“I’m confident that having one woman who lives with you and has basically volunteered to be the subject of your pranks and immaturity for life is the most fun thing you can do, outside of maybe cocaine.”
33. We have the best 4th of July fireworks and Independence Day parties.
34. (I’ve found, since moving back here to my city of birth) It’s relatively easy to find a job. The said job compensates well for the high cost of living or hellish commute that you may have to endure. If it’s a government job, you’re work week is typically Monday-Thursday.
Washington DC:
There is traffic 24/7/365.
If you are the first in line at a red light, you must floor your car within a nanosecond of the light changing, or else be prepared for a symphony of horns from the drivers behind. This is especially true if the intersection isn’t clear. You must beat the other lanes of traffic, or else someone will cut you off if there is so much as a hint of daylight between you and the car in front.
When driving the Beltway, the left lane is reserved for the slow, confused, unfamiliar drivers, forcing everyone else to rip around them. Again, the practice of accelerating as quickly as possible, and braking at the last possible second is practiced here as well.
We do not slow down for rain or snow, yet traffic still comes to a standstill.
Jackson, Wyoming:
You must drive at or under the speed limit at all times. Under is preferred. Stop sign intersections are face offs in friendliness, in which each driver continues to wave the other driver through. Its a Wild West standoff until…
A pedestrian crossing the intersection recognizes one of the cars and stops to have a conversation with the driver. The other car, with no distraction, is forced to do the drive-by of shame.
Hitting and killing a moose is viewed as murder (moose deaths are usually front page headlines in the paper), so if you heard of a moose sighting near a road, you must drive at least 10 under. If you are a tourist, and you come across a moose, you must make minimal effort to pull out of traffic to take a million photos of said oversized deer. Stoping and abandoning your car in the middle of the road for the endeavor is preferable, particularly if it’s on a blind corner.
Advertise
This gave me a new perspective on marriage:
“I’m confident that having one woman who lives with you and has basically volunteered to be the subject of your pranks and immaturity for life is the most fun thing you can do, outside of maybe cocaine.”
33. We have the best 4th of July fireworks and Independence Day parties.
34. (I’ve found, since moving back here to my city of birth) It’s relatively easy to find a job. The said job compensates well for the high cost of living or hellish commute that you may have to endure. If it’s a government job, you’re work week is typically Monday-Thursday.
Washington DC:
There is traffic 24/7/365.
If you are the first in line at a red light, you must floor your car within a nanosecond of the light changing, or else be prepared for a symphony of horns from the drivers behind. This is especially true if the intersection isn’t clear. You must beat the other lanes of traffic, or else someone will cut you off if there is so much as a hint of daylight between you and the car in front.
When driving the Beltway, the left lane is reserved for the slow, confused, unfamiliar drivers, forcing everyone else to rip around them. Again, the practice of accelerating as quickly as possible, and braking at the last possible second is practiced here as well.
We do not slow down for rain or snow, yet traffic still comes to a standstill.
Jackson, Wyoming:
You must drive at or under the speed limit at all times. Under is preferred. Stop sign intersections are face offs in friendliness, in which each driver continues to wave the other driver through. Its a Wild West standoff until…
A pedestrian crossing the intersection recognizes one of the cars and stops to have a conversation with the driver. The other car, with no distraction, is forced to do the drive-by of shame.
Hitting and killing a moose is viewed as murder (moose deaths are usually front page headlines in the paper), so if you heard of a moose sighting near a road, you must drive at least 10 under. If you are a tourist, and you come across a moose, you must make minimal effort to pull out of traffic to take a million photos of said oversized deer. Stoping and abandoning your car in the middle of the road for the endeavor is preferable, particularly if it’s on a blind corner.