Things Girls Do After Graduation: Lunch Date

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Things Girls Do After Graduation: Lunch Date

She wasn’t sure sure, but she had her suspicions. Just in case, she decided it would be prudent to put on a full face of makeup and switch from athleisure to Madewell.

The text came in sometime around 8 o’clock on Sunday night while she did her pre-bed routine. Sperry was nestled between her throw pillows while she began getting in bed, and a Friends rerun (“The One with the Proposal” obviously) played in the background. Todd had to leave town on business the next morning, so he needed to be in bed earlier than normal.

“Any plans on Wednesday afternoon?” Caroline asked out of the blue.

“This is it,” she thought. “This is my moment.”

She double-checked her phone to ensure that Katie wasn’t also on the iMessage conversation. Upon realizing she wasn’t, she promptly texted Katie “Any plans this week?” in an effort to see if she had also been invited by Caroline to lunch. Katie explained that she simply “could not be more busy” during the upcoming week, and from that point on, she knew that she was the one who was going to be asked by Caroline to be her Maid of Honor.

When the clock struck one on Wednesday afternoon, she sat patiently in Cafe Yolanda after ordering two cold brews from the bar – one for her, one for Caroline. Adjusting her hair and ensuring her makeup wasn’t messy by using her iPhone’s front-facing camera, she waited for Caroline to walk through the door.

She had practiced her emotions in the mirror all morning – excited, honored, everything. Nervous, she kept readjusting the table, straightening the silverware, and organizing the sweetener packets next to the succulent centerpieces.

When Caroline emerged through the front door of the restaurant, she gave out a shriek. Not a shriek loud enough to startle anyone, but still loud enough to let the rest of the restaurant know that she was excited to see Caroline.

“Oh my gawd,” Caroline said as they hugged and fake-kissed each other’s cheeks. “I fucking love your jeans, I’m totally getting those and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“These old things?” she responded while putting her hands flat on her thighs. “They, like, probably don’t even make them anymore.” But truthfully, the company did still make the jeans because she bought them on Monday. She simply didn’t want Caroline to get the same pair.

In Caroline’s hands were two things: her clutch and a canvas bag with a bottle of champagne sticking out of the top that she attempted to shield from her line of sight. Unable to contain herself, She asked, “Champs this early on a Wednesday? Don’t hate it.”

Caroline laughed.

“Well,” Caroline began.

And that’s when She knew.

She sat on her hands as to not fidget while Caroline reached below her chair and started lifting up the bag. She knew what was about to be asked and considered finishing Caroline’s sentence for her in a Zoolander-esque acceptance speech sort of way. Her vocal chords were begging to be unleashed with a frenzy of “yes, yes, yes” but Caroline still hadn’t gotten the actual words out.

“That’s actually why I asked you to lunch,” Caroline continued.

Her palms sweat while the thought of “Fuck you, Katie, I’m the Maid of Honor” ran briefly through her head. Realizing that she needed to act calm and surprised, she attempted to wipe the smile off her face and maintain a look of innocence in her eyes.

“I know it’s a little late,” Caroline went on. “And I know it’s a little close to when we should probably go on a bachelorette party,” she explained.

“Just fucking say it already,” she wanted to yell out.

“But, would you be my Maid of Honor?” Caroline finally asked.

She put her hands over her mouth acting fake surprised despite the fact that she had already “known” for the past three days. Prior to that very moment, she knew there would be two outcomes of the lunch – she’d either gleefully accept her duties as Maid of Honor, or she’d talk shit behind the would-be Maid of Honor’s back (ie. Katie’s back) for the foreseeable future.

“Yes, yes, yes!” she exclaimed.” Of course, I’ll be your Maid of Honor!” At this point, her screaming went from letting others in the restaurant know what happened loudly to actually startling them with the commotion.

Caroline took the bottle of Veuve Clicquot out of her bag. Written on the bottle in paint pen was, “Will you be my Maid of Honor?” written in calligraphy.

Immediately setting the bottle down after grabbing it from Caroline’s clutches, they both stood up next to the table and began hugging while jumping up and down.

After sitting down, she explained to Caroline, “Ugh, I was so hoping you’d ask me,” before gently asking, “Soooo, who else is going to be in your bridal party?” with the sole intention of wondering if Katie had found out yet.

“Well,” Caroline hesitated. “I know this is a little unorthodox, but since y’all are such good friends I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal.”

She could feel her face turning white as Caroline started explaining. Luckily, she had put enough foundation on that it wouldn’t matter or be obvious.

“I’ve also asked Katie to be a co-Maid of Honor.”

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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