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Figuring out where to live after graduation can be mind-numbingly difficult. It’s like shopping for cars, or deciding on a college. When you were little, it seemed like options were limitless, until suddenly it was time to choose one. Luckily, Time released a personality test that chooses the best state for you, so you can embrace your laziness and have someone else make your decisions for you, just like any good millennial should. It’s just like a Cosmo personality quiz, only you can take it in public without worrying that people are watching you. My state of choice is apparently Louisiana, where I happen to already live, so I’m partial to believing it’s perfect. This test is basically a sorting hat, Harry Potter style, but for life.
The findings are surprising, and you might end up somewhere you never thought of, so start packing your bags now. It’s perfectly fine to quit your job because an online quiz told you that you have to move, or so I hear. A wrap-up of the study shows that the more extroverted you are, the more likely you are to end up in Wisconsin. Enjoy the cheese. If you’re not a huge fan of social interaction, you’ll do best in Vermont. I guess if I had all that Ben & Jerry’s at my disposal, it’s unclear if I would ever want to leave my house, either. Utah is the most agreeable place in the US, while D.C. is the least, which should surprise absolutely no one.
South Carolina was ranked most conscientious, while Maine was deemed least conscientious. West Virginia is the most neurotic state. While I would have gone with New York, I’m sure years of inbreeding most certainly has the potential to create some seriously neurotic human beings. (I’m sorry, it was too easy. Plus, I have no plans to visit West Virginia, so I’m pretty sure I’m safe). Utah is the least neurotic, so maybe we should all look into recreating Big Love and moving there together.
Before you start complaining bitterly that the map sorting hat made you a Hufflepuff but you totally know you’d be in Gryffindor, you need to realize that it took over 13 years to compile and they surveyed 1.6 million people. Alaska and Hawaii weren’t included because they couldn’t find enough participants, so if you’re supposed to live there you’ll have to figure that out on your own by planning a ridiculously expensive vacation, for “research.” The people surveyed were quizzed on their openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness and neuroticism, labels forming a handy acronym: “OCEAN,” which sounds like something a dating website would advertise. After the participants were surveyed, the country was broken down into three regions: New England and the Mid-Atlantic states, which are “temperamental and uninhibited,” the South and Midwest, which are “friendly and conventional,” and the West Coast, Rocky Mountains and Sun Belt, seen as “relaxed and creative.” While I appreciate the friendly label, I could do without the conventional tag, but hey, it’s nice to have confirmation that I’m in the perfect state for me. So if you’re tired of writing pro/con lists, aimlessly attempting to find out where you’re supposed to start your adult life, this is the quiz for you, whether you agree with the outcome or not.
[via Time]
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Margaret Abrams
Nothing Margaret writes should be taken seriously by anyone, including her parents, employers, or gentleman callers. She's currently coping with a quarterlife crisis.
@margaretabrams
@margaretabrams
According to my test, I belong in Georgia.
A Baltimore girl in the south? Scary thought.
I landed in Georgia as well. I guess it’s so long Chicago.
See ya there!
I interned in Baltimore for a summer. Talk about being lost. This Southern girl did NOT fit in. Everyone kept commenting on how I say “ya’ll” a lot.
I’ve traveled all over the country and nothing beats the South in terms of general standard of living and good people. You should probably leave Baltimore ASAP.
I agree. The people don’t get much better. When I move, I am really going to miss my only genuine social interactions each week which are with the Publix sub guy. He just gets me.
Oh how I miss Publix subs.
Don’t forget the random people who smile and say hi with no motives aside from just being genuinely friendly. I love the South.
I just can’t imagine leaving the Mid-Atlantic for something so unfamiliar. Also, don’t knock Baltimore. We have the SB Champs, The Wire, and crab cakes! It’s not all bad…
Most things north of North Carolina suck. The Sun Belt down here get northeastern transplants who can provide crab cakes without the crap that comes with it.
It’s really not that unfamiliar, coming from a Georgia girl leaving the South for the Mid-Atlantic.
Okay, that sounds great. Thanks! Where are you moving to?
DC. The only fundamental difference is that I am a Braves fan and those people are Nats fans. I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on that one.
Florida? No thanks.
Georgia. I dunno.
Washington DC? Uh, I would murder someone.
See ya at the U Street bars!
Nebraska. I guess it makes sense that I went to college there.
Must be a sign to move back to Georgia.
Oregon? Guess my next glasses will be hipster ones.
Florida… Does that make me an old person??
Bullshit, the test says I should be in Utah. Mormons don’t drink! I would be like a fish out of water
My cousins from Utah can really put away the booze but they’re Catholic, so…
Sweet, I’ve always wanted to live in Oregon kind of.
Got that one too. Same feels.
Long way from Texas
I’ve been around the block. Portland is full of hipsters and the homeless, generally lazy unemployed fucks.
You’d know what you weren’t missing as soon as you got there.