This would have been helpful the first time I went to Chicago for a weekend trip. Quickly learned on a Saturday night that boystown is not a place full of sports bars and strip clubs as I imagined. I thought it was a place you went “with the boys” not a place you went “for the boys”.
A snippet from Michelob’s marketing Monday meeting:
“Sam, I’m looking at the numbers and here and our Ultra numbers in the 25-35 year old male demo are off the charts. Was there some new campaign I wasn’t keyed into?”
Sam furiously shuffles papers around, looking for any explanation and trying to avoid eye contact. Sam had a bit of a rough derby weekend, and the three Advil and Alka-Seltzer cold brew just wasn’t cutting it.
“Uhh..I’m not sure boss. Might be a calculation issue. I’ll touch base with my team and make sure everything is tightened up for the directors conference call later today.”
“Hey boss…” Chad slowly took his feet off the table, and took a long drag from his e-cig. Everyone thought Chad was a douche but his dad was an EVP in legal so no one said anything.
“I think I know what’s going on. On some frat blog I follow..” Chad started..
“Fucking of course Chad reads a frat blog” thought Sam. “What an asshole”.
“Some guy named dude has been convincing people our shit is tight. Maybe we should throw em a few bills for a sponsorship?”
Ignoring the positively asinine language the boss looked over at Chad dismissively, “Chad, get serious here, there is no way some blog could get that demo to drink Ultra. Everyone knows we made that beer for 40 year old women on crash diets that have a drinking problem. I’ll take a look at it later though. Thanks for the heads up and tell your father I say hello”.
Best way to get rid of the scaries? Large cold brew, 18 holes twilight round, HBO Sunday night and early to bed. No matter what, wake up Monday feeling fresh for the week.
I keep wanting to get my tolerance back up, but none of my friends are down to drink much on the weeknights.
They keep using these garbage excuses like, “I’m pregnant” or “I’m studying for the CFA” or “I’m spending the night with my girlfriend”. What a bunch of jabronis!
My first apartment post grad was a two bedroom that I shared with a good friend from college. It was mostly subsidized housing that we paid market rate for because it was all we could afford in a very average neighborhood.
The building was falling apart, the neighbors cooked stinky shit all the time, there was several resident drug dealers, people yelling through the walls, and the cops were there at least once a week.
It may not have been a nice place but my roommate and I made the best of it. Worked hard, partied all the time, and spent a great first year out of school.
All in all it’s not the apartment that makes the difference, it’s the people you spend the time with.
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This would have been helpful the first time I went to Chicago for a weekend trip. Quickly learned on a Saturday night that boystown is not a place full of sports bars and strip clubs as I imagined. I thought it was a place you went “with the boys” not a place you went “for the boys”.
I’m a big fan of PGP moving towards financial reporting. This way if my MD comes my way I can tell him I’m doing research.
Helluva column skip
Trying to lose weight? Try excessive amounts of stimulants.
I like the cut of your jib fella
Don’t make ball golf a thing. There’s golf, and then there’s not golf
This one is definitely getting picked up by Bodybuilding.com
We get it Duda, you’re fuckin.
Leave this job as soon as possible
I responded “my man” in a Matthew McConaughey voice in my head after reading every one of these DeFries.
If I didn’t have the old lady around I might be sending you a dry cleaned suit and a plane ticket for one of the weddings I’m attending this season.
A snippet from Michelob’s marketing Monday meeting:
“Sam, I’m looking at the numbers and here and our Ultra numbers in the 25-35 year old male demo are off the charts. Was there some new campaign I wasn’t keyed into?”
Sam furiously shuffles papers around, looking for any explanation and trying to avoid eye contact. Sam had a bit of a rough derby weekend, and the three Advil and Alka-Seltzer cold brew just wasn’t cutting it.
“Uhh..I’m not sure boss. Might be a calculation issue. I’ll touch base with my team and make sure everything is tightened up for the directors conference call later today.”
“Hey boss…” Chad slowly took his feet off the table, and took a long drag from his e-cig. Everyone thought Chad was a douche but his dad was an EVP in legal so no one said anything.
“I think I know what’s going on. On some frat blog I follow..” Chad started..
“Fucking of course Chad reads a frat blog” thought Sam. “What an asshole”.
“Some guy named dude has been convincing people our shit is tight. Maybe we should throw em a few bills for a sponsorship?”
Ignoring the positively asinine language the boss looked over at Chad dismissively, “Chad, get serious here, there is no way some blog could get that demo to drink Ultra. Everyone knows we made that beer for 40 year old women on crash diets that have a drinking problem. I’ll take a look at it later though. Thanks for the heads up and tell your father I say hello”.
Best way to get rid of the scaries? Large cold brew, 18 holes twilight round, HBO Sunday night and early to bed. No matter what, wake up Monday feeling fresh for the week.
Do you even think this person can taste his fair trade organically grown and eco friendly delivered pour over with all the smug they put in it?
I keep wanting to get my tolerance back up, but none of my friends are down to drink much on the weeknights.
They keep using these garbage excuses like, “I’m pregnant” or “I’m studying for the CFA” or “I’m spending the night with my girlfriend”. What a bunch of jabronis!
Who hurt you Kyle..
I’m worried Todd is going to go to deep on the adderal and won’t be able to perform when the time comes
This is by far the funniest story I’ve read all week.
My first apartment post grad was a two bedroom that I shared with a good friend from college. It was mostly subsidized housing that we paid market rate for because it was all we could afford in a very average neighborhood.
The building was falling apart, the neighbors cooked stinky shit all the time, there was several resident drug dealers, people yelling through the walls, and the cops were there at least once a week.
It may not have been a nice place but my roommate and I made the best of it. Worked hard, partied all the time, and spent a great first year out of school.
All in all it’s not the apartment that makes the difference, it’s the people you spend the time with.
An article yesterday about assembling a happy crew and an article today about getting out of happy hour. I’m getting really mixed signals here.
There is one thing better. Pounding beers in the boat on the lake with your friends
Good take on this. I can get behind almost anything if it involves relaxing and celebrating regularly for no particular reason