My recent calls consist of a mayor, drug dealer, our HR rep, a state senator, and three Tinder girls. PGPM.

Gameday weddings. PGP.

My co-worker said he had the “gift of gab,” but really he has the “curse of not being able to shut the fuck up”. PGP.

My best friend just bought a house. I just bought a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with change. PGP.

Being that guy who brings store bought items to the monthly company potluck. PGP.

Management has been asking for people to volunteer to take days off to save money on payroll. I volunteered tomorrow so I can go to a job interview. PGPM.

My middle-aged coworker just ask me if I knew where to buy weed. PGP.

Spending hours fixing pointless documents to avoid actual work. PGP.

All day all staff meeting. Someone take me out back and put me down like Old Yeller. PGP.

Just bought my first car! It’s 6 years old. PGP.