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“I think it’s… this one?” she questioned, pointing at what appeared to be steps up to an apartment. She opened her phone to double-check the address. “Yep, it’s definitely this one.”
Todd had his hands in his jacket pockets. It was an unusually brisk spring afternoon that Todd would’ve preferred to spend on a patio drinking a fall-ish rather than going over napkins and tablecloths.
She looked up at the building in front of her and said, “I guess we just… knock?”
Todd lumbered up the stairs and tapped his knuckle on the painted black door despite there being a doorknocker. They could hear light steps running down the stairs behind it. Both checking their phones to make sure they weren’t too late, the door began to open — not too fast, not too slow.
“Welcome!” he shouted, “Come in, come in,” he gestured.
He had a hint of a French accent as her mom had warned. Not enough to misunderstand everything he said, but enough to know that he was, in fact, from France. As he lead them up the stairs to his office, he initiated the conversation without letting either of them get a word in.
“Your mother has told me all about you two,” he began. “As you know, my name is Timothée.” Todd actually had no idea until that moment.
Upon entering his office, she couldn’t help but notice the intense similarities it had to Grace Adler’s office in Will & Grace. Even Todd had noticed, given the fact that they had been watching it during dinner more often than not as of late.
“This is uh-maze-ing,” she told him while he made his way to his chair situated behind a large desk littered with books and magazines — all wedding and event-related.
Todd took off his jacket and draped it over the back of the chair that he’d immediately sit down in. Pretending to shield his words from Todd, Timothée leaned forward and jokingly whispered, “What a catch you have here, dear.”
They laughed.
Originally, she was somewhat uneasy about hiring a wedding planner. After all, it was supposed to be her day, so the idea of someone else calling the shots didn’t sit well. It wasn’t until she finally looked around his office with starry eyes that she thought to herself, “Yep, I think this will work.”
Without wasting any more time, Timothée sat back in his chair and said, “Okay, tell me everything. Your vision, your hopes, your dreams, which bridesmaids you hate, your do-not-play songs — everything.” He even winked during the bridesmaid bit as if he’d said this to countless brides before.
A part of her was nervous. Not to express what she wanted for their wedding, but because it finally felt real. Before opening her mouth to answer, she looked over to Todd and hesitated. Putting her hand on his, she finally looked back to Timothée and spilled some words out.
“Welllllllllll,” she began, “This morning we decided that we want to do, uh, a destination.”
“Oh!” Timothée roared, “Perfection!” He nearly did a 360 swiveling in his chair due to the excitement. She took his enthusiasm as happiness to do something amazing, whereas Todd took it as him seeing them as walking and talking credit cards. “So tell me,” he demanded, “Where?”
Again, she hesitated. Considering they had just decided that morning, they hadn’t told their parents (or friends, for that matter) so Timothée was going to be the first person to know. “Well, Aspen,” she divulged.
“Aspen! Wonderful! I haven’t been there since the 80s!” Timothée gushed. “Tell me, what time of year?”
Todd took this as his moment to interject and attempt to insert some logic into the conversation.
“The way I look at it, doing a summer wedding this year is too ambitious,” he said. “On the way over here, we decided that a winter wedding could cause some issues — bad weather, travel, and so on — so a spring or summer date would be ideal, but next year.”
Timothée smiled. “You underestimate me, Todd,” he smirked. “I could throw you a wedding for the stars next weekend if you let me.”
Todd didn’t find this amusing.
“I kid,” Timothée assured him. “I kid.”
“That being said,” Todd interjected again, “we haven’t really come up with a date yet. I guess it could be based on the venue availability, her schedule, my schedule, your schedule—”
Timothée put one finger up. “Let me interrupt you briefly, Todd,” he said. “This is all about you. Spring of next year? Completely doable.”
She smiled.
“Here’s how my process works — especially with the amount of time we have,” Timothée continued. “For now, we’ll meet once a month — nothing big. We’ll talk about the vision, the motifs, the themes, everything.” He looked to her and gestured, “I assume you’ve already done some mental planning of your own, no?”
She was still smiling from before. “Well, I mean, of course, I have a Pinterest board that I could share with you?”
“Per-FECTION,” he announced. “Share that with me immediately, and I will put together a list of venues and sites that we can use, along with available dates.”
Slowly but surely, Todd became more and more comfortable as he droned on about the process they’d be going through in order to provide them with the wedding of her dreams.
“As of right now,” Timothée continued, “your job is to dream. Send me anything and everything you want, and I’ll put it all together into something you adore.”
