had the girlfriend boyfriend talk but I’ve heard him referring to me as his girlfriend to his family and coworkers for a few months now and told him I have been doing the same. We both just assumed the position somewhere around New Years. So my question is, would it be petty to ask to pick a date for an anniversary? Should I wait it out longer to ask if you think it’s appropriate to ask?
No, I don’t think it’s petty to ask for an anniversary date. Go ahead and do it now. It’s been plenty long enough. When is the anniversary, though? First date? When you decide to become exclusive? Other? I guess it’s just whatever each couple decides based on how their relationship has developed.
Also, I’m of the opinion that “going exclusive” is basically the same thing as being boyfriend/girlfriend. You agree that you’re only seeing that one person, which is a commitment. Seems like splitting hairs to me and that the lack of title just leaves an out for one or both of you. Not that titles are necessarily important, but they do set certain expectations and parameters in relationships.
Long-time, second time. Here’s the deal. In about 6 months there’s an all-time act coming to my town that’s one of my favorites ever, and it’s his last tour (it’s Elton John). I’ve never gotten to see him, and I know there was an article a few months back on those it’s about going to see your idols in concert. Anyway, I’m writing you because there is a good chance I will have no one to go with. No one that I’m close to at all listens to Elton at all, and it’s a very expensive ticket, meaning I probably couldn’t convince any of my early 20’s friends without much disposable income and no interest in the performer to buy a ticket. Is it a total serial killer to just say fuck it and go by myself? I don’t know how fun that sounds anyway. Thanks man.
Do it. Will saw Kanye by himself last year and said he had a blast. I’ve never done it (I don’t really like going to concerts) but I wouldn’t hesitate if the situation was right. Small or large venue, I don’t think it matters. It might even allow you to take in the music a little better, since you don’t have to worry about anyone else.
It might be a little awkward if you ran into people you know, but if you’re confident about the solo move and you own it, you’ll handle that interaction well. “Fuck yes I’m here alone!”
On another note, you have to see my man EJ live. He’s one of my all-time favorites. Coming from a guy who doesn’t like concerts, I’ve seen Elton John in concert twice — once in Vegas and once in Austin. He puts on an amazing show and brings hit after hit with a lot of energy.
Quick q – my boyfriend of 6 months invited me to his brother’s wedding. I have yet to meet any of his family (we live across the country from them). What is the plus-one protocol for giving gifts? I’m unsure because these people have the potential to be in my life for a long time if it continues to go well for us, so I don’t want to skimp but I also don’t want to do too much.
Thanks for your thoughts!
This is classic couple gift scenario. You bring one gift, and it’s from both of you. They won’t be expecting you to bring your own, nor should you..
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