I test my desk at least once a day to see if I could actually flip it when I eventually rage quit this job. PGP.

My company put me in charge of ordering new business cards for everyone. Say hello to your new Executive Vice President of Marketing Coordination. PGPM.

Trying to open my house door with my work key. PGP.

“How’d that game turn out? I fell asleep.” PGP.

I don’t know what it’s like to be fat, but I’m awfully close to finding out. PGP.

Haven’t been carded in months. PGP.

I’m going to attempt to relive my glory days this weekend. Pray for me. PGP.