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Last year, when I was relatively new at my office, a coworker of mine asked for a standing desk when HR made their yearly round of purchasing office furniture in an effort to stop us from bitching at them. I thought it was an interesting idea, although not really up my alley – all I wanted was a nicer chair that didn’t smell like hot Cheetos and ball sweat. I got my chair, and HR ended up getting my coworker her standing desk. It was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen.
My coworker didn’t really consider the fact that she asked for a standing-only desk, and she wasn’t able to move it down if she wanted to sit. As a result, she was either forced to stand for hours on end or she’d perch awkwardly on the table where the rest of our computers sat and try to type with her her hands above her head. All this did was result in me having to stare at her blue underwear and ass crack, which were about level with my face. And yet, she acted like her stupid standing desk was the greatest thing in the world, and that all of us lesser, sedentary folk should feel inferior to her athleticism and all the extra calories she was burning by standing. But now, I have science to back up my opinion of standing desks—they’re not nearly as useful as they sound in theory, and if you thought getting one would help you burn off a few extra pounds, you thought wrong.
According to a new study, people who stand for fifteen minute periods at work only burn eight to nine more calories than those who only sit. What does that mean? It means your standing desk isn’t doing shit about your beer belly. Walking was proven much more effective, and those who walked for fifteen minutes per hour burned roughly 130 more calories than sitting or standing. Standing at work isn’t the worst thing ever; it’s true. It’s still better than sitting continuously for eight hours in terms of back pain and blood sugar regulation, but if you’re really working on that summer bod, taking a walk with your work spouse is a way better idea. Or, at the very least, get a mobile standing desk that gives you the option to sit down, so your coworkers don’t have to suffer the way I did. Trust me, they’ll thank you. .
Image via Shutterstock
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Rory Gilmore
Rory Gilmore on the outside. Emily Gilmore on the inside. Email me funny shit at rory_gilmore20@yahoo.com.
@rory_gilmore20
You need to get one of those lay down desks that you can have over your bed so you never have to get up.
Or my personal favorite, outsource and automate your own job using some of your income so that you can go be an actual person and then when your company tries to take you to court, just say that you beat them at their own game.
Showing leadership potential by delegating all of your work to a family of 3 in China for ten cents on the dollar. PGPM.
“all I wanted was a nicer chair that didn’t smell like hot Cheetos and ball sweat”
What kind of savages do you work with?
It’s amusing what people will spend money on to make them believe they’ll be less fat one day.
When I worked in a cubicle farm I had my desk raised so I stood all day. Not to lose weight, but to see outside where I wanted to be. It also made it easier to sneak away because nobody heard my chair creaking when I left.
You just asked for a new chair…and got it? I had to wait for someone with a nice chair to retire for me to get (take) one!
I have a sit/stand desk, although I never heard the “it’s a magical weight loss desk” argument. I just did it for my back and I don’t regret it at all. Slouching in a chair ruined my 25 year old back.
Agreed, it’s not about weight loss. The monitor(s) thing is totally true as well. If anything standing up keeps me from falling asleep.
Gotta love the Varidesk for the after-lunch lull. Helps keep me awake instead of settling for another cup of coffee
Yeah, I’m a programmer and have a sit/stand desk. Even when I’m not using the standing feature, it helps because the monitors are at an appropriate height as opposed to the low stands I had before. It helps with your back and neck a ton.
I’d like to do something that would ruin your 24 year old back.
Working in the architecture industry, it seems the furniture companies are pushing standing height desks paired with a high desk chair or adjustable height desks. I don’t think any of them push weight loss benefits, only posture/blood flow benefits.
TL;DR your coworker is a dumbass
Are you excited about the Gilmore girls thing coming to Netflix soon?
Yeah, because sitting all day is doing great things for your figure…
Found the guy with a standing desk. Don’t be that guy.
Or the guy who talks about his “figure”