Redditors Describe The Awkward Moments At Weddings That Had ‘Divorce’ Written All Over Them

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We have to be honest with ourselves – not every wedding is a good idea. Whether it’s a shotgun wedding or a wedding taking place after a five-year engagement, some should just never take place. This Reddit thread blew up with these exact stories, and the Redditor responses were highly entertaining.

The groom looked drunk and the bride seemed incredibly angry. Then there was this woman walking around during the reception placing bets on when they would divorce. I later found out she was the mother of the groom.

Always a bad sign when your mom is your divorce bookie. But given her and her son’s behavior, can’t really put the bride at fault for being a little pissed off.

At the rehearsal dinner, the groom’s mom is in tears, because “he looks miserable” and he was, we all knew it. During the vows they had written for eachother, the bride starts with “I know I can be a pretty terrible person, and I don’t know why you’ve stuck around, but that’s all going to change starting today!”
They were divorced a year later.

At least she’s self-aware?

She flinched when he turned to kiss her. They were divorced within six months.

That hasn’t happened to me since 8th grade when I tried to kiss a girl during Rob Schneider’s The Animal in theaters.

My cousin (the bride) told us, as she was going from table to table thanking the guests, that she didn’t think it would last. We were stunned. They lasted about a year.

Maybe she was trying to avoid making things weird by going through with the ceremony rather than getting cold feet and fleeing the scene. Kind of respect it.

Groom got caught getting frisky with a bridesmaid. That marriage lasted for about two hours.

Shooters shoot.

We knew the couple was in trouble when they frowned during most of the ceremony and later didn’t go on a honeymoon because they couldn’t agree on a destination. They had plenty of money – just no desire to compromise.

They should’ve just taken some time for themselves and gone on separate honeymoons. Honestly, that doesn’t sound all that bad. After all, he’d probably get to play more golf than he would otherwise.

When the father of the bride (!!) tells the groom “How can you marry somebody like her? You are too nice, you deserve better.”
Surely enough, the marriage lasted less than 3 years. During the whole time, the wife was doing drugs and prostituted herself to get money for drugs.

I bet the father of said bride and the ex-husband still chill together and make jokes about the marriage while eating club sandwiches at the country club. Love it.

My sister’s new husband made out with a bride’s maid on the dance floor of the reception.

Maybe he was so drunk on single malt that he mixed the two up? I don’t know. I should probably avoid trying to justify that type of behavior.

At the end of the reception the guys are sitting at a table away from everyone else talking and we ask the groom why he proposed. His answer? “Because she was naked.”
Marriage lasted about a year and a half.

Sure, it’s sad that they didn’t last, but the answer of “because she was naked” is amazing.

The groom’s vows:

“Dear Bride, we’ve had our ups and downs — mostly downs — ”

…..

Uh, yeah, dude. Might be time to bounce.

They spent $50k on a Disney wedding and the bride spent zero time anywhere near the in-laws for several hours. She ran off a week later.

Come on, people. Stop getting married at Disney World.

My cousin’s wedding. The groom invited his ex, who was also the mother of his one year old son (he and my cousin had been dating for longer than two years), and my cousin (who was then very pregnant herself) got into a loud screaming match with him over it in a bathroom. They eventually came out and got married, my cousin with puffy red eyes from crying that you can see in every wedding photo that was taken.

Hey, at least those photos aren’t supposed to last a lifetime. Oh, wait, yes they are. On the bright side, none of her friends probably had to endure the post-wedding Instagram frenzy most girls go into.

At my brothers wedding his bride gave him the cheek at the “you may kiss the bride” part. Yeah she ended up cheating on him with some guy online in less than a year.

SWERVE.

The bride came creeping up to my brother and handed him a note detailing how much she loved him and if he wanted her all he had to do was object when the time came. He handed the note off the the grooms sister and we left before the ceremony began. My Facebook says they did end up getting married, haven’t seen them since then though.

If that bride really thought this dude would object and reciprocate her love, she really was nuts.

The groom invited his female friend, she was in the early stages of pregnancy. Towards the end of the night, the bride asked aforementioned friend who the father was. The friend cheerfully said the groom’s name.

Something tells me that their wedding wasn’t exactly the classiest affair to begin with, so let’s just act like this never happened.

For all the stories, head over to the Reddit thread and soak in the trashiness. .

Image via YouTube

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Will

Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.

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