Like I said earlier, alone time with some Oreos tonight.
Saturday I’m getting a haircut for engagement photos and apartment hunting followed by a night out to dinner and Armadillo Palace with almost wife. Plan on getting sloppy drunk on some DosXXs like we used to.
HAPPY FRIDAY YOU DEAL CLOSING SONS OF BITCHES. IVE GOT A HECTIC WEEKEND AHEAD OF ME BUT THE FIANCÉ IS OUT WITH FRIENDS TONIGHT SO IVE GOT THE GREEN LIGHT TO DO WHATEVER I WANT. MEANING IM LEAVING WORK EARLY TO GET 9 IN ON THE COURSE THEN SPENDING THE NIGHT EATING OREOS (DOUBLE STUFFED OF COURSE) AND PROBABLY LOOKING AT “WEBSITES” THAT WOULD UNDOUBTEDLY MAKE HER LEAVE ME IF SHE SAW MY BROWSER HISTORY. BUT BEFORE ALL THAT, IM GOING TO ENJOY A SECOND CUP OF TIGER BLOOD AND CLOSE SOME FRIDAY MORNING DEALS. HAVE A BLESSED FRIDAY EVERYONE.
Arizona is the highest. Take off 6 for any Midwest state, 5 for any northeastern state and 4 for any southeast state. Texas you generally take off 4 for any girl, regardless of region (I do have Texas bias). And it’s a general sweep for anyone above the Mason-Dixon you just drop their score by half regardless of what southern state you’re in
My fiancé has a few friends from back home that consider themselves “Instagram models”. They are absolutely the most repulsive people I’ve ever been around. The only upside is watching half naked Arizona 9s posing for pictures while I just try to not look like a bloated dead whale in my latest post.
My Thursday morning confession: I daydream, almost daily, about what it would be like to have double or triple digit Instagram likes. I want it real bad
We sent out our invites 2 weeks ago and I’ve already had a few people call me out for no invite once they heard and even worse, a few “friends” complain about the no plus one (small destination wedding). Already plan on sitting them all in the back and making sure their dinner is served cold and soggy
THIS GOT ME SO PUMPED BEFORE MY FIRST CUP OF COFFEE I FEEL LIKE I DONT EVEN NEED ANY. BUT IM STILL GOING TO HAVE A CUP, OR FOUR BECAUSE THATS WHAT CLOSERS DO. HAVE A BLESSED DAY EVERYONE.
Had an ex that wore socks to bed. She ended up trying to break into our house, getting kicked out of school, and moving in with her new boyfriend’s (now husband) parent’s house.
Well I figured since we are commenting on a satire/comedy sight I’d go for more of the sarcastic/ridiculous comments. But for public record, I couldn’t be more happy and in love with my fiancé and she’s absolutely the best.
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Like I said earlier, alone time with some Oreos tonight.
Saturday I’m getting a haircut for engagement photos and apartment hunting followed by a night out to dinner and Armadillo Palace with almost wife. Plan on getting sloppy drunk on some DosXXs like we used to.
Have a blessed weekend everyone.
I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than for these two to get married
Good luck
HAPPY FRIDAY YOU DEAL CLOSING SONS OF BITCHES. IVE GOT A HECTIC WEEKEND AHEAD OF ME BUT THE FIANCÉ IS OUT WITH FRIENDS TONIGHT SO IVE GOT THE GREEN LIGHT TO DO WHATEVER I WANT. MEANING IM LEAVING WORK EARLY TO GET 9 IN ON THE COURSE THEN SPENDING THE NIGHT EATING OREOS (DOUBLE STUFFED OF COURSE) AND PROBABLY LOOKING AT “WEBSITES” THAT WOULD UNDOUBTEDLY MAKE HER LEAVE ME IF SHE SAW MY BROWSER HISTORY. BUT BEFORE ALL THAT, IM GOING TO ENJOY A SECOND CUP OF TIGER BLOOD AND CLOSE SOME FRIDAY MORNING DEALS. HAVE A BLESSED FRIDAY EVERYONE.
Arizona is the highest. Take off 6 for any Midwest state, 5 for any northeastern state and 4 for any southeast state. Texas you generally take off 4 for any girl, regardless of region (I do have Texas bias). And it’s a general sweep for anyone above the Mason-Dixon you just drop their score by half regardless of what southern state you’re in
Also, if you’re not following that Sommer chick on snapchat, you’re not living. Pro tip: do not ever let your lady friend see you open her stories
My fiancé has a few friends from back home that consider themselves “Instagram models”. They are absolutely the most repulsive people I’ve ever been around. The only upside is watching half naked Arizona 9s posing for pictures while I just try to not look like a bloated dead whale in my latest post.
My Thursday morning confession: I daydream, almost daily, about what it would be like to have double or triple digit Instagram likes. I want it real bad
Congrats, brutha
Also, I haven’t felt this way since The Chase. Bravo sir, bravo
Just reading about the amount of whiskey y’all are drinking is going to give me a hangover
Yikes
Man. I feel alive just reading about this night. What a rush. This is good stuff man.
Also, Bill Nye, if you’re reading this…my fiancé isn’t a terrible person
Thanks for the support, Dave. We are having a live band so I don’t know why anyone would complain about anything.
Also, before you ask, I’m having leftover Chinese for dinner.
Hussle*
We sent out our invites 2 weeks ago and I’ve already had a few people call me out for no invite once they heard and even worse, a few “friends” complain about the no plus one (small destination wedding). Already plan on sitting them all in the back and making sure their dinner is served cold and soggy
THIS GOT ME SO PUMPED BEFORE MY FIRST CUP OF COFFEE I FEEL LIKE I DONT EVEN NEED ANY. BUT IM STILL GOING TO HAVE A CUP, OR FOUR BECAUSE THATS WHAT CLOSERS DO. HAVE A BLESSED DAY EVERYONE.
Had an ex that wore socks to bed. She ended up trying to break into our house, getting kicked out of school, and moving in with her new boyfriend’s (now husband) parent’s house.
Well I figured since we are commenting on a satire/comedy sight I’d go for more of the sarcastic/ridiculous comments. But for public record, I couldn’t be more happy and in love with my fiancé and she’s absolutely the best.
Scottsdale women are something else. Met mine 8 years ago and I’m about to marry her. They’ll get ya.