Booze and Schmooze is a 2012 graduate from a state-run party school in Minnesota, with honors in keg stands, and passive-aggressive MN nice behavior. You can see him rollerblading in the Mall of America with a duck call in honor of the District 5 hockey team, who became the Mighty Ducks.
"Let him make the first move, Conway" - Gordon Bombay
Tweets and Facebook posts are bad enough. Even worse is when you’re selected for the never ending Snap Chat videos that they feel you ought to know. 5th keg stand in one day? Wow, I really believe you now, because I saw the 10 second videos to prove it. Thank you SO MUCH.
Dear 5th grade BoozeandSchmooze,
Remember when your penis got hard for reasons unknowing to you at the time? You struggled with the thought of how you could get rid of it in a satisfactory manner. Well, let me tell you little guy, you figured that out in 6th grade, and boy your life has not been the same ever since.
Probably a little of both goes into the new game being terrible. If they came out with a new Roller Coaster Tycoon I’d be more into trying that than the new Sim City.
““I’m always texting this chick first so she knows I’m into her,” then high fiving everyone because of the tidal wave of BJs coming my way.” Brilliant line!
“Yes mom, I quit smoking/chewing tobacco.” The Truth – Fat chance of that happening
“I thought that was a vase when I bought it, honest!” The Truth – That $200 water bong has treated you very well over the years.
By all means, please wow the audience with your brilliant writing, William Shakespeare. Nah, that would take too much effort eh? Better to criticize from a far without proving you can do better.
Never have, but it might be worth a try. I too just go straight from the bottle, but there’s some days when I want to change it up and have a couple of mixies instead.
Kentucky doesn’t bank on one and dones? That’s preposterous. Dating back to 2010 when Calipari took over, they’ve had the following one and dones: John Wall, DeMarcus Cousins, Eric Bledsoe, Daniel Orton, Brandon Knight, Anthony Davis, Kidd-Gilchrist, Marquis Teague, Nerlens Noel, and Archie Goodwin.
That’s how Calipari rolls, he’s one of, if not the best, recruiter in the country. He knows these kids are out the door as soon as March Madness is over, and the next batch of 1st rounders are coming in.
Good to know. Yeah I tried it before with Coke and didn’t like it at all. I wasn’t sure what would be a good mixy with it so lately I’ve been drinking it straight with a couple of ice cubes.
I’d like to see the age restriction go back to 18. The recruiting strategy would be much different for teams like Kentucky, who bank on churning out one-and-dones every year. I’m kind of surprised more people don’t take the Brandon Jennings route and go pro overseas for a year then enter the draft.
As far as your other point about players getting a piece of the revenue pie, I agree, but it’s going to be much more complex than saying Tyler Ennis gets x% of jersey sales.
Matthew McConaughey wishes he could suck his own dick too. Honestly, the possibilities are endless for politically correct answers on who’s his hero. Instead he goes with the most self-centered, arrogant answer you could think of. Alright alright alright go fuck yourself.
Staff: The Runt’s 13 year old brother
Height: 4’9″
Weight: 87 lbs.
Overview: This kid is smart as fuck. And The Runt needs someone to talk to on the sidelines while he’s waiting for his time to shine.
Strengths: Plays Madden 25 on a daily basis. Can enforce that the Hot Chick is all-time center. Has not yet destroyed brain cells from drinking.
Weaknesses: Can not be the sober cab for the team.
Bottom Line: Annexation of Puerto Rico.
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Tweets and Facebook posts are bad enough. Even worse is when you’re selected for the never ending Snap Chat videos that they feel you ought to know. 5th keg stand in one day? Wow, I really believe you now, because I saw the 10 second videos to prove it. Thank you SO MUCH.
People in Minnesota don’t call them the Twins anymore. They’re called the Minnesota Dumpster Fires.
Dear 5th grade BoozeandSchmooze,
Remember when your penis got hard for reasons unknowing to you at the time? You struggled with the thought of how you could get rid of it in a satisfactory manner. Well, let me tell you little guy, you figured that out in 6th grade, and boy your life has not been the same ever since.
Love, BoozeandSchmooze at 24.
Probably a little of both goes into the new game being terrible. If they came out with a new Roller Coaster Tycoon I’d be more into trying that than the new Sim City.
This game was the tits. Has anyone ever played the new Sim City game they came out with a year or so ago?
““I’m always texting this chick first so she knows I’m into her,” then high fiving everyone because of the tidal wave of BJs coming my way.” Brilliant line!
Wow, your boss was a grade A prick.
“Yes mom, I quit smoking/chewing tobacco.” The Truth – Fat chance of that happening
“I thought that was a vase when I bought it, honest!” The Truth – That $200 water bong has treated you very well over the years.
By all means, please wow the audience with your brilliant writing, William Shakespeare. Nah, that would take too much effort eh? Better to criticize from a far without proving you can do better.
A lot of hate on the comments section lately, but none of them submit their own content.
The problem is even worse when your Droid is dying and you’re only with people that have iPhones.
Never have, but it might be worth a try. I too just go straight from the bottle, but there’s some days when I want to change it up and have a couple of mixies instead.
Trying this out as we speak, and I give your mixy an A- grade
Kentucky doesn’t bank on one and dones? That’s preposterous. Dating back to 2010 when Calipari took over, they’ve had the following one and dones: John Wall, DeMarcus Cousins, Eric Bledsoe, Daniel Orton, Brandon Knight, Anthony Davis, Kidd-Gilchrist, Marquis Teague, Nerlens Noel, and Archie Goodwin.
That’s how Calipari rolls, he’s one of, if not the best, recruiter in the country. He knows these kids are out the door as soon as March Madness is over, and the next batch of 1st rounders are coming in.
Good to know. Yeah I tried it before with Coke and didn’t like it at all. I wasn’t sure what would be a good mixy with it so lately I’ve been drinking it straight with a couple of ice cubes.
Fireball and Dr. Pepper huh? I might have to give that a try instead of what I normally do, straight from the handle.
I’d like to see the age restriction go back to 18. The recruiting strategy would be much different for teams like Kentucky, who bank on churning out one-and-dones every year. I’m kind of surprised more people don’t take the Brandon Jennings route and go pro overseas for a year then enter the draft.
As far as your other point about players getting a piece of the revenue pie, I agree, but it’s going to be much more complex than saying Tyler Ennis gets x% of jersey sales.
Matthew McConaughey wishes he could suck his own dick too. Honestly, the possibilities are endless for politically correct answers on who’s his hero. Instead he goes with the most self-centered, arrogant answer you could think of. Alright alright alright go fuck yourself.
Staff: The Runt’s 13 year old brother
Height: 4’9″
Weight: 87 lbs.
Overview: This kid is smart as fuck. And The Runt needs someone to talk to on the sidelines while he’s waiting for his time to shine.
Strengths: Plays Madden 25 on a daily basis. Can enforce that the Hot Chick is all-time center. Has not yet destroyed brain cells from drinking.
Weaknesses: Can not be the sober cab for the team.
Bottom Line: Annexation of Puerto Rico.
Pretty cool that he recorded it happening. The odds of this ever happening again have to be astronomical.