I’m really liking the direction you’re taking here DeFries. You’re like a sarcastic version of that guy on CNBC that talks about lifestyles of the rich and famous.
A Snippet From The Michelob Monday Afternoon Marketing Meeting:
Sam sat alone in the conference room with her notes spread across the table. A half finished wedge salad being neglected in favor of another 24oz cold brew. These premeeting meetings with Chad were becoming a bit too regular and he could never be bothered to show up on time.
“Late as usual, classic Chad” thought Sam. She wasn’t surprised, she was at the company golf event too, and was definitely feeling the six Ultras she put away on the course. But then again, she didn’t roll a golf cart off a tee box trying to flag down the cart girl. “What an idiot”
She thought the proposal she had put together for the blog was very reasonable by company standards and she was excited to present it. If the new advertising and sponsored content worked out it could mean a full bonus for her in February and she was already dreaming of the Yoga retreat at that center near San Francisco she heard about somewhere. The only thing she had to work about was what Chad called “the Vizzy Aides baby”. Either way, she made a PowerPoint and assumed he would forget and she would take point and impress everyone.
The door slammed open and Chad sauntered in breaking Sam’s concentration.
“No. Nope, get out. You’re sick today. You’re not presenting with me” Sam hissed at Chad. He was wearing a bright yellow bro tank, some floral swim trunks and a hat that read “Deal Closers Only”. What the fuck does that even mean. Not to mention he was completely sun-burned. He looked like a retiree on his first summer in Arizona.
“Sam, chill, I’m the target demo. Get it? By the way are you eating a salad. On a diet or something? You totally don’t need it” Chad started putting up posters of other light beers with big red X’s marked through them.
“What are you even planning on doing? This is an ad buy and sponsored content proposal?” Sam had to admit she was curious although incredibly frustrated.
“Oh it’s gonna be tight. I worked on it all weekend. You give your little presi or whatever and then I’ll rip down all these posters. I represent how this is actually gonna affect the target demo. Don’t worry though if your presentation sucks I’ll just rif a little on my thoughts on how to really dig in here”.
Sam was giddy on the inside. He was finally going to get fired and she was going to look amazing. All she had to do was apologize to her boss and say she had no idea and he was done. Doesn’t matter who his dad is. “That sounds like a great idea Chad!”
“No doubt Sammy Sosa” Chad tossed back “Im basically a genius”
The door opened again and the boss walked in, and to Sam’s horror so did Chad’s dad. As she booted up her laptop, she heard Chad’s dad whisper, “You’re gonna love this, real power play, I helped him with the whole thing”.
A Snapshot From Michelob’s Monday Morning Marketing Meeting:
Sam nervously fidgets in her chair, rearranging a stack of papers and excel printouts. She couldn’t believe she had to spend her whole weekend meticulously pouring over some blog looking for every mention of Michelob Ultra. Sure, her parents had been a little pissed that she missed Mother’s Day brunch with Nana, but they’d get it. It was her first big presentation as an associate.
“Okay seriously, where the fuck is Chad, he was supposed to be here 15 minutes early to go over everything”, she thought to herself, “I can’t believe I dated that asshole when we were interns”
Just then, Chad sauntered into the room, twirling his e-cig and inexplicably still wearing a pair of sunglasses.
“Chad, seriously, are you wearing a fucking a Hawaiian shirt under your suit. You realize we have to give a presentation today right?” Sam hissed at Chad when he plopped down in his chair. Somehow she knew Chad was rolling his eyes.
“Uh yeah” Chad said, “It’s Spring Sam? Read a book. Anyway what are all these papers?”
“All these papers? This is the analysis of Michelob Ultra mentions to the new demo sales year over year”. Sam started to gush, this was honestly an amazing find and she had to give Chad some credit. “It actually shows that sales started to increase in line with site mentions of MU. I think this could be big”
“Oh, that’s chill” Chad replied, looking at ESPN on his phone “You do anything fun this weekend? I got annihilated on Saturday night and was super hungover for Mother’s Day. My parents were pissed, it was hilarious”
“Um no…wait weren’t you working this weekend? You did get ahold of those Grandex people right?” Sam was getting nervous. Chad could totally fuck this up for her.
“Sam, chill of course I did. I totally snapped that Duder guy a picture of my Mich Ultras from this weekend and he opened it. You could say negotiations are already under way. Just let me do the talking”
Sam put her head down on the cool table. Just then everyone else walked in. “Okay everyone, let’s get started! Sam, Chad, we’ll start with your exciting news about Ultra”.
From what I remember, it wasn’t super clear that it was a popular spot for the LGBT folks. We didn’t really figure it out until we noticed that ratio at a few of the bars we went to was strongly favored towards the male side of things. A quick google search explained the rest. Seemed like a decent spot to hang out, just not what we were looking for.
Advertise
I’m really liking the direction you’re taking here DeFries. You’re like a sarcastic version of that guy on CNBC that talks about lifestyles of the rich and famous.
Always meet the parents. Make friends with her dad and no matter happens with the girl you got a new cabin to hang out at during the summer
A Snippet From The Michelob Monday Afternoon Marketing Meeting:
Sam sat alone in the conference room with her notes spread across the table. A half finished wedge salad being neglected in favor of another 24oz cold brew. These premeeting meetings with Chad were becoming a bit too regular and he could never be bothered to show up on time.
