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It’s 4 p.m., or sometime after your favorite NFL team’s game has just come to an end and you’ve realized that you doubled the allotted beer consumption you gave yourself before the game. But win or lose, you know one thing that’s consistent with every Sunday night: the anxiety that sets in before your return to work, school, or the office. It’s the Sunday Scaries, and if you haven’t figured out what they are by now, you’re a rare breed. But studies have shown that over half of millennials suffer from them, and once you start, it’s pretty damn tough to stop.
In an effort to avoid your Scaries amplifying themselves, we have coping mechanisms. When all of these coping mechanisms come together in the comfort of your own home, we have The Panic Room. Citing a column written at length about Panic Rooms, they can be summed up fairly simply:
The Panic Room has a consistent mix of sensory objects, all intentionally used to either heighten relaxation or diminish anxiety.
Sunday after Sunday, I sit in my bed with an iced water and the television playing just about two volume notches too low and rate the panic rooms that people submit to me. And now, it’s time to offer everyone a breakdown of the tradition we’ve come to love.
I’m not sure why, but this was the first of two people to express that they’re drinking an Oregon wine in defense of the Sunday blues. While I’m not an expert about Pacific Northwest wines, I respect it nonetheless. Oh, and the robe move? Pro.
This guy said to himself, “You know what? Why get regular Goldfish when you can get Flavor Blasted? I’m not drivin’.” You have to respect that move almost as much as you have to respect how responsible his entire apartment looks.
The only cure for the Sunday Scaries is taking Monday off, but taking a work from home day definitely helps – no commute, you can justifiably wear pants with an elastic waistband for as long as your heart desires, and you don’t have to lie to your coworkers by saying, “I had a pretty low key weekend,” when they know you got fucked up from Friday to early Sunday morning.
And tossing wine in a Tervis tumbler is a long-practiced move of Panic Roomers near and far. Bravo.
Patagonia Baggies? Check. Sweatshirt so people can’t see how bloated you are? Check. Pinot defense? Check. Ice water? Check. These are all staples that you can learn from, guys (and girls).
When you’re hungover and your place is a mess, your only move is to begin cleaning by giving your coffee table the attention it deserves. You have to get rid of everything on it that isn’t completely necessary – and yes, that includes empties, you savage.
You know our boy Josh here was like, “I need to eat something that’s not pizza,” so he hit the store for some apples. Mix in a little LaCroix and chill time in your bed and you’re on your way to Sleeptown, USA.
Any time you’re mixing and matching joggers with crewnecks, you’re going to be happy with the results. While I don’t recommend mixing and matching Xanax with alcohol (college kids are maniacs these days), you’re probably fine if you limp through one single glass of wine and ride that Xannie buzz into some terrible work dreams that’ll inevitably wake you up around 3 a.m.
One of our best submissions from the night. The sneaky Kombucha in the photo with a piece of Lulu gear and an impending work from home? All the clap emojis.
Whenever you’re with a dog at your mom and dad’s house, you know things are going to be chill af. It’s pretty tough to have a panic attack around your parents even though they’re probably in the other room saying, “Should we be worried about him?”
Everyone knows that fireplaces + Frasier + dogs = #chillsitch. It’s mathematics.
See, I thought I was the whitest dude ever until this dude played college tennis and was in a bocce league.
I got home from New York City last night with a case of Scaries and a sweaty pair of joggers on only to enter my room and see that the cleaning person had come while I was gone. Top five moment in my life that’ll probably rank somewhere between having kids and getting married.
No matter what you do, a newly shattered phone and a trip to the Apple Store is enough to make anyone reassess their entire life path.
Cashmere sweatpants? Damn, someone got a raise. But that What Women Want move is stellar – Mel and Helen Hunt knock it out of the park.
Beautiful work this week, everyone. And if you’re ever Scared and need someone to hold your hand, don’t forget to submit your Panic Room photos when the time comes on Sunday and you’re teetering on an existential crisis. .
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
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I think we’re rolling out a site update with a new logo/color scheme today. It has nothing to do with Will’s column, but just a heads up. Also, I did Patagonia sweats and a quarter zip sans undershirt with a glass of La Crema. Walking Dead then Westworld. Slept poorly.
I got high off of some tincture drops in water and watched West World too and all I could think about the whole time was that we are essentially the robots and the aliens are the people but we as a species are getting smarter and the aliens are feeling the pressure because the secret is close to being out.
The comment section on the site after the update is absurd. Giving me anxiety.
Seriously, the comment section updates are god-awful. Wtf.
Rachel, relax. I have made my return to the comment section which is pretty much the only reason to look at the comment section. It doesn’t matter about appearance, substance is what truly matters and I’m not talking about alcohol or period blood, or man yogurt, or artisanal mayonnaise from Brooklyn, or the shit leaking into the ocean from a nuclear reactor in Japan.
It’s way different at home on my laptop versus my work computer. Jury is still out.
Holy shit that westworld ending did nothing to ease my scaries last night. So hype.
The quarter zip sans undershirt is highly underrated.
The aqua seems more conducive to a panic room than the red, so maybe there is some correlation
Kara bragging about 1% cashmere sweats. Classic Kara.
Humble brag about the maid – I respect the power moves Will.
There’s so much white on the screen with this new site update.
I know I’ll get used to it eventually, but I’m gonna complain for a few weeks.
I closed my browser and opened up the PGP app because I wasn’t ready for that kind of change on a Monday morning.
Fuck, I missed the opportunity to show you my Sunday Scaries outfit grid. It was Nike joggers, some argyle dress socks, Toms slipped things (perfect for Bruce Lee style snap kicks), Patagonia FitzRoy sweater (grey) ((from Manoutfitters)), a Wicked Clothing French Terry hoodie with side zippers along the waisthem, a Bruins beanie with a that fluffy ball thing at the top….if you haven’t guessed yet, we don’t have heat yet
Thing of beauty, though. There’s always next week.
Word, Will. Word.
oh boy……remember when yahoo changed their layout and everyone said change it back but they didn’t listen. yaaaaaaaa about that.
I needed this today
My proudest achievement to date was when Sunday Scaries gave my Panic Room setup a 10/10
The long sleeve t-shirt and shorts combo is far underrated
Still struggling this morning, crippled with the anxiety this shattered screen is giving me until I read this. This is exactly what I needed this morning. Respect Will.