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- Buying the office building he works in and proceeding to run it like a Soviet work camp.
- Responding to a coworker’s prank by boasting about being able to skin a mule deer in under five minutes.
- Bringing a loaded gun into the office and discharging it to intimidate his subordinates within 48 hours of becoming regional manager.
- Recyclops going from friendly, environmentally conscious office mascot to full blown villain over the course of five years.
- Commandeering Jim’s desk while he was on paternity leave to create Megadesk.
- Continually outbidding Bob Vance by one penny for a hug from Phyllis.
- Performing his own circumcision.
- Challenging and defeating the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website in a sales competition to impress a former lover.
- Raising his cholesterol just so he could lower it.
- Taking away the bathroom privileges for all female employees because he was mad at them for bathroom graffiti.
- Leaving Phyllis five miles from the office without a phone and wallet to force her to lose weight.
- His emergency organizational chart.
- Entering into a sex contract with Angela to have a child for business purposes and insisting the child must be male.
- Sacrificing the feeling in his hands and penis in order to win a snowball fight against Jim.
- Suggesting downsizing during his first job interview with Dunder-Mifflin.
- Assuming Phyllis is a lesbian because she makes no effort to be attractive.
- Replacing Jim and Pam’s kitchen cabinets instead of grabbing Pam’s iPod.
- This shirt:
- Contractually denying Angela eye contact during sex because it’s rare in nature.
- Wishing he could menstruate so he wouldn’t need calendars.
- Rocking M-frames and pulling it off.
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
brianmcgannon
Next up George Costanza
“I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.”
Disagree.
The fuck?
Picture didn’t load on my phone, I vote yay for this
“Today, smoking will save lives”
“Downsizing? I have no problem with that. I have been recommending downsizing since I first got here. I even brought it up in my interview. I say, bring it on!”
“There are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we’re downriver from that old bread factory.”
Firing a gun should have been top move
Having a German preacher marry him and Angela and disgusting it as a rehearsal should’ve been on the list, McGannon.
I dunno, getting married is not generally a power move on any level.
Disguising* goddammit autocorrect.
Looks like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays
He’s a Financial Prodigy, not a Grammar one.
The entire “The Coup” episode. Most notably, the way he eats waffles after demanding Michael’s job. Also, painting Michael’s office black to intimidate his inferiors during The Job before actually being promoted.
“The desk is a replica of Uday Hussein’s desk. I saw a picture in Newsweek.”
“Nothing to worry about, just using the scope. Safety is…on.”
“I don’t have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor’s dog.”