Some guy at the local college bar was always willing to buy a young (read: underage) girl a vodka cranberry. Confident I drank those until the night I turned 21
Things I’ve learned post-grad:
– Stop buying produce that you think looks good just to throw it away. Cereal can be an every meal type of food and fuck who ever says it can’t.
– Start going to a chiropractor, seriously if you’re sitting all day you’ll be thanking me later.
– DO NOT GET A DOG.
– Try to maintain the connection with your college buds. Ours is via group text and sometimes it’s annoying but damn it’s nice to have a sounding board that you’re familiar with rather than asking your work “friends” about shit they don’t care about.
Getting a 75 minute deep tissue massage tomorrow morning and then relaxing by the pool until heading out for a 25th birthday party. Planning on humble bragging about the massage all evening.
A take on an american classic, I will be heading back to my hometown for the traditional “Home Day’s” carnival. Thoroughly looking forward to hanging out with my parents and boyfriend in the beer tent while observing all the women I went to high school with corral their hordes of children. Cheers to semi-permanent birth control amirite?!
During one of my first shifts bartending during college a customer accidentally caught my hair on fire with a lighter. He said if I didn’t have fake hair it wouldn’t have been a problem… I’d like to take this moment to point out that my hair, is in fact, real and that hair is flammable.
Bumble Girl, type in Shalom on the GIF search and scroll to the right until you find the small asian child saying “Shalom everybody!” It’s awkward but funny and works every damn time
Advertise
Some guy at the local college bar was always willing to buy a young (read: underage) girl a vodka cranberry. Confident I drank those until the night I turned 21
Got asked to go to brunch for a “surprise” celebration on Sunday. Confident I’m coming back a bridesmaid.
Things I’ve learned post-grad:
– Stop buying produce that you think looks good just to throw it away. Cereal can be an every meal type of food and fuck who ever says it can’t.
– Start going to a chiropractor, seriously if you’re sitting all day you’ll be thanking me later.
– DO NOT GET A DOG.
– Try to maintain the connection with your college buds. Ours is via group text and sometimes it’s annoying but damn it’s nice to have a sounding board that you’re familiar with rather than asking your work “friends” about shit they don’t care about.
Getting a 75 minute deep tissue massage tomorrow morning and then relaxing by the pool until heading out for a 25th birthday party. Planning on humble bragging about the massage all evening.
A take on an american classic, I will be heading back to my hometown for the traditional “Home Day’s” carnival. Thoroughly looking forward to hanging out with my parents and boyfriend in the beer tent while observing all the women I went to high school with corral their hordes of children. Cheers to semi-permanent birth control amirite?!
During one of my first shifts bartending during college a customer accidentally caught my hair on fire with a lighter. He said if I didn’t have fake hair it wouldn’t have been a problem… I’d like to take this moment to point out that my hair, is in fact, real and that hair is flammable.
As a child of Jewish and Christian parents raised Christian just go Jewish – way more fun
A quilt for your future child’s crib
Bumble Girl, type in Shalom on the GIF search and scroll to the right until you find the small asian child saying “Shalom everybody!” It’s awkward but funny and works every damn time