It was at this point that Todd began to roll his eyes again. Looking over, he saw nothing but a large smile and nods from his soon-to-be bride. He peered down at his watch and realized that they had been talking abstractly for 45 minutes already.
“Well, you two,” Timothée concluded, “I’ll be in touch. As for you, Miss, I’m sure we’ll be talking very soon.”
They both stood out of their chairs and stretched while Timothée leaned forward to shake both of their hands. Heading back down the stairs that they just walked up an hour before, Todd couldn’t wait to get out.
“Goodbye, you two,” Timothée said while shutting the door. “Can’t wait to do it again.”
As the door shut, Todd pulled out his phone to call an Uber. As he confirmed their location, he looked up and noticed she had tears in her eyes.
“Are you okay, babe?” he asked.
It was then that he realized they were tears of happiness. “I’m just overwhelmed by how exciting this is going to be,” she told him. “Can we go celebrate with a glass of champs?”
“You know what?” Todd thought to himself. “Yeah, a drink sounds pretty damn good right now.” .
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
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“Todd actually had no idea until that moment.” pretty much sums up his entire relationship with Girl until this point. Side note: Willyum, what are we working with in terms of Girl’s looks say 1-10? Finally, gotta know what Todd is putting up with all this for. Thanks.
It’s 2018, Employed and Depressed. We don’t rate 1-10.
A-F, whatever.
Fine *eye roll*, on a scale of snacc then. We talking 1 c or 10 c’s?
Girl
7-hot
8-crazy
9- willingness to do the act girlfriends do but wife’s dont
Could “Thicc” also work…?
C’mon Willy. The people need to know. I always imagined she’s cute but her caboose is insane and Todd can’t bring himself to leave that
Is 2018 the year of binary then? Much easier to remember.
You’re a one in my code, Finance. Sup?
Big fan of the binary system myself…But dear god don’t use it to choose your spouse.
The area code method remains the gold standard
“hot or not” is kinda catchy.
I prefer Sexy or Rexy
Paris still goes
We won’t tolerate this shit anymore
I always picture the blonde lady from Flip or Flop
That’s a good shout, but I think it’s been established that she’s a brunette.
Though I do think there was a point made at some time that she was a brunette, I always picture her as a blonde.
I dated Girl for a while, 5’6 brunette with green eyes, innocent smile and an ass that could crack a walnut. Wears Chanel perfume.
For as terrible as she is, this is definitely a hard digit. No decimals.
I get the feeling Timothee got into some weird shit in Aspen back in the 80s.
My first thought was “Damn I bet Aspen in the 80’s was a hit”. Second thought, “What would Timothee have been up to during that time? Ohhh man, try not to think of that”
The answer is all of them. She hates all of her bridesmaids.
Here’s a great stat – since January 2017, the number of people forced to use food stamps is down 1.9 million. The American people are finally back to work! Except for Girl who still is unemployed, yet expects her father and Todd to fund her ‘dream wedding’ and expensive tastes….Last night, @FLOTUS did a spectacular job hosting the President of France @EmmanuelMacron and his wife Brigitte. The State Dining Room never looked more beautiful, and Washington is abuzz over what an incredible job Melania did. Had an GREAT conversation with President Macron that maybe Trump should extradite Girl and Timothée to his country. Would fit in much better there and would no longer be a problem from Trump each week. Thanks!
Really looking forward to your upcoming collab with Kanye
you should rendition her to gitmo or a black site in Poland
I’m going to make a prediction: Girl Fitzgerald calls off the wedding, not Todd.
I can’t explain the hunch. But it’s the hunch I have.
She has been subtly panicking about every aspect of the planning/pushing it off. And when she went to look at rings she freaked out. Totally valid prediction
I can see it
Cannot wait for Girl and Timothée to become enemies. Only a matter of time.
I’m 100% sure Timothee can out-diva Girl.
Timothee is going to pull some power moves that Todd should have used long ago.
I spent the entire article reading Timothée’s lines in Jean Girard’s voice.
You spilled my macchiato!
I was imagining a Michel from Gilmore Girls’ accent, but way more flamboyant
$10 Girl tries to become Timothees assistant after the wedding
lmbo
She’d have some kind of job, and Todd wouldn’t be pulling all the weight
At this point Todd might want to get the cheap wedding invitations George Costanza got for his wedding.
The word champs makes me want to bash my skull in with a brick.
Glad someone else feels the same way