Summer and winter are the same season when you have no windows in your office.

“How’s Tiger doing?” PGP.

Just saw my boss on TV at The Masters as I’m watching it from my cube

Called a client who has a ring back tone to all I do is win” by DJ Khaled.

I can’t afford to be in another wedding.

I just googled “can you overdose on pepto bismol”. Turns out, yes. Yes, you can.

Getting invited on winetasting trips by people who grossly overestimate my salary. PGP.

Needing a VP to approve all raises over 2% PGP

Still haven’t done my taxes but I do know who has the best crawfish boils in my neighborhood. PGP.

Sucking up to my bosses kid so he can put in a good word for me.