“Late as usual, classic Chad” thought Sam. She wasn’t surprised, she was at the company golf event too, and was definitely feeling the six Ultras she put away on the course. But then again, she didn’t roll a golf cart off a tee box trying to flag down the cart girl. “What an idiot”
She thought the proposal she had put together for the blog was very reasonable by company standards and she was excited to present it. If the new advertising and sponsored content worked out it could mean a full bonus for her in February and she was already dreaming of the Yoga retreat at that center near San Francisco she heard about somewhere. The only thing she had to work about was what Chad called “the Vizzy Aides baby”. Either way, she made a PowerPoint and assumed he would forget and she would take point and impress everyone.
The door slammed open and Chad sauntered in breaking Sam’s concentration.
“No. Nope, get out. You’re sick today. You’re not presenting with me” Sam hissed at Chad. He was wearing a bright yellow bro tank, some floral swim trunks and a hat that read “Deal Closers Only”. What the fuck does that even mean. Not to mention he was completely sun-burned. He looked like a retiree on his first summer in Arizona.
“Sam, chill, I’m the target demo. Get it? By the way are you eating a salad. On a diet or something? You totally don’t need it” Chad started putting up posters of other light beers with big red X’s marked through them.
“What are you even planning on doing? This is an ad buy and sponsored content proposal?” Sam had to admit she was curious although incredibly frustrated.
“Oh it’s gonna be tight. I worked on it all weekend. You give your little presi or whatever and then I’ll rip down all these posters. I represent how this is actually gonna affect the target demo. Don’t worry though if your presentation sucks I’ll just rif a little on my thoughts on how to really dig in here”.
Sam was giddy on the inside. He was finally going to get fired and she was going to look amazing. All she had to do was apologize to her boss and say she had no idea and he was done. Doesn’t matter who his dad is. “That sounds like a great idea Chad!”
“No doubt Sammy Sosa” Chad tossed back “Im basically a genius”
The door opened again and the boss walked in, and to Sam’s horror so did Chad’s dad. As she booted up her laptop, she heard Chad’s dad whisper, “You’re gonna love this, real power play, I helped him with the whole thing”.
“Shit” thought Sam…
The amount of people that seem to hate their job after graduation is really kind of sad
So is liking this show a bit, because it’s truly awful?
I’m embarrassed to admit how much I look forward to this every week.
Been out alone, can’t say I agree.
You’re friends sound lame
I can actually confirm this guy’s story. I eat a lot of brunch and I don’t own a home.
Micah getting legitimately upset when accused of wearing cargos is the best part of this episode
Culver’s Bacon Deluxe, sub cheese curds, Culver’s chocolate shake.
Thank me later, after naptime
Have family from Florida and made at least a semi annual pilgrimage to Whataburger (before they started closing wtf?).
That said, I have to say Culver’s is a way better regional choice. You can’t beat a butter burger and custard after a long day on the lake.
I’m in the office by 6:45 at the latest. Living that early grind.
I can’t agree with work email. Papa needs some joe before he can handle that.
What was the incident?
Who the hell has enough PTO to start taking 10 day honeymoons with their friends?
A Snapshot From Michelob’s Monday Morning Marketing Meeting:
Sam nervously fidgets in her chair, rearranging a stack of papers and excel printouts. She couldn’t believe she had to spend her whole weekend meticulously pouring over some blog looking for every mention of Michelob Ultra. Sure, her parents had been a little pissed that she missed Mother’s Day brunch with Nana, but they’d get it. It was her first big presentation as an associate.
“Okay seriously, where the fuck is Chad, he was supposed to be here 15 minutes early to go over everything”, she thought to herself, “I can’t believe I dated that asshole when we were interns”
Just then, Chad sauntered into the room, twirling his e-cig and inexplicably still wearing a pair of sunglasses.
“Chad, seriously, are you wearing a fucking a Hawaiian shirt under your suit. You realize we have to give a presentation today right?” Sam hissed at Chad when he plopped down in his chair. Somehow she knew Chad was rolling his eyes.
“Uh yeah” Chad said, “It’s Spring Sam? Read a book. Anyway what are all these papers?”
“All these papers? This is the analysis of Michelob Ultra mentions to the new demo sales year over year”. Sam started to gush, this was honestly an amazing find and she had to give Chad some credit. “It actually shows that sales started to increase in line with site mentions of MU. I think this could be big”
“Oh, that’s chill” Chad replied, looking at ESPN on his phone “You do anything fun this weekend? I got annihilated on Saturday night and was super hungover for Mother’s Day. My parents were pissed, it was hilarious”
“Um no…wait weren’t you working this weekend? You did get ahold of those Grandex people right?” Sam was getting nervous. Chad could totally fuck this up for her.
“Sam, chill of course I did. I totally snapped that Duder guy a picture of my Mich Ultras from this weekend and he opened it. You could say negotiations are already under way. Just let me do the talking”
Sam put her head down on the cool table. Just then everyone else walked in. “Okay everyone, let’s get started! Sam, Chad, we’ll start with your exciting news about Ultra”.
Happy hour in 10. Playing it by ear from there.
Tee time at 10:08 tomorrow.
Ready is an understatement.
Nobody has gotten domed in a pair of khakis since 1996
From what I remember, it wasn’t super clear that it was a popular spot for the LGBT folks. We didn’t really figure it out until we noticed that ratio at a few of the bars we went to was strongly favored towards the male side of things. A quick google search explained the rest. Seemed like a decent spot to hang out, just not what we were looking for.