“Are you busy?” is an absurd trap of a trick question. PGP.

Actually having to clean your place before having a girl over. PGP

“A one night stand from college just added me to LinkedIn and daily checks out my profile… how did he figure out my last name?” PGP

I’ll shoot you an email.

Drunkenly telling your coworker you want to fuck them during a work trip #PGP

Last ten minutes before work is done and the boss is doing rounds. The email I have been typing to look busy reads: “akjgsa asdhasklfjh asflh;lkha skhjdihwokqh.” PGP.

Being annoyed when someone asks you to do your job. PGP

Making sure everyone in the office knows you came in on the weekend.