======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
“Todddddddddd,” she drew out. “Lemme see your phone.”
Todd sighed before readjusting on the couch. She didn’t realize it, but he was following a baseball game through his ESPN App while she watched an episode of Giada In Italy for what felt like the hundredth time.
Todd looked up at her briefly before his eyes shot back down to his phone. “Just one sec,” he told her.
“Toddddddddddddddddddd,” she drew out even more. “Cooooome onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.”
He looked up, both annoyed and exasperated. “What’s so important that I have to give you my phone right this very moment?”
As her fingers feverishly texted, she responded without actually looking up and making eye contact. “Apparently Victoria posted a really ugly Instagram and we have a side text going about it — no one will screenshot it for me and I’d look myself but her Insta is private.”
“I…” Todd began before finally clearing the baseball game from his app. “Here you go.”
He tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling while she asked him where he kept his Instagram app on his home screen. He blankly told her that she could find it in his “Photography” folder which she was surprised he even had. Seconds after opening it, she began cackling. Still laughing 30 seconds later, she went back to side texting all of her friends outside of Victoria.
“Can I see my phone again?” Todd asked nicely (but somewhat annoyed).
Still looking down at her phone rather than at him, she brushed him off with a, “Yeah, one sec.”
Todd wasn’t so much annoyed that she was using his Instagram solely because she had deleted hers. He also wasn’t annoyed that he was phoneless. If anything, his frustration came from having two-hundred dollars on a game that he had no way of watching during its most pivotal outs.
Just as he leaned forward to grab the remote, she snapped at him.
“No,” she said, “Do not change the channel. She hasn’t made the butternut squash tortellini yet.”
“I just need to wat—”
“No, Todd,” she interrupted. “This stupid Apple TV app won’t even let me fast forward so we have to watch now.”
Todd slightly turned around and looked out the window in hopes someone in an apartment close to them had the game on. About five seconds into his voyeurism, he began to realize the absurdity of what he was trying to do. Standing up from the couch, he headed to the kitchen for what he originally thought would be a glass of water but soon would switch into a whiskey-water.
Still laughing from her spot on their sectional, she was switching between phones as if one was her work phone (which obviously wasn’t the case). Todd looked from afar and noticed her taking a screenshot of Victoria’s post which she soon texted to herself. Thinking this was his opportunity to get his phone back, he walked back to the couch with his newly made cocktail and snagged his phone while en route.
“Todd!” she yelled at him. “I wasn’t done!”
He quickly swiped down to see if he had an alert for the game. “Fuck,” he yelled to himself, but seemingly to her.
“Ummmmm, rude,” she told him.
“No, no, I’m sorry, babe,” he apologized while leaning over to put his hand on her leg. She quickly jerked away while he attempted to explain that the Dodgers had lost. It wasn’t until he said the team by name that he realized what he’d done.
Somewhat understanding that she wasn’t the one being yelled it, she asked, “Wait, why do you care about the Dodgers? Aren’t they from L.A.?”
“I, uh,” he stuttered.
“You’re betting again, aren’t you?” she snapped.
Todd was, in fact, betting again. He knew it, she knew it. But, he didn’t really care.
“I mean, yeah,” he tried to explain. “I have a little money on the game but nothing serious, I—”
She cut him off again.
“An eye for an eye, Todd,” she said while casually going back to side texting about Victoria’s photo. “Mama’s gonna start buying Maple Water from Whole Foods again.”
It was the one thing Todd did not want to hear. As trivial as it was, he had no explanation for why buying Maple Water from Whole Foods pissed him off so much. Deep down, he could understand coconut water. After all, it had cured several of his hangovers. But Maple Water? Maple Water? It was just such a waste of money in his eyes.
“Goddammi—” he began before calming himself. “Okay, fine. You can buy Maple Water with the money I win sports betting. That works for me.”
“That’s not even funny, Todd.”
“I know it’s not, I’d rather spend it on a trip or something but if you want to keep buying Maple Waters, keep buying Maple Waters.”
Trips were her weakness. Todd never wanted to take them because of vacation time at work, but he knew she’d jump at the chance to take one if he gave her even an inch. He sat on the couch and watched her squirm. He could tell she wanted to ask, “What kind of trip?” but was too proud to actually do so.
After gathering herself, she simply slinked back into place and kept texting. Todd felt as though he’d won but still didn’t get the comfort and satisfaction at winning. He had a feeling that this would eventually come back to bite him.
With the show ending on the television (and the tortellini being made while they argued), Todd asked if she wanted to restart it or if he could change the channel.
“Whatever you want, babe,” she told him quietly.
“Well what are you going to do the rest of the night?” he asked.
“Oh, so now you care about me? Okay. I’ll just be over here checking my Instagram for the first time in a week since I don’t want to bother you for your phone anymore.” .