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With “A Very She & Him Christmas” playing in the background, she pulled her black tights over her legs before zipping up her red and green flannel mini skirt. As she straightened her white blouse, there was a knock at the door. Sperry began barking over the music as she hushed him, almost tripping over him as she approached the door.
“Ugh, sorry, come in,” she said to Todd as he entered with a pick-six of winter-style beers. He undid his scarf and sat on the couch next to her Christmas tree while she went back into the bathroom to finish getting ready.
The two were five days removed from fatefully (okay, maybe “drunkenly” for Todd) on the street outside of Starbucks. Todd’s memory of the encounter was fuzzy at best, but her memory of the transpired events resembled that of a romantic wintry meet-cute. Or, a “fictional scene, typically in film or television, in which a romantic couple meets in a way that is considered adorable, entertaining, or amusing,” for those that haven’t seen The Holiday.
Waking up with a slight headache in an all-too-familiar bed, Todd was told, “I’m so glad we worked things out, and I’m so sorry I got upset about Rachel,” while her head rested on his chest. Sure, he knew they had talked, but he didn’t know things had gone that well.
While sitting on the couch, the events from the weekend before started to trickle back into his memory. His positioning, the lighting, everything seemed to bring him back to that moment in time.
But then an “Alright, ready!” startled him as he finished his second Isolation Ale.
“Yeah, let’s do this,” he responded before putting the rest of the beers in the fridge.
It was an especially cold night in the city. She was wearing the same fur headband that she had previously worn ice skating, and they decided to walk to the party which was being hosted at a hotel near her apartment. She had helped plan the party in the hotel’s bar on the top floor. With lights strung everywhere and a Christmas tree sitting in the middle of the scene, they emerged from the elevator with wide eyes.
“Wow, did you do all of this?” Todd asked. It was as if her life had built up to that moment, and despite receiving help from about twenty other employees, she took full credit.
Employee after employee trickled in while she and Todd made themselves comfortable at the open bar. Between rounds of bacon-wrapped dates and asparagus covered in prosciutto, Todd coasted on Hot Toddies, because, well, of course. Todd hadn’t attended one of her work functions yet, only meeting people here and there at impromptu mid-week happy hours.
When her boss approached, she introduced him quickly to Todd assuming they’d get along.
“Jeff, meet Todd!” she exclaimed while shaking his hand. Sneaking away to go talk to her work friend, Annie, their attention quickly turned to Jeff and Todd’s conversation.
“Oh my God, so cute,” Annie said to her as the bartender poured them both a fresh glass of pinot noir.
“Right?” she responded.
“So, like, what’s the deal with you two?” Annie pressed.
“We’re just working things out right now,” she responded confidently.
While Jeff and Todd made their way to a table to sit down and talk further about the trajectory of Todd’s career, she began to mingle with the rest of her coworkers. Her cheeks remained rosy as everyone complimented the job she had done with decorating the venue. Every compliment came with another, “Let’s go grab a drink!” And with every drink came another compliment.
Transitioning from pinot noir to vodka sodas to a round of Rumple Minze for the entire marketing division.
“Uh-oh, this isn’t going down well,” she said to someone before rushing to the bathroom to remedy the situation by way of throwing up. Heading back to the party to get back in the mix, everything became more and more blurry.
Before she knew it, she was opening her eyes with a splitting headache as Sperry licked her face. Uncomfortable, she soon realized she was still in her tights and skirt the night before, drunkenly cocooning herself under her comforter. Reaching over to turn her iPhone alarm off, a thought jumped into her head.
“Where’s… where’s Todd?” .
Image via Shutterstock
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
defriewf
will@grandex.co
DAMMIT WILL YOU DO THIS EVERY TIME
Rumple Minze is always a wild time. Ride the polar bear.
I had no idea how metal the Rumple Minze ad campaign was. The 90’s was a good time for The Minze.
Todd did blow with her boss
Dear Santa,
I don’t care what you bring me for Christmas this year, all I ask is that you don’t bring me any cliffhangers. Because I’ve gotten one of those every Wednesday for what seems like a year now from our dear friend Will deFries. Please make him stop and give us the literary satisfaction that we, the PGP readers, so desperately desire.
Sincerely,
The Naked Man
I feel like the “Isolation Ale” was a hint of things to come. deFries, you’re tricky with these literary devices.
Fuck you and your cliffhangers
You don’t even mean that, man.
I just can’t stay mad at you 😉
Or… I just can’t quit you. 🙁
Todd realized that he was about to make the same mistake twice…and left to the open, welcoming legs of Caroline.
She did get the booties at Nordstrom a few weeks ago EVEN AFTER CAROLINE TOTALLY DIBS-ED THEM IN THEIR GROUP TEXT. Now in return, Caroline knocks some booties with Todd. Justice is served.
That’s some Mean Girls level shit
Speak to us, Sperry! See-er of all!
“Waking up with a slight headache in all-too-familiar bed…”
Too fucking real, deFries.
She got drunk, made an ass of herself, started a fight with Todd, he stormed out of her apartment at 2:30 am.
…and then got laid.