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As we stood nervously at the bar for it to arrive, her hands were shaking in anticipation and excitement. The bartender began uncorking a new bottle of champagne as she feverishly pointed down to two flutes in front of her pleading, “Please, pour some now, she’s going to be here soon.”
The bartender frantically started pouring Veuve into the flutes as her palms started to sweat.
“Oh, fuck, she’s here,” I was told as she coyly entered the front of the restaurant. I couldn’t tell from afar, but I thought I saw it as she walked in the door. It’s not normally the kind of thing you try to show off, but it was easy to tell why the carrier was so excited and energetic. As she approached us, both parties were skittish in their demeanor not knowing what to do with themselves.
Everyone was smiling wide knowing what was about to come. And as she reached her hand out of her coat pocket and brought it out in the middle of the bar, the two began to scream. It seemed irresponsible to flash it around like that, so I couldn’t tell if I actually saw it or just wanted to believe I did. Thinking they needed to quiet down and keep a lower profile, I shamelessly hushed them and told them to calm themselves. But they couldn’t help it. It was corsing through their veins. It was all they could think about, all they could talk about.
“Let me see it,” the girl I was with gestured to the newcomer. And as their hands began to creep closer and closer to one another, they finally met. There it was, in all its glory.
Both of their eyes dilated as they soaked it all in near the back corner of the hotel’s bar. You could feel the temperature of their bodies increasing. Their behavior became even more erratic and restless as they passed it around.
Throughout the night, the conversation kept looping back to it. “I can’t stop thinking about it,” one would say to the other.
“I know, I keep looking at it,” the other would respond peering down below the table in its direction. They kept losing themselves in a daze over it.
The high would last from about 15 to 30 minutes before they’d grab another glass of champagne and revisit it. The excitement would spike with every glance before the conversation would trickle back into normalcy.
Meanwhile, there was another figure at the bar, but he was deep in conversation with another group of friends. Behind his back, one of them asked, “How much was it?” without trying to publicize it to the rest of the bar.
“I’m not sure, but it wasn’t cheap,” she responded with a whisper. “You can tell how high-quality it is just by looking at it.”
When he looked over to us, the girls quieted each other so as not to give away what they were talking about. After all, it was wildly taboo to discuss it publicly, so she covered it back up with her other hand. They didn’t want to be obvious with it for fear of being judged by the rest of the room.
Once he went to the bathroom, it came up again. “Do you know where he got it from?”
“I’m not sure, but I think he got it in downtown Houston somewhere,” she continued. “He wouldn’t tell me where though, and I didn’t want to pester him about it.”
As the night wore on, it was unclear what was affecting the girls the most — this, or the endless champagne. Either way, it was obvious that their heart rates were spiked for the entirety of the night. Their euphoric state flowed between aggressive and unusual excitement, peaking with every mention of it.
When the night finally wound down and they said their goodbyes, you could tell that neither girl wanted to go to bed but the exhaustion started to set in. Putting their coats on, they stood up from their table and approached the door. After making plans to see each other again the following weekend, they knew the night to follow would presumably transpire in a very similar manner (but neither seemed to mind).
They emerged from the hug and looked each other in the eyes before they acknowledged it one last time.
“But seriously, your engagement ring is perfection.” .
Graphic by John Naffziger
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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She looked at the ring longingly and screamed, “It’s so preciouuusssssss!!!!”
via GIPHY
As someone who bought a wedding ring five minutes ago, at least I have my “will you marry me?” down…
Hey man, why don’t you go steal someone else’s thunder on the site?
JK, that’s awesome.
No thunder stolen. I actually sent the Mrs. your article first thing this morning (included #irony). Will’s got the pulse of the nation on his fingers.
Yaaay!
WOOOOOO CELEBRATION FRIDAY!
Cannot wait. Only 4 hours and 20 mins separate us #weedgags (but also what Googlemaps said)
Big congrats Madoff!
Dear god Todd get out before it’s too late!
When you know it’s about to be your turn…
I’m over 30 and still have no desire to get married. I do enjoy bachelor parties and open bar weddings though.
“Wait until you meet the right person!” PGP.
Currently dealing with this. I was told the expectation is 2-3 total carats. Almost broke up with her right then and there.
A little PSA to the fellas out there: you can cheat on quality to increase size, if size is the most important element for her. You can find a ~1 ct. stone that’s an SI1 clarity and G or H color for around $2000.
2-3c? That’s absurd amounts of money, probably on the order of $25k or more. And think about how that predicts expectations in other areas. Starter home under $500k? Surely you’re joking. SUV that costs less than $50k? What are we, poors? And why does my AMEX have a spending limit?
Little tip for you, buy the rock from a broker or even a pawn shop. You can go get the setting from somewhere else. Save yourself some cash by not buying the whole thing from a jewelry store who.
Yes, buy a diamond at a pawn shop from someone else’s failed marriage and never tell your wife where you got it. That bodes well.
A phoenix has to rise from those ashes at some point right?
I agree, stay away from stores like Kay, Jared, etc. I found a couple websites that are pretty good and make me feel better than a pawn shop. jaredallen.com and brilliantearth.com
I think you mean James Allen. Jared Allen is a football player 😉
You’re right my bad.
But try him anyway. Dude has to have some spare jewelry laying around.
Pretty sure my brother got a good deal from ice.com. Sounds gangster af too.
Try Ritani, they send everything to a jeweler which is nice rather than having an expensive piece of jewelry sent directly to your apartment or house. Plus the jeweler does not really benefit much from this process so they will be completely honest with you and try to compete with what Ritani sent.
Well, they say you should spend two to three years salary right?
I know that this may not be an option for everyone, but go with a heirloom diamond if you can. You can get it reset in something that fits their style and give them something that offers a connection to past family.
That’s what I did, the engagement ring and band were only $1500, and she has a nicer rock than I could have ever afforded. That’s another plus of asking for the parents’ blessing, sometimes they’ll surprise you.
“Size doesn’t matter” – PGP
My fiance lucked out. I’ve always had my heart set on a family ring so he paid nothing. Just had to ask my dad. And I’m equally if not more obsessed with this ring than I would have been with something new.
Didn’t realize you had an account as well.
Or, you know, don’t get married.
If it was anyone else saying this, I’d understand the down votes. But you should get a pass.
Thanks, Boone1. I have enjoyed my renewed freedom.
When you finally realize it would be too much work to find a new girl… bluenile.com is the place to go. My buddy who owns a jewelry store said he can’t even match their prices. Or buy a damn moissanite and hope she doesn’t get it tested. Shit looks better than a real diamond and costs just a couple hundred for a big ass one. Just kidding, talk to her before you do this… maybe.