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I had a discussion about the image you use for this column (face on mailman delivering mail) with a friend that also reads your column. Aren’t you the one receiving the mail? Why would you be the mailman? I have other problems I could be writing to you about but I feel like this would be more fun to hear your opinion on.
You know, I never really put much thought into it, but I guess you’re right. Intern Peyton made this image for me and she can do no wrong in my book, so I went with it, and I love it.
Maybe I’m hand-delivering the mail after I answer it because I like to add my own personal touch. Because that’s how much I care. Like here you go, ma’am — I answered your letter earnestly, put it in an envelope, and here I am delivering it to you face-to-face because I am also a postal worker. Now read up; there’s some good shit in there.
I’m wondering when/if it becomes unacceptable or weird to wear your old Greek life shirts in public. To be clear, I personally only really wear them around the house or casually when running errands. I’m curious about your thoughts tho because I have about 20 shirts from various events and functions, and I can’t justify tossing that many perfectly good shirts. However I don’t want to put off the vibe that I’m “stuck” in college. When did you decide to stop? Appreciate the input big homie.
Sincerely, a cheap postgrad.
The minute that diploma hits your palm, you can no longer wear your fraternity shirts outside the crib. That may sound extreme, but it’s how I feel. I will look down upon you and I will make fun of you behind your back, and if I know you, to your face.
I might listen to an argument that says the summer after a May graduation is fair game, but I would avoid doing even that. Wear them in the house only. Or better yet, find them a good home and bequeath them to a younger member of your chapter.
Hey Dill Pickle Chevre (sorry, how tired do you get of all the reader interpretations of your God-given name???),
I’m a little over a year out of college now and have been doing the whole dating thing on and off for about 7 months, so I’m not a total first-date rookie, but I figured I would ask this question anyway. How many drinks is a good limit for a first date? (not including one (1) pre-date drink)
Usually, I only keep it to one drink if I’m not feeling it or if I have somewhere to be afterwards, and two if I’m interested and want to keep talking. I have done three before, and at that point I’m usually pretty into the person and/or feeling a little bit tipsy — is three too much? At what point do I look like an alcoholic?
Hope this hasn’t been a question before. Any input welcome & appreciated!
Honestly, I think you’re exactly spot on. Agreeing to order a third drink is the mutual way of saying things are going pretty well and maybe you want to see them naked at some point in the future. You shouldn’t do more than three on a first date. Save that for later. Three is the most.
What you said about a second drink is interesting. It’s easily the most important drink of the night, right? It’s a very telling moment. Stopping after one means this is probably the last time you’re going to see that person. It’s the perfect out. But two? Let’s keep hanging out. Such a crucial drink.
“At what point do I look like an alcoholic?”
Around drink five, or whenever you get sloppy.
Let’s just cut to the chase, I got a bit of situation. Been dating this girl for a couple months now. Long distance type of relationship, like super long. A couple thousand miles separating us and a hella of a time difference to top it all off (currently stationed in Hawaii). Definitely difficult but we make it work.
She is great, everything that I want in a girl. I see a future with this lady, and she feels the same way. She has one more year of school left. She has plans of visiting me this Summer, haven’t seen her since ‘Nam. But her father has a different plan.
She’s on the lighter side and let’s just say I have a little more melanin than most people and can sing all the Spanish parts in Cardi B’s I like it. This is no bueno in the eyes of dear old dad.
When he first heard of this visit, he straight up offered her 2k not to come visit. Regardless, she bought the ticket to come see me. Now dear old dad has upped the ante, he has threatened not pay for college. I have no idea if he will make do on this threat, but regardless I don’t want her to take that chance. But after his initial offer, I definitely would not put it past him. I’ve already told her that she needs to worry about her future, but she is still hesitant about not coming. I plan on coming back to the mainland in the winter so we will eventually get to see each other. I’m still concerned that even if she doesn’t come to visit but we are still dating her dad will still pull the plug on her funds.
Should I put the relationship on pause or just end it (it’s definitely not what I want to do) but she has got to think about #1. And if we do continue seeing each other, I don’t know how the whole dad situation will affect things. I have no idea what to do, in need of some advice.
Man, I am so sorry. Fuckkkkkkk this guy.
I think you need to decide if she is worth all the trouble that her father brings to the table. That might sound insensitive but if she is going to be in your life longterm, then so is he, even if from afar. And let’s say she cuts him out of her life to be with you. Even if it’s justified and neither of you have done anything wrong, you’d be the reason why they lose touch. That sucks.
If she’s worth all that, then stay the course with her and don’t put anything on hold. It sounds like you two will have some difficult times ahead. Godspeed.
Again, because this part is very important: Fuck this guy.
Big fan of your poddies, namely, touching base.
I recently graduated college where I was an athlete (baseball player – can attest that the locker room gets fuckin weird). It was easy to stay in functional shape as the athletics program ensured you were doing their routines so they could get the return on their investment out of you. Since graduating and starting a job, I have found it is difficult to figure out what to do in terms of eating and working out since I have always been told exactly what to do in the gym and how to do. Baseball lifting was also more functional-based instead of look-good based.
So, as I move on to the next chapter of my life I wanted to ask you your gym routine/ diet plan. Based off of Instagram photos we have similar body physiques. You have almost maximized your potential in terms of ideal body for your build, and you tend to look hella snaccy (no homo) on insta.
I would be ecstatic if you could help me out with this and let me know what you do so that I can start my own routine and not slowly slip into looking like Will DeFries. Also, I have gassed you up a lot in this email. Don’t let it go to your head.
Guy Tryin to Start Life Off Right
Some backhanded gassing. You have to love it.
I don’t adhere to a specific diet. I actually don’t focus too much on what I am eating as much as I focus on what I’m not eating. I try to eliminate carbs and sugar as much as I can. That’s basically it. I still eat that shit, though. Just not much. Beer is a big one. I don’t drink it as much as I used to, which sucks because I love beer.
Below is my workout routine for the guys out there who want to maximize your potential “for your build.” I don’t have a frame that’s built to carry a lot of weight/muscle, which is I think what you meant by saying that. I do the standard five-day split.
The weekend is for resting. And I do core on two or three of those weekdays with at least one day of rest in between.
So after a long time out of the dating game to focus on grad school and a new job, I finally decided to put myself out there again and while I was hoping to meet someone in a more organic way, I decided to download Bumble. The thing is, I never know what a good opening line is, and being a girl, I’m required to initiate the conversation. What are some good things to open with that aren’t just, “hey, what’s up?” because that seems kind of lame. I like to think I’m a decently attractive girl, and I think I have a lot of other stuff going for me too, but this dating thing is hard and I need all the advice I can get. Thanks!
It doesn’t matter. “Hey” is enough. On Bumble, since the girl has to initiate the conversation, doing so is all the guy needs. There shouldn’t be any pressure for this reason.
He gets the noti that you started the convo, and it doesn’t matter if it’s three letters, a gif, or the funniest anecdote ever told on earth. If he’s interested, he will respond..
The more questions I receive, the better this series is going to be, so send me your Mailbag questions to [email protected] and please